Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 46 minutes ago, Bittersweetie said: So wait...you want to enter a business partnership with a man who has slapped your bottom numerous times in front of his wife? Good grief. Step away from this man, I don't see anything positive coming from these interactions, professional or personal. Not a partnership just share some ideas and get opinions, like I mentioned before this sort of behavior from men is unfortunately very common in the work place and women have to work around it all the time. Just because they don’t talk about it openly doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Yes, some are very professional but in my experience and many of my friends all have similar stories. The men do pretty much what they want regardless of how women behave and women also are to blame because the say one thing and do another too. We have not changed all that much, change takes time. Decades have past and we are still talking about the same issues. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 Not to say that it doesn’t happen because unfortunately, we all know that it does... but you talk of this like it is something one must just accept, that one must find a way to work with these men - and that is not true. Depending on your workplace, there are rules and laws that are meant to prevent this kind of behavior. And, if you are self employed, you most definitely have the ability to chose the people with whom you associate. Respectfully, your story has changed from I want to date this man, to I don’t want to date this man and I feel sorry for his wife, to I want to punish this man, to I’m doing research to help me to learn how to work with such men... Its very evident that you are interested, and apparently trying to find a way to stay in contact with this man. As we are saying, you would be wise to stay away from such a man who is so clearly disrespectful and untrustworthy. Take that advice or leave it - your decision. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 5 hours ago, KittieKat said: I’m interested in learning more from this situation as it helps me understand and learn how to work with this type of person in the future. Learn what sexual harassment is. Learn appropriate boundaries in work settings. Learn to look for red flag and deal breakers. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 23 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Not to say that it doesn’t happen because unfortunately, we all know that it does... but you talk of this like it is something one must just accept, that one must find a way to work with these men - and that is not true. Depending on your workplace, there are rules and laws that are meant to prevent this kind of behavior. And, if you are self employed, you most definitely have the ability to chose the people with whom you associate. Respectfully, your story has changed from I want to date this man, to I don’t want to date this man and I feel sorry for his wife, to I want to punish this man, to I’m doing research to help me to learn how to work with such men... Its very evident that you are interested, and apparently trying to find a way to stay in contact with this man. As we are saying, you would be wise to stay away from such a man who is so clearly disrespectful and untrustworthy. Take that advice or leave it - your decision. Yes it seems like my story is changing and mixed up. I will research all the suggestions and advice given here. Hopefully this post will help others see what’s been going on in today’s dating/work environment. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 3 hours ago, KittieKat said: Hopefully this post will help others see what’s been going on in today’s dating/work environment. Ideally, if that were considered an oxymoron, there wouldn't be an issue to begin with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 9 hours ago, KittieKat said: I don’t have to flirt at all, as I I mentioned before I’m very professional in my conversations with him and in my texts. I haven’t suggested anything whatsoever, he said he would call me to discuss further and instead last minute cancels the call earlier in the day saying he’d touch base in a few hours but never followed up, two days have gone by so far. He doesn’t have to worry about his wife in this scenario it’s just a phone call about business. So again why is he playing this game, one thing is to play it for his personal fun but I’m showing interest in a business matter. I texted him regarding business not pleasure. Then STOP being so close to him that he can whisper in your ear! stand back! State the reason why the business can happen - and approach him like it’s a business deal! the reason you haven’t gotten the business deal is because YOU have allowed the personal flirting to muddy the waters in business. stick to business only. If he says we can take this to another level - simply say “that’s not my intention - my intention is business only” stop allowing the conversation to be anything personal! keep your distance. And look for other business prospects... my bet is - he’s not interested as much in business with you unless he can also get laid. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 On 3/17/2021 at 3:30 AM, KittieKat said: Hi, I’m interested in dating a married man. The problem is he flirts when we are socially together among friends, he suggests getting together when in person and via texting but then he cancels last minute even a scheduled phone call about a new business project. Does anyone know what’s going on? This last time he said- I think I’m getting a cold, we may need to reschedule. I’ll touch base in a few hours. He hasn’t called to update or reschedule yet. Thank you. KittieKat He's a timewaster. He's out for the chase and that's all. He likes the idea of it and nothing more, all voice and no action. Move on. You don't want to get mixed up with this dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 4 hours ago, KittieKat said: Hopefully this post will help others see what’s been going on in today’s dating/work environment. Hopefully inappropriate men are starting to register on your creepometer now. 👹 Whether at work or dating. At work inappropriate creeps fall under the heading of sexual harassment. In the dating world it's as simple as delete and block. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 4 hours ago, KittieKat said: like I mentioned before this sort of behavior from men is unfortunately very common in the work place and women have to work around it all the time. J I’m sorry but with respect what world are you living in ? while I understand and agree there are people out there with little or no respect for women in the workplace or otherwise and push boundaries In my experience I think your statement that women have to work around it “all the time “is inaccurate. I do however think that sadly there are women and sometimes men who want a business deal so badly they will lower their standards and boundaries, acting unprofessionally and then complain the other person acted inappropriately. If you want to do business do business , cross the line or muddy the water by getting into anything personal rarely ends well - 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Seliana Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 20 hours ago, KittieKat said: It’s not a laughing matter, many think we write here to have fun or something. We are real people with real feelings. The behavior here is often similar to the abuse one is already complaining about rather than helpful. I find your indignant outrage here as not being treated like a real person with feeling hilarious, you seem to forget his wife and kids are real people with real feelings. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, KittieKat said: I don’t have to flirt at all, as I I mentioned before I’m very professional in my conversations with him and in my texts. I haven’t suggested anything whatsoever, he said he would call me to discuss further and instead last minute cancels the call earlier in the day saying he’d touch base in a few hours but never followed up, two days have gone by so far. He doesn’t have to worry about his wife in this scenario it’s just a phone call about business. So again why is he playing this game, one thing is to play it for his personal fun but I’m showing interest in a business matter. I texted him regarding business not pleasure. This man's personal demeanor makes him unsuitable as a business partner. Time to ditch him. If he really wanted to be involved with you in a business sense, losing the opportunity is the perfect outcome for him. Edited March 18, 2021 by basil67 4 Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 3 hours ago, Snakesalive said: I’m sorry but with respect what world are you living in ? while I understand and agree there are people out there with little or no respect for women in the workplace or otherwise and push boundaries In my experience I think your statement that women have to work around it “all the time “is inaccurate. I do however think that sadly there are women and sometimes men who want a business deal so badly they will lower their standards and boundaries, acting unprofessionally and then complain the other person acted inappropriately. If you want to do business do business , cross the line or muddy the water by getting into anything personal rarely ends well - I have to agree with you on this point @SnakesaliveI am one of the very fortunate few who has not experienced sexual harassment either at work or anywhere else. I read the most awful catalogue of things going on to women especially on social media but I have no experience of it. I don't know why. I lived my life like most people, I don't live in a remote place. Yes I've had crap relationships etc but I haven't experienced half of what I hear going on. I have never had to 'work around' anything at work and I worked in huge corporate firms in London where you would expect it to happen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: This man's personal demeanor makes him unsuitable as a business partner. Time to ditch him. If he really wanted to be involved with you in a business sense, losing the opportunity is the perfect outcome for him. Thanks that sounds good to me too. People seem to concentrate on the part that I like him but I could take it or leave it. Not a big deal to me. I know the wife has feelings, she has her concerns and issue with him too. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: This man's personal demeanor makes him unsuitable as a business partner. Time to ditch him. If he really wanted to be involved with you in a business sense, losing the opportunity is the perfect outcome for him. I agree with you basil. It would be the perfect outcome. That said, I don’t know that he is seriously interested in doing business with OP. A person who is serious about pursuing a business opportunity would not behave in this way. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 3 minutes ago, KittieKat said: People seem to concentrate on the part that I like him but I could take it or leave it. That was the original purpose of this post. You were interested in dating this man and the business meeting was the example you gave, in seeking to understand why he flirts with you and then backs away... Quote I’m interested in dating a married man. The problem is he flirts when we are socially together among friends, he suggests getting together when in person and via texting but then he cancels last minute even a scheduled phone call about a new business project. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 6 minutes ago, NYAG said: I have to agree with you on this point @SnakesaliveI am one of the very fortunate few who has not experienced sexual harassment either at work or anywhere else. I read the most awful catalogue of things going on to women especially on social media but I have no experience of it. I don't know why. I lived my life like most people, I don't live in a remote place. Yes I've had crap relationships etc but I haven't experienced half of what I hear going on. I have never had to 'work around' anything at work and I worked in huge corporate firms in London where you would expect it to happen. 7 minutes ago, NYAG said: I have to agree with you on this point @SnakesaliveI am one of the very fortunate few who has not experienced sexual harassment either at work or anywhere else. I read the most awful catalogue of things going on to women especially on social media but I have no experience of it. I don't know why. I lived my life like most people, I don't live in a remote place. Yes I've had crap relationships etc but I haven't experienced half of what I hear going on. I have never had to 'work around' anything at work and I worked in huge corporate firms in London where you would expect it to happen. I’m not crossing the line, he is though. I have a choice to try to work with him or not, he’s the foolish one and not correct. This behavior is real and very common unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 4 minutes ago, BaileyB said: That was the original purpose of this post. You were interested in dating this man and the business meeting was the example you gave, in seeking to understand why he flirts with you and then backs away... Yes this is true, I like him up to point, but I also have interest in discussing a business plan. What’s so wrong with that at least I’m very clear and open about it. He’s the one that’s playing around with both his wife and me. In the end he is living a fantasy and lie. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 Just now, KittieKat said: Yes this is true, I like him up to point, but I also have interest in discussing a business plan. What’s so wrong with that at least I’m very clear and open about it. He’s the one that’s playing around with both his wife and me. In the end he is living a fantasy and lie. But are you STILL interested in discussing a business plan with a guy who doesn't treat you as a business partner? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 Just now, basil67 said: But are you STILL interested in discussing a business plan with a guy who doesn't treat you as a business partner? Yes it’s not a partnership I’m looking for it’s just a conversation, that’s it. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 37 minutes ago, KittieKat said: I’m not crossing the line, he is though. I have a choice to try to work with him or not, he’s the foolish one and not correct. This behavior is real and very common unfortunately. In an earlier post you said you’d like the idea of something more -do you really think this is not crossing the line ? IMO you’re on real shaky ground here it sounds like if he was willing you would be too -have I got that right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 18, 2021 Author Share Posted March 18, 2021 2 minutes ago, Snakesalive said: In an earlier post you said you’d like the idea of something more -do you really think this is not crossing the line ? IMO you’re on real shaky ground here it sounds like if he was willing you would be too -have I got that right? Yes Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 49 minutes ago, KittieKat said: Yes it’s not a partnership I’m looking for it’s just a conversation, that’s it. Well, he's unsuitable for that too, as the type of conversation you want isn't the kind he wants. Walk away from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 19, 2021 Share Posted March 19, 2021 10 minutes ago, basil67 said: Well, he's unsuitable for that too, as the type of conversation you want isn't the kind he wants. Walk away from him. Oh, but as said above, she really wants to date him. Which is why, it’s important that she continue to chat with the man about work... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 19, 2021 Author Share Posted March 19, 2021 2 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Oh, but as said above, she really wants to date him. Which is why, it’s important that she continue to chat with the man about work... Yes that is true too Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 19, 2021 Share Posted March 19, 2021 @KittieKat if it's true that you want to date him, what's with all your complaints about this being symptomatic of broad spread sexual harassment in the workplace? Or your desire for revenge? Or the disrespect for his wife? If you really thought his behaviour was bad, you wouldn't be into him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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