Blocked my ex and her daughter

[assertives]

That.. escalated quickly. There is alot of minimizing of your actions going on in your post. You shoved her when you were drunk during an argument and you tried to force sex. You know what that means right..? If she did not consent to sex or is too drunk to consent, that's rape or attempted rape. She is right and smart to not want to continue dealing with you or meeting you face to face for her own safety. 

I think you did her and her daughter a huge favor by blocking them and going no contact.

[Ric123]

45 minutes ago, assertives said:

That.. escalated quickly. There is alot of minimizing of your actions going on in your post. You shoved her when you were drunk during an argument and you tried to force sex. You know what that means right..? If she did not consent to sex or is too drunk to consent, that's rape or attempted rape. She is right and smart to not want to continue dealing with you or meeting you face to face for her own safety. 

I think you did her and her daughter a huge favor by blocking them and going no contact.

I know it sounds bad on paper but it really wasn't. I'm 39 years old, I wasn't born yesterday. I would have zero problem in admiting even right here if I had done really bad. Even today I feel she gaslighted me. And used the whole situation not to look bad for leaving me. Actually after everything she wasnt even angry. Her turning point was when I showed up at her house to talk. She was angry, saying why I can't wait she contacts me, she needed to think about things. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, assertives said:

. You shoved her when you were drunk during an argument and you tried to force sex. 

Yes, let go and delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Monitor your child's online activities better. 

Get to a physician and therapist for the moods and anger. If you have drinking or drug problems, get help for that.

[Gaeta]

A woman has the right to scream, break things around her, have a break down, curse, cheat, and all this without the fear of being hit or raped by her partner. You have a very distorted view if you think what she did justified you shoving her and attempting to rape her. What would you tell your daughter if one day she calls you crying that her boyfriend shoved her and undressed her by force with threats to rape her? 

Stay away from this woman and her children and seek professional help for your anger. One day you'll come across a woman that will take this very seriously and you will end up in jail and you'll lose your children's custody. Smarten up!

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, Ric123 said:

I know it sounds bad on paper but it really wasn't.

TO YOU...
When a grown women feels she needs to hide in the toilet, rather than face you, then you need to realise that a shove and an attempt to have "angry sex", is not nothing...
She was scared of you. You knew she was scared, yet you still try to minimise and blame her instead of yourself...
Get help.

[Miss Peach]

On 3/10/2021 at 6:26 AM, Ric123 said:

I want her back because I really enjoy being together with her my son and her daughter. We traveled together. 

I forgive what she did to me because I also did her wrong even tho I have apologise many times. We had one fight before she left me, I shoved her during her argument and she got scared. Even tho I would never hurt her, I'd take a bullet for her and her daughter. I'm Portuguese, bit of Latin  temper. Portuguese are hot headed, but in the of we like someone we give it all to them. 

Anyway, she is gone she hates me and probably has zero attraction. 

 

This sounds a lot like stuff my ex would say to me. At the same time I grew scared and anxious of him. I know he doesn't understand either why I broke it off and went no contact with him. I'm sure a year or more from now he still won't get it like you are.

On 3/11/2021 at 12:49 AM, Ric123 said:

I tried to talk to her a week later, I went to her house unannounced, she didn't open the door and freaked out.. Eventually she came outside with all my clothes and said its over that I attacked her and I'm acting crazy.. 2 weeks later when I was going to my normal day work, they fired me. I'm sure was my ex. I still chased her for a few months, but she said she would call the police.. This is all

My ex also did this and I called the police. This is way over the line IMO. I'm sure in my ex's head he needed to talk to me to fix things. But from my side it was scary and he was acting crazy. He also had keys to my house so luckily I was able to get them changed before he showed up.

On 3/10/2021 at 5:04 AM, Gaeta said:

You don't attract flies with vinegar. You blocked her and her children, how you think that made her children feel? 

I totally agree with this. Before you posted the other stuff I think the blocked message you sent sounded angry and bitter. I would have been thinking 'good riddance' rather than 'I let a good man go'.

On 3/10/2021 at 6:26 AM, Ric123 said:

I forgive what she did to me because I also did her wrong even tho I have apologise many times. We had one fight before she left me, I shoved her during her argument and she got scared. Even tho I would never hurt her, I'd take a bullet for her and her daughter. I'm Portuguese, bit of Latin  temper. Portuguese are hot headed, but in the of we like someone we give it all to them. 

Anyway, she is gone she hates me and probably has zero attraction. 

My ex grabbed my arm and blocked me from leaving. Things never felt the same to be after that. I never felt safe with him again and other things went with it like my desire for sex, my anxiety shot up, etc. This is not OK with any woman and should really be worked on when you're on your own.

 

FWIW I don't hate my ex but I definitely felt scared for awhile. But I do see him as someone who I don't want for acting like this even though the good stuff from our relationship was really good. 

[vla1120]

On 3/11/2021 at 3:49 AM, Ric123 said:

Then I tried to remove her clothes, I was a bit drunk and so was her.

Drunkeness is no excuse for sexual assault and that's what this was.

On 3/11/2021 at 3:30 AM, Ric123 said:

Once I called her from the outside, asked if she wanted to come outside to say hi, she answered no need. Very cruel.

You think HER behavior was cruel?

On 3/11/2021 at 3:49 AM, Ric123 said:

I still chased her for a few months, but she said she would call the police.. This is all

All of this would have been more than enough for me, too. You're very lucky she did not press charges against you for sexually assaulting her.

I'm just really shocked that you admit your behavior like there's nothing wrong with the way you treated her. Now, you've involved your innocent son and her innocent daughter because you can't keep your temper in check. If I were her, I would not want you to have any contact with my daughter, either. You better talk to someone and get some help with your anger issues and lay off the alcohol if it causes you to think it's okay to try to remove a woman's clothing against her will. 

I suspect my post will be removed for "attacking" you, but really. I'm just stunned at your gross lack of self-awareness.

[Ric123]

On 3/15/2021 at 6:49 PM, Miss Peach said:

 

This sounds a lot like stuff my ex would say to me. At the same time I grew scared and anxious of him. I know he doesn't understand either why I broke it off and went no contact with him. I'm sure a year or more from now he still won't get it like you are.

My ex also did this and I called the police. This is way over the line IMO. I'm sure in my ex's head he needed to talk to me to fix things. But from my side it was scary and he was acting crazy. He also had keys to my house so luckily I was able to get them changed before he showed up.

I totally agree with this. Before you posted the other stuff I think the blocked message you sent sounded angry and bitter. I would have been thinking 'good riddance' rather than 'I let a good man go'.

My ex grabbed my arm and blocked me from leaving. Things never felt the same to be after that. I never felt safe with him again and other things went with it like my desire for sex, my anxiety shot up, etc. This is not OK with any woman and should really be worked on when you're on your own.

 

FWIW I don't hate my ex but I definitely felt scared for awhile. But I do see him as someone who I don't want for acting like this even though the good stuff from our relationship was really good. 

She chose to leave me, I apologised many times. I wanted to be with her and the kids but she closed the door on me forever. No need for her daughter and my son to keep in touch. She made her choice, she doesn't get to have a window to the world she left behind. 

[Negotaurus]

I don't see why your kids had to pay. They're 10 and 13, they're not stupid. My mother would be controlling my friends (there was nothing wrong with them) when I was young, guess what, I still hold resentment, I do not trust her thanks to many actions like these. 

if you struggle, tell your child to go to a different room. They have nothing to do with your heartache. They don't have to pay because you can't deal with it.

[ExpatInItaly]

Good grief, you badly need help, OP.

Stop hiding behind the excuse of your nationality. It has zero to do with your abuse. 

[Ric123]

1 hour ago, Negotaurus said:

I don't see why your kids had to pay. They're 10 and 13, they're not stupid. My mother would be controlling my friends (there was nothing wrong with them) when I was young, guess what, I still hold resentment, I do not trust her thanks to many actions like these. 

if you struggle, tell your child to go to a different room. They have nothing to do with your heartache. They don't have to pay because you can't deal with it.

No contact is no contact. Kids friendship while her mother disrespect me and ignores me is a bad way to go. Kids friendship is  a backdoor for contact. There shouldn't be any, she made her choice to leave, I didn't want this. 

[Ric123]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Good grief, you badly need help, OP.

Stop hiding behind the excuse of your nationality. It has zero to do with your abuse. 

My ex does kickboxing, she brags she prefers bone cracking to massage and she pulled a knife during an argument with a father of her daughter. I'm sure she was terrified when I pushed her in bed...

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Ric123 said:

I'm sure she was terrified when I pushed her in bed...

It's over. You abused her and she's done. Your kids should be tools or pawns in  your get your ex back plans.

[vla1120]

1 hour ago, Ric123 said:

My ex does kickboxing, she brags she prefers bone cracking to massage and she pulled a knife during an argument with a father of her daughter. I'm sure she was terrified when I pushed her in bed...

Nope. You don't get a free pass for your poor behavior because of her past behavior. She probably wasn't "terrified" when you pushed her in bed, but she also wasn't going to excuse your behavior and leave herself open for a repeat (or escalation) of that behavior.

[Miss Peach]

5 hours ago, Ric123 said:

She chose to leave me, I apologised many times. I wanted to be with her and the kids but she closed the door on me forever. 

My ex is telling people the same story. He doesn't have kids so I'm not exactly in the same situation. But it really doesn't sound like you 'get' why she closed the door like that. I'm sure my ex doesn't get it either as I know at least two other women he's done similar with prior to me that I didn't know about previously. I really doubt he's learned still and will take it to the next woman too. I really urge you to look at your own behavior here so you don't do this in your next relationship and be stuck in the same thing.

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, Ric123 said:

My ex does kickboxing, she brags she prefers bone cracking to massage and she pulled a knife during an argument with a father of her daughter. I'm sure she was terrified when I pushed her in bed...

So? This has nothing to do with how scared she might have been (or not)

Your behaviour is unacceptable. Full stop. 

You are full of excuses and, frankly, it's quite disturbing. 

Edited March 18, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[Negotaurus]

15 hours ago, Miss Peach said:

My ex is telling people the same story. He doesn't have kids so I'm not exactly in the same situation. But it really doesn't sound like you 'get' why she closed the door like that. I'm sure my ex doesn't get it either as I know at least two other women he's done similar with prior to me that I didn't know about previously. I really doubt he's learned still and will take it to the next woman too. I really urge you to look at your own behavior here so you don't do this in your next relationship and be stuck in the same thing.

This!

My ex is the same. He was abusive, mean, and in the end somehow he was still the victim and "trying so hard". 

OP,  instead of brushing off what everybody says and coming up with more excuses and turning it around on somebody else, take a deep look at yourself and really think about what the hell has happened. You can do better, if you want to.