Disabled husband that is just not interested

[Just a Guy]

Hi Female, it is sad to see that your issues are still unresolved. While I agree that a person's faith is an important part of what defines them, I have to say that religion is a relatively new addition to our human perception of our existence on earth. The human race has been around for a few million years at least. In the beginning we were not very different from our animal ancestors. There was no religion. Over millennia, as man evolved into a more intelligent creature, he started asking questions and developing a sense of right and wrong. This process of development led to his/her developing a sense of conscience. The advent of religion in its varied forms followed. The fact is that much before religion was even a twinkle in the eye of man/woman, Nature was driving the human race to procreate to ensure the survival of the species. Part of this process was natural selection where the fittest and strongest of the species survived while the weak and deformed were killed off. Nature is ruthless in its purpose and concepts like compassion and sympathy do not exist in its lexicon.

However, with the further development of the human race, concepts like Faith, Compassion, Sympathy and Tolerance emerged and developed and today form a significant part of the human experience. My point in all this is that one's Faith is a fairly new concept in the human experience, whereas, our lizard brains are wired to establish the principle of "Survival of the fittest"! They are also wired to procreate at all costs and to pass on our genes to posterity. Your higher than normal libido is just a manifestation of this inbuilt drive and it is not something undesirable or despicable to be covered over in layers of sanctimonious whitewash. Of course we are now creatures of compassion, sympathy, tolerance and kindness! We are also creatures of conscience and therefore cannot act the way our animal ancestors did, purely on impulse. However, these traits that I have mentioned are reciprocal. Do unto others as you would do to yourself. Your husband has been the victim of marital sexual abuse. He has been through hellfire. He is the best person to know what it means to be denied sexually. He should extend the same compassion and sympathy to you that you have extended to him through his ordeal after his accident. All those who talk of you breaking your vows etc seem to me to be driven by a sadistic desire to see you suffer. The sex drive in both men and women is a God given attribute, just as much as the attributes of sight, hearing, taste, smell and so on. If God did not want you to use and enjoy this drive, he would not have given it to you. Like everything in the human domain, if you do not use some God given gift, it will atrophy. There is no reason for you to let your sex drive atrophy. 

So my advice is that you have that discussion with your husband in a loving and persuasive manner, assuring him that you will always be by his side, but that if hr does not want you to wither on the vine, that he should grant you the freedom to have your sexual needs met else where, since he is not in a position to do so. That is the ethical way to go about it. Warm wishes.