After 15 years.

[Anneb90]

I’m 30, been going through some things lately. When I was 16 I met this guy, couple of years later we started texting and hanging out. I was 18-19 and a bit naive, he was 23. Needless to say, the timing was off, I had a lot to growing up to do. Fast forward 5 years, he messaged me on FB wanting to hang out, and catch up. I said no a couple of times because he would ask for the same day, instead of giving me warning so I was never prepared. Now fast forward 6 more years, I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s not to say it’s love, but somewhat unrequited. I always wonder if it was now, what would come of it. I’ve thought of messaging him just to kind of put it out there, but seems so bizarre. I don’t want to look desperate or pathetic, I want it to come off sounding casual yet defining. What do you guys think? Will he think I’m crazy? I’ve always wanted to delete my FB, but always kept it in case he ever reached out again. I just need some guidance. Please be gentle.

[chillii]

At the 5yr time why didn't you just say yeah you'd really like to but can we make it in a few days or with a bit of notice.

At any rate to contact him now , why not , better than never knowing and wondering forever, But if he's on fb first thing try finding out if he's with someone or married or whatever first, most people have that stuff plastered all over it , not on it myself won't use it but l've seen it. But if he isn't hell yeah think of something to write and say hello why not. He'll probably respond in some way and if by chance it didn't go well then really, so it goes , at least you've finally found out and you'll be in a far far better place and peace to move on with your own life.  Good luck anyway.

Edited March 13, 2021 by chillii

[Stromae]

I think it’s fine to reach out if that’s what you truly want, but I would also reflect a bit on if you are more curious about him versus the idea of him. 

That said you have nothing to really lose and it seems like you may regret or second guess not reaching out - so if your heart is telling you to then go for it. 

[goldengirl11]

Anneb90, I just wanted to say that I understand where you're coming from, and can really sympathise with your situation. I am in my early 40's.

I was (am) in a similar boat myself, which has made a huge impact on me. I often think about this person, even though he has clearly moved on i.e no response to messages the last few years.

I hope he comes back one day, but that doesn't make me feel much better tbh, as I feel that I am mainly to blame for the 'break up' for similar reasons I guess and feel that I potentially could've been his new wife with kids.😢 It's heartbreaking, but I'm trying to gain perspective.

Wish you the best of luck!

Edited March 17, 2021 by goldengirl11