Ex trying to get her 'life settled' and isn't ready.

[SingleDad82]

My ex and I have been in a relationship for over 3 years. We integrated our kids lives together and were on the verge of marriage. It was the most loving and rewarding relationship I've ever been in.

Suddenly, in the last year her mental health took a turn for the worse. She battles severe depression and after trying to stay together through it and staying by her side for Dr. appointments, adjustments to medications, and all the host of emotional rollercoaster that comes with that came to the conclusion that she was really relying more on me to fix her issues than she was willing to. She always loved me so much and was good to me. But would have rage outbursts and became very volatile in those moments. I had made the tough decision that, if I ever hoped to one day have a future with this girl, I was going to have to step away from the relationship and remove myself from the situation so that she could get the real help she needed.

That was nearly 4 months ago. Since then, I decided to work on myself. I entered therapy and uncovered some codependent behavior that made me feel like absolute sh*t when she wasn't getting well when we were together. I took on on the responsibility for her slow improvement. I often thought I wasn't "good enough to change for" or that I "wasn't good enough to fix her" or she just "wasn't happy with me."

Looking back I know I made the right decision for stepping back. It really was because I had hope for the future, and I knew the on and off again toxic cycle needed to be broken. 

Since that time, we have reconnected just at the beginning of last week. We spent two nights just sitting in my truck together, talking about everything under the sun. Just enjoying each others company. She couldnt keep her hands off me and there was a lot of kissing and holding. Nothing sexual at all. It was just really nice. We also started taking our daily walks together again (something we always did since her building is walking distance from me.) I was over the moon excited at the reconnection. I thought we were on the road to reconciliation.

Just a few days later she told me she thought we were "moving too fast and needed to slow down" and that she felt like we "just jumped back in too quickly". The communication also slowed, and then she stopped responding for a few days altogether. 

She is just getting back to work from her medical leave of absence dealing with her depression, etc. She is also in the middle of a move into a new apartment. All of that outside the stresses of our regular relationship. I decided to give her space. I told her in a text that I was going to respect her need for the time apart and told myself it as time to re-enter radio silence for a while and continue to work on myself. 

in brief as an explanation she told me in a text that "I have a lot of recovering to do in myself", "I'm no where that I should be or could be right now", "Please don't take this as being cut off or anything like that, I just have to do this for myself right now", and "I just feel hints of how I felt last December, and I don't know why, I just have so much going on right now. I need to get my life settled, It's been a mess the last 4 months." December was a very hard time for her. So I know she is still working on herself and trying to get well.

I told her I appreciated the explanation and with her being vulnerable and told her I'd be here for her if she needed me. 

I want to be patient with her. I love her dearly and I feel like she is my person. I think the breakup needed to happen for us to both learn and grow where we both contributed to the problems in the relationship. But, I am trying to stay hopeful in the fact that we one day may reconcile. But, I am unsure how to approach this. Is she just letting me down easy? Or is this a genuine attempt to me transparent and care for me?