Roses777 Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 (edited) Hey hey. So I was with my ex and she showed so many weird quirks from our 3-4 year relationship. Even at the very beginning, she once told me she was coming over so I waited all night, tried calling her to confirm she was on her way, etc. She never showed up. She was always worried about what other people thought and would say the clothes I wore made her look bad, my job was not enough, etc. Around the 2 year mark, she found a cute guy at work and added him to her Facebook. She was going to come over but then dumped me and dated him for a month or so and then started hanging out with me behind his back (she thought they were done, I guess?). So that started another year of dating. She always wanted to review /every last photo/ we took of each other together and the photos I took of her. She also was paranoid and checked my phone's messages before wanting to get back together. Highly unusual behaviour. She would also get angry over trivial things like disagreements and run out of the room or pretend not to hear me in conversations, etc. All classic signs of narcissist behaviour. Fast forward to last month, 6 days before Valentine's Day. She went from being here the entire weekend to only seeing me for like 4 hours on Sunday and then going back home (she quit her job during a pandemic, even!!). I was not happy with this and knew what was going on. She comes over, giving me Christmas gifts TWO MONTHS after Christmas, telling me she has started video-chatting guys and went on a date the previous night. Her date kissed her. I was shocked and in the FOG and this news bothered me for the next two days. I just texted her saying I wanted our weekends back and wasn't happy with her behaviour. So I had dumped her. She apologized for 'all of the pain' that she has caused me. Huh? So she put me on ignore after we had a videochat two days later. I guess she thought I was going to be crying or angry but I was ready after she was distant for 3-4 weeks, only giving me 4h a weekend for friendship-like-hangouts. She doesn't have enough money to move out and get an apartment and/or go back to school to become a teacher (her dream job). She also has 3 cats so it will be really hard for her to find an apartment that will allow her to have pets. (Most here don't.) Remember, she quit her job during a pandemic AND her mom decided before Christmas when her dad returned that she would serve him papers before he returned to his job in the USA. She was an ECE and got caught throwing a toy at a kid that kicked her and almost lost her ability to work as an ECE. That is her only qualification and she refuses to work at retail, thinking it is minimum wage and beneath her. So I dumped her on the February 9th and she returned yesterday (March 12th) being super nice and asking for her 'things back sometime'. She no longer has access to the house as I changed the lock with some help out of concern she would start taking things of mine back with her. As far as I know, she does not have anyone new as she is still on Plentyoffish datng and her Leo ex isn't on her Facebook. Is she honestly just returning to get her things or she is trying to get me back? She doesn't seem to be talking anymore and stopped (for now) after laughing at my messages. Edited March 13, 2021 by Roses777 more info Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 Box her things and put them on your front step. What she wants is irrelevant. This woman is toxic and has no respect for you. Your next job is to figure out why you let her manipulate you and walk all over you for a big 4 years. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 55 minutes ago, Roses777 said: Is she honestly just returning to get her things or she is trying to get me back? You dumped her, remember? With good reason. Take her at face value. Give her her stuff back & move on. Even if she does want you back, you don't need or want to be her fall back position after the way she treated you. But you also don't need her stuff cluttering up your house. So be done. The sooner you get this over with the more completely you can purge her from your life. If you approach this thinking she wants you back, you will be hurt all over again when she doesn't or in a few weeks / months when she reverts to the behavior that caused you to end things in the 1st place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Roses777 Posted March 13, 2021 Author Share Posted March 13, 2021 12 hours ago, Gaeta said: Box her things and put them on your front step. What she wants is irrelevant. This woman is toxic and has no respect for you. Your next job is to figure out why you let her manipulate you and walk all over you for a big 4 years. Honestly, we were mostly fine until COVID-19 shutdown the gyms and everything. I noticed she started to do little things like switch her profile photo from being ours to just her, our mental health suffered from the lack of exercise and the stress of the shutdown, etc. It was by no means a perfect relationship but she did spend literally almost everyday with me for most of our relationship. It sucks because it was not only losing my girlfriend but my best friend as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 15 hours ago, Roses777 said: Honestly, we were mostly fine until COVID-19 shutdown the gyms and everything. I noticed she started to do little things like switch her profile photo from being ours to just her, our mental health suffered from the lack of exercise and the stress of the shutdown, etc. It was by no means a perfect relationship but she did spend literally almost everyday with me for most of our relationship. It sucks because it was not only losing my girlfriend but my best friend as well. She treated you badly before Covid. So Covid amplified the already disrespect she had for you. Yes it's hard and it sucks, I am 3 months out of a 5 year relationship. You will be fine and most importantly you will find a better someone for yourself next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 Box her crap up and ship it back to her... I lived with one woman and I found a bunch of her crap (about a month later) in one of my closets (all the way in the back). I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I boxed it up and utilized UPS. I added a note not to contact me, that this package was not an attempt to "reach out" or "re-open lines of communication". Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 (edited) Is the Leo thing supposed to have some kind relevance here. What does that mean. Anyway, she could just want her things back but I agree with the other people to just mail them to her. It’s not a huge issue Edited March 15, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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