elaine567 Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 (edited) She posted to find advice as to how to make sure he turns up the next time he makes plans with her. How to make sure he falls for her charms. He ignited her interest but now is either playing hard to get or some other game so she wants to know how to reel him in. Her ego was on a high. This guy so obviously married was besotted with her and that is a big ego boost. He is willing to risk his marriage for her, so she must therefore be sooo special... She is obviously so much better than the wife, so is bound to win. Nothing better than playing a game with the odds stacked in your favour.. BUT... Edited March 20, 2021 by elaine567 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 7 minutes ago, elaine567 said: She posted to find advice as to how to make sure he turns up the next time he makes plans with her. He ignited her interest but now is either playing hard to get or some other game so she wants to know how to reel him in. She had and still has every intention to follow through...If she is confused, it is only because he has failed to close the deal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 23 minutes ago, KittieKat said: I post for the same reasons the others post, I don’t see anyone else making their final decision so concretely or immediately. Most of the others on here aren’t trying to figure out whether to get into a relationship with an MM. Most are trying to figure out how to get out. They are trying to advise you not to do it, knowing the pain it causes. But I suppose some of us have to learn the hard way. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, jah526 said: Most of the others on here aren’t trying to figure out whether to get into a relationship with an MM. Most are trying to figure out how to get out. Indeed, some post for years... having wasted years of their lives on these relationships, in counselling, and then trying to rebuild their lives. You are welcome to do the same OP, assuming that you are not able to make a concrete or immediate decision now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 20, 2021 Author Share Posted March 20, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: She posted to find advice as to how to make sure he turns up the next time he makes plans with her. How to make sure he falls for her charms. He ignited her interest but now is either playing hard to get or some other game so she wants to know how to reel him in. Her ego was on a high. This guy so obviously married was besotted with her and that is a big ego boost. He is willing to risk his marriage for her, so she must therefore be sooo special... She is obviously so much better than the wife, so is bound to win. Nothing better than playing a game with the odds stacked in your favour.. BUT... I like your post, it’s seems like a good description to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 20, 2021 Author Share Posted March 20, 2021 46 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Indeed, some post for years... having wasted years of their lives on these relationships, in counselling, and then trying to rebuild their lives. You are welcome to do the same OP, assuming that you are not able to make a concrete or immediate decision now. 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: She had and still has every intention to follow through...If she is confused, it is only because he has failed to close the deal. I guess it’s the infatuation part that makes it difficult to decide and of course the ego boost. Ego is fed many ways but when it gets stuck on one particular case or situation it’s hard to let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: She is obviously so much better than the wife, so is bound to win Hmm you could be right , the fact he’s creating so many opportunities to see her , sticking to arrangements he’s made , telling her he can’t wait to be with her ... ah that’s right he’s not doing any of these things -just lots of banal chat and flirting ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 20, 2021 Author Share Posted March 20, 2021 17 minutes ago, Snakesalive said: Hmm you could be right , the fact he’s creating so many opportunities to see her , sticking to arrangements he’s made , telling her he can’t wait to be with her ... ah that’s right he’s not doing any of these things -just lots of banal chat and flirting ... That’s why we need to see what happens next, his call too. That’s what’s exciting about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 1 minute ago, KittieKat said: That’s why we need to see what happens next, his call too. That’s what’s exciting about it. Wow you really are something else - I hope you’ll take this in the spirit it’s meant Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 20, 2021 Author Share Posted March 20, 2021 8 minutes ago, Snakesalive said: Wow you really are something else - I hope you’ll take this in the spirit it’s meant 8 minutes ago, Snakesalive said: Wow you really are something else - I hope you’ll take this in the spirit it’s meant I’m open to take it in the spirit it’s meant Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 15 hours ago, KittieKat said: I think there’s a negative tone here about the other women and it’s okay I guess but they have their feelings and are willing to discuss it. Where as the guys just go about their business with no concerns for either wives nor the side girlfriends. Ah, no, actually there's just a bit of a negative tone WRT MMs here as well. Just so you are aware... 3 hours ago, KittieKat said: Of course it’s better for me to take the time here and discuss, then just going ahead with it. That’s the point of these forums etc. Hmm. As everyone around here knows and as I think YOU already know, the VAST majority of the time this doesn't end well, even if "does" there tends to be a lot of collateral damage, and this guy seems like he's very clearly just being a player. Seems to me you've been fairly warned. What is it about the situation that's making it difficult to let go for you? You want to "win"? What would that even look like - sex in a motel room? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 20, 2021 Author Share Posted March 20, 2021 4 minutes ago, mark clemson said: Ah, no, actually there's just a bit of a negative tone WRT MMs here as well. Just so you are aware... Hmm. As everyone around here knows and as I think YOU already know, the VAST majority of the time this doesn't end well, even if "does" there tends to be a lot of collateral damage, and this guy seems like he's very clearly just being a player. Seems to me you've been fairly warned. What is it about the situation that's making it difficult to let go for you? You want to "win"? What would that even look like - sex in a motel room? Not sure yet, maybe, I haven’t thought about that yet. To win is to gain so not sure how I would feel. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 Your time would be better spent with a skilled therapist finding out why you would consider any married man. why settle for so little? Why this illusion that he might be a good choice? what is broken inside of you that morally you would be fine stealing the time and energy of a man who commuted himself to someone else already? find that out about yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 37 minutes ago, KittieKat said: Not sure yet, maybe, I haven’t thought about that yet. To win is to gain so not sure how I would feel. Gain what, exactly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 20, 2021 Author Share Posted March 20, 2021 5 hours ago, Minneloa said: Gain what, exactly? That’s to he determined Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 21, 2021 Share Posted March 21, 2021 9 hours ago, KittieKat said: That’s to he determined What kind of education are you looking for through this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Nats_16 Posted March 21, 2021 Share Posted March 21, 2021 You are 99% playing with fire and going to get burned. Situations like this spiral out of your control very very quickly, one day you think you’ve got a hold on your feelings and the next you will wish you didn’t have any. Please take my advice and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, nothing good will come of this. If he wanted to be with you then and was prepared for the carnage that comes with leaving a marriage for you then trust me he would. He is enjoying the ego rub, stop giving it to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie Moo Posted March 21, 2021 Share Posted March 21, 2021 Do you know what really constitutes ‘winning’ in this situation. Walking away. Giving up the chase. Not interacting with him anymore. Not giving him another thought or moment of your time and energy. Sticking to your morals (if one of them is not getting involved with someone else’s fella) and keeping your self worth and self esteem intact. The initial highs, endorphin rushes and excitement of an affair are not worth the guilt, the shame, the heartache, the anxiety, the worry, the hurt caused to others and the total destruction of how you view yourself. But if none of that worries you then go right ahead and try ‘Win’ him. Sounds like a prize catch to me 🤦♀️ 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 21, 2021 Author Share Posted March 21, 2021 4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: What kind of education are you looking for through this situation? I think I’m looking to see how it would feel to connect and then how it would feel to disconnect, since that would naturally follow according to everyone here. I guess it’s the unknown that is making this exciting to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 21, 2021 Author Share Posted March 21, 2021 4 hours ago, Nats_16 said: You are 99% playing with fire and going to get burned. Situations like this spiral out of your control very very quickly, one day you think you’ve got a hold on your feelings and the next you will wish you didn’t have any. Please take my advice and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, nothing good will come of this. If he wanted to be with you then and was prepared for the carnage that comes with leaving a marriage for you then trust me he would. He is enjoying the ego rub, stop giving it to him. Well, this may be true but I’m not looking for him to leave his marriage for me whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie Moo Posted March 21, 2021 Share Posted March 21, 2021 19 minutes ago, KittieKat said: Well, this may be true but I’m not looking for him to leave his marriage for me whatsoever. And neither was I with my exMM. But a year and a half down the line I realised I was in love with him and walking away was going to be one of the most difficult things to do. Just save yourself the hassle and don’t go there. The thrill of it is not worth the pain. Knowingly being the third wheel in someone else’s relationship becomes soul destroying. No matter how much you think you can handle it....it’s really not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 22, 2021 Author Share Posted March 22, 2021 On 3/21/2021 at 9:34 AM, Minnie Moo said: And neither was I with my exMM. But a year and a half down the line I realised I was in love with him and walking away was going to be one of the most difficult things to do. Just save yourself the hassle and don’t go there. The thrill of it is not worth the pain. Knowingly being the third wheel in someone else’s relationship becomes soul destroying. No matter how much you think you can handle it....it’s really not worth it. Thank you for your post. Link to post Share on other sites
Bonifidelifelover Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 On 3/18/2021 at 6:09 AM, Bittersweetie said: So wait...you want to enter a business partnership with a man who has slapped your bottom numerous times in front of his wife? Good grief. Step away from this man, I don't see anything positive coming from these interactions, professional or personal. My hunch is the biz partnership is an excuse to get closer to him. Opportunistic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 On 3/23/2021 at 8:55 PM, Bonifidelifelover said: My hunch is the biz partnership is an excuse to get closer to him. Opportunistic Hi, no it’s equal part, he’s the one that originally suggested it and I didn’t think much about it. Some time passed and then I started thinking it’s not such a bad idea. Probably I will see him in a couple of weeks, after school break. I will know more and hopefully will be ready to make the right decision.Time helps me understand and process my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittieKat Posted March 25, 2021 Author Share Posted March 25, 2021 On 3/23/2021 at 8:55 PM, Bonifidelifelover said: My hunch is the biz partnership is an excuse to get closer to him. Opportunistic Not entering into a biz partnership whatsoever just wanted an opinion. He’s influential in the area I’m working in and thought he would be able to give me some tips. Nothing more regarding the business part. He’s the one that’s not keeping it separate especially since he’s not so into me anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
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