Onlyafterdark Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 (edited) Hi everyone, so heres my story, 7 years together, mainly wonderful. She has 2 kids, i have 2 but live with mum. so this is mainly where it went wrong, my son started suffering mental health issues and she said she didnt want it around her kids, next thing she wanted rooms for her boys as mine only come 3 nights a week and live elsewhere. She wanted me to put a dividing wall up for a teenage girl and boy. i left 7 mnths ago , we carried on seeing each mainly saturdays, i noticed over the months he affection dwindling. 5 weeks we have been txt arguing and she re added an old male friend. This is where its caused issues, we first started our relationship she wanted to do clothes modelling and she went to his house to do some pictures. She showed me them one in just underwear. Anyway i was uncomfortable with it but said nothing. Months later i came across an old email where she had sent him a picture of her breasts, his reply nice t***! I broke up with for a few days and thought about, she told me it was before we got together. Then months into our relationship he was sending her pictures of his genitals and him having explicit sex with women. She showed me and was honest but just found it funny. At this point i told her thats disgusting you either tell him or block him, she chose to block. Now since i left approx 5 mnths down the line shes told me shes unblocked him and should never have blocked a good friend. I did something in retaliation and told her ok ive unblocked a girl who sent me pictures weeks after we got together and a blocked her out of respect for you. she went mad accusing me of cheating etc because ive unblocked her and this girl use to fancy me. I said ok how do i know he didnt want more with you. she finished our relationship because i said you need to choose your friend or me, ( testing her) for a whole week we was emailing each other as shes blocked me. Met her yesterday for 2 hours to talk she started showing me a new guy whos sending funny things to her , said look im being honest with you hes just a guy who comes into her store and is married etc. we sat there i asked what now shes told me to go away sort my head out and take things slowly. Hasnt replied to my emails saying how sorry iam for moving out etc but told me we will take things slowly. I just have no idea what to think or do Edited February 28, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 What you do is stop engaging with her. You broke up 7 months ago. Just be done. All this nonsense about inappropriate pictures & testing one another seems more like immature garbage your kids would do in their fledging relationships. It's not things adults / parents do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Relationships need to progress and develop, and moving out was a huge step backwards. Now you are fighting over third parties and trying to score points... It is finished. Let it go. There is nothing left to salvage.BTW the seven year itch is a real thing. Your relationship is just time expired. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted February 28, 2021 Author Share Posted February 28, 2021 Why is she telling me she will still see me saturdays and take things slow but the has ignored me for 2 days ?? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Because she likes playing games. Having you on her hook is an ego boost. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Onlyafterdark said: i left 7 mnths ago , we carried on seeing each mainly saturdays, i noticed over the months he affection dwindling. Sorry to hear this. It's good you moved out with the space and kids situation. Why continue seeing each other after it's over? Edited February 28, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 1, 2021 Author Share Posted March 1, 2021 On 2/28/2021 at 2:55 PM, Wiseman2 said: Sorry to hear this. It's good you moved out with the space and kids situation. Why continue seeing each other after it's over? It wasnt over , we still carried on seeing each other. Im just so confused with her. Ive told her il sell my place and come back work on myself be a better partner. Shes very silent with me perhaps 1 email a day i get back. Im sending 5-7 and shes only saying she wants to take things slowly again and has no reason to be emailing me all the time. Shes really just making me feel non existent. Has agreed to meet me for a walk this week ?? any ladies shed some insight please Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 "let's start over and take things slow" means i'm dumping you but still want to keep you around until i find someone new. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 7, 2021 Author Share Posted March 7, 2021 So 2 weeks ago she said it was over , sent me messages just after this saying , whats wrong with friends , ask urself this one , you have not sorted urself out. So i asked to meet her. so few days after i ask her if we can meet up shes says yes. We talk in the end she says ok il try again but dunno if it will work, says she will email me next week to do something. i held her hand whilst driving she didnt pull away got a hug before she got out of the car. this morning emailed her got one reply and i emailed back saying hopefully next week can we meet have a starbucks etc. She aint replied so im still confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted March 7, 2021 Share Posted March 7, 2021 Sorry you are hurting and confused. But why are you doing this to yourself? If she wanted you 2 to be together then you would be together. It seems to me that she is either bored or does not want to hurt your feelings so she's being nice. Her heart is not in this. Let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 7, 2021 Share Posted March 7, 2021 You didn’t lose much. Block her on everything and let her go. She’s gone anyway. Why keep yourself in this losing game? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 8, 2021 Author Share Posted March 8, 2021 22 hours ago, Marc878 said: You didn’t lose much. Block her on everything and let her go. She’s gone anyway. Why keep yourself in this losing game? Well we met up saturday was driving home she said she would give it a go held her hand whilst driving , arranged to meet up this thurs for coffee. She emailed me today just asking about sumert to do with the internet, i emailed her back a couple of times and asked if she was serious about what she said saturday , no reply !! Asked to speak on the phone nothing Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2021 Share Posted March 8, 2021 You won't be done with her until you chose to stop letting her jerk your chain like this. It's not a relationship. It's you hoping & begging & her stringing you along 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 10, 2021 Author Share Posted March 10, 2021 On 3/8/2021 at 9:54 PM, d0nnivain said: You won't be done with her until you chose to stop letting her jerk your chain like this. It's not a relationship. It's you hoping & begging & her stringing you along I put this too her exactly what you said, told her i was done hanging on. Then she rings me says look im not talking to you because i want you to heal. To listen to me , im telling you friends because i want you to change and not jump straigh back into a big relationship. Thats her take on things. Told me she wont mess about with me its not over but wants ME to back off give her some space let her breath a bit. Take things slow Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 She's putting all this on you , what about her damn pictures and guy games and even far far more seriously , what about her complete lack of , in supporting you and your son. With you and him going through that she just turned it all around acted like a brat and made it all about her. And wth are you doing sending her 6 and 7emails a day when she's treating you like this ? Tell you who else needs to work on themselves , her , tell her that . l'm sorry but she sounds a lot worse to me , a terrible partner, and way not worth all this rubbish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 On 2/28/2021 at 6:19 AM, Onlyafterdark said: Why is she telling me she will still see me saturdays and take things slow but the has ignored me for 2 days ?? My guess is ego stroking or she's feeling guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 15, 2021 Author Share Posted March 15, 2021 So saturday we had drinks i stayed over attempted to engage in sex with her , she allowed me to hold her breast going to sleep and stroking her ass. Allowed me to put my hand just inside her panties but no further. Said to me a few days after and she keeps saying this ‘ friends, she needs to heal i need to change, im pushing her. She keeps saying shes trying to help me guide me. Its so confusing !!!! Plz ladies what is she really doing and saying Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 You didn’t listen to a thing. You are your biggest problem. Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 This thread is cringeworthy. I hate to see a grown man stoop to such extreme levels of desperation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 6 hours ago, Onlyafterdark said: we had drinks attempted to engage in sex with her. Don't try to have sex with a drunken woman. This encounter is creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted April 20, 2021 Author Share Posted April 20, 2021 So broke up 8 weeks ago, been blocked/ unblocked did all the txting etc every week during the week we have seen each other every saturday night ive stayed over cuddled her twice weve had sex. shes turned to me and said shes not lost attraction its what things i do.... by this i think it was the constant pressure and txting i did. the thing is its me who does 90 percent of the txts calls making attempts to see each other. Ive asked for another chance and although its me asking for hugs kisses she does do it but i can tell not fully there with it. shes leaving me so confused as to what she really wants Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 20, 2021 Share Posted April 20, 2021 14 minutes ago, Onlyafterdark said: i think it was the constant pressure and txting i did. .the thing is its me who does 90 percent of the txts calls making attempts to see each other. Ok, try not to suffocate her to this extreme. Step way back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Hello can i get some advice on my situation. So broke up Feb 2021 although she said lets be friends we have continued seeing each other. I have stayed over at hers every saturday and other days, ended up kissing having sex . The past 2-3 weeks she was beginning to hold my hand sitting close being generally more affectionate. Then last saturday we had a row mainly her doing and now back to square one. Shes gone back to hardly txting , no Kisses at the end of the txt. Not saying goodnight, i stayed over Saturday mainly me cuddling her i asked for a hug and kiss she kind of didnt reply. All shes told me is she wants to see changes in me ! No idea whats going on her head and although i ask she says nothing im just stuck in limbo Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, Onlyafterdark said: broke up Feb 2021 although she said lets be friends we have continued seeing each other. I have stayed over at hers every saturday and other days, ended up kissing having sex . How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? Is there someone else? FWB is always a limbo situation where confusion often leads to hurt in the long run. Opt out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 22 minutes ago, Onlyafterdark said: All shes told me is she wants to see changes in me ! Did she say what kiind of changes? Does she want more attention and commitment? Are you changing? Link to post Share on other sites
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