MattD6847424 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 So this is a long one. About two months ago I (31) started going out with a girl who we will call Brie (33). Things went really well but when we had sex it was a disaster. I’ve never been particularly good in bed and really struggle with it so it’s not surprising. My size is a big (no pun intended) challenge and there are other issues too. A few days later she told me very nicely we would be better as friends. I really liked her so I got a little desperate and told her if the sex was bad her and I could go out but she could have sex with other guys she agreed to this. In all honestly this went pretty well she would say she was “busy” on nights she met with others guys and she was in a good mood so I didn’t really ask about it but kind of determined she had worked it down to one guy she was sleeping with. She was “busy” 3-5 times a week with him. I guess it was a good fit because he worked a ton and did not want a relationship. This went on for about a month and I wasn’t very jealous or thinking about it much until about two weeks ago her and I went out and we bumped into my younger brother (26) and it got super awkward right away I didn’t really understand it but upon asking it turns out he is the other guy. She likes tall lean guys and my brother and I have a lot of friends in common and several mutual friends so I guess it was a matter of time before something like this happened. So what do I do? Things have just continued on as before with her being “busy” and he doesn’t seem to care at all but now I’m super jealous and thinking they must be having really good sex now. She has been “busy” 11 times in the past two weeks - any advice? Any chance the uptick means she’s probably leaning his direction? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 Well isn't it obvious? Stop seeing her. There problem solved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 14 minutes ago, MattD6847424 said: she told me very nicely we would be better as friends. Sorry this happened. It doesn't sounds like an "open relationship", but rather acquiescing to the idea that you are friends and she is hooking up with others. It may be best to forget being friends since that's not really working if she's hooking up with your brother. Step out of this triangle/mess and find more compatible women who want what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MattD6847424 Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. It doesn't sounds like an "open relationship", but rather acquiescing to the idea that you are friends and she is hooking up with others. It may be best to forget being friends since that's not really working if she's hooking up with your brother. Step out of this triangle/mess and find more compatible women who want what you want. I wouldn’t say we were friends we did do stuff too. Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 Matt, why are you doing this to yourself? I was close to tears reading this as it’s clear that you think so low of yourself that you willingly accept being the lowest priority. You clearly accept others treating you disrespectfully. Why??? You don’t want an open relationship! You accept an open relationship because you think it’s what you deserve. Let me tell you: you deserve better! Much better! What do you mean you’re rubbish in bed? Why on earth do you think that? Having a big penis does not make a great lover if that’s what you mean. Can you explain why you think this?.... In any event being bad in bed does not equate to deserving to be treated badly. First step: Stop allowing yourself to be mistreated by those around you. End it with the girl ... yesterday. Second step: work on picking your self esteem off the floor. Third step, find a partner who values you and wants to be with you. Stop accepting Booby Prizes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 (edited) Sounds like you got friendzoned and she's she wants to hook up with your bro instead. Where is the open relationship. And why are you doing to yourself. Find a diff girl. Edited March 5, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Why are you even still seeing this girl? Honestly, why? She's clearly not interested in you, so what's the point? Let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 She seeing your brother twice as much as she sees you. The two of you are not in a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MattD6847424 Posted March 5, 2021 Author Share Posted March 5, 2021 6 hours ago, ShyViolet said: Why are you even still seeing this girl? Honestly, why? She's clearly not interested in you, so what's the point? Let her go. I wouldn’t say I’m 9 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Sounds like you got friendzoned and she's she wants to hook up with your bro instead. Where is the open relationship. And why are you doing to yourself. Find a diff girl. I wouldn’t say I’m friend zoned we still do some stuff! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 6 minutes ago, MattD6847424 said: we still do some stuff! Do you mean she has sex with your brother but you two have sexual contact but not sex? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Can you just imagine the first time she comes to Thanksgiving dinner? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, MattD6847424 said: I wouldn’t say I’m I wouldn’t say I’m friend zoned we still do some stuff! You mean seconds when your bros/no one else is available? Edited March 5, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Indigo Night Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Do you plan on spending the rest of your life telling romantic partners to seek sexual fulfilment elsewhere? If you are that bad, learn how to be better!! It really isn't that difficult to be a satisfying partner in the bedroom. There are so many different ways to please a partner sexually. Buy toys if wanted or needed. Watch videos of you enjoy them. Read books like the Kama Sutra, or Tantric Massage. Practice!!! Explore and have fun. No one starts out good in bed. Staying bad in bed is a choice. You have to choose to improve by selling it w ways to bring a good lover. It will benefit you to do so. Size only matters when you don't know how to use it, and do anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
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