Mmeebb Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago over something pretty trivial. We never really cut contact, maybe for about a week and that was all.... About a month later, we started talking again. We act like a couple, we’ve talked about getting back together. We’ve talked about moving into a new house together— we hang out and act like we are still together, constantly. We’ve been(were) together for 5 years. But, a few weeks ago, his friend from high school texted him (whom he’s seen like 1-2 times in the past 8 years) that his friend is getting a new place in Boston and needed a roommate and said he can live there and only pay $900/mo versus the average rent in that area being like $2500-3000 (he would just be paying the taxes to stay). Boston is 14 hours away. My ex/bf is now VERY strongly considering this option and is planning to put his house on the market in 2 weeks. And just go. He said “ I don’t know if it’s the right decision or not. It would be exciting to have this opportunity to live the city life and all of the job prospects”. Meanwhile, we are still discussing ‘our future’ and moving to a different city nearer to the beach. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like the day his house goes on the market (if it does) , and it’s before “our timeframe” then obviously it means he’s made the decision to move to Boston. At that point should I completely cut off contact with him? Should I give a reason why or explain my reasoning or just totally drop him at that point because he ‘made that decision’ to leave me behind? I feel like keeping contact would just make it easier for him in Boston and more difficult for me being here. And contact would maybe keep me “hoping” he will come back sooner than later (there is no rental lease for him). Link to post Share on other sites
assertives Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 How old are the both of you? If you guys are serious about a future together, now is a good time to discuss your future in tandem with this opportunity and weigh out the options together. If there's no commitment to be together in the future, or he says he don't know or doesn't want to talk about it, then I'd say it's time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 Why did you break up, OP? 5 years is a long time to end it over something trivial, so I am wondering what issues existed between you two. That might help to contextualize his current desire to move away and start over, so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 Have you told him you want him to stay? What is your vision of the future? If he thinks there is nothing for him where you are, then I can see why this Boston adventure looks interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mmeebb Posted March 11, 2021 Author Share Posted March 11, 2021 We realized that our argument and breakup was over is both trying to figure out ‘where we are going’. And given the breakup, we both realized, we had brought up moving away a couple of times. We just both feel stuck here in the small city we are in. There aren’t enough opportunities. And we realized that we couldn’t figure out what our next step was because it was going to anchor us ‘here’. I did tell him that I don’t want him to move. We are 31 and 27 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 Sorry this is happening. What was the breakup about? Unfortunately he seems to have one foot out the door, whether he moves or not. Try not to get strung along in a FWB situation hoping to reconcile. Step way back from this. Link to post Share on other sites
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