What's going on with married man

[BaileyB]

19 minutes ago, SoleMate said:

KittieKat, he’s slapping your ass in public and you’re tolerating that?

Better than that, she going to reward him with sex. 

[KittieKat]

1 minute ago, BaileyB said:

Better than that, she going to reward him with sex. 

Well it’s not exactly public, more of a small gathering at home during these times. Sex would be mutual and not necessarily going to happen. Maybe last minute I will change my mind, i may be just entertaining the idea for now. He doesn’t have the balls anyways, seems like he’s just a teaser.

[Wiseman2]

Just now, KittieKat said:

Well it’s not exactly public, more of a small gathering at home during these times. 

Whose home? How old is he?

[Watercolors]

I just finished reading 6 pages of Scarlett O'Hara's diaries here about her limerence for the dashing Ashely Wilkes whose already with Melanie Hamilton. Scarlett ends up being rejected by Ashley and goes for Rhett Butler whose more her level. 

OP, sounds to me like you need to find a Rhett Butler. Stay away from the Ashley Wilkes, will you? 

Edited March 25, 2021 by Watercolors

[KittieKat]

11 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

I just finished reading 6 pages of Scarlett O'Hara's diaries here about her limerence for the dashing Ashely Wilkes whose already with Melanie Hamilton. Scarlett ends up being rejected by Ashley and goes for Rhett Butler whose more her level. 

OP, sounds to me like you need to find a Rhett Butler. Stay away from the Ashley Wilkes, will you? 

Rhett Butler is considered scandalous and exciting, no?  So I need to find someone that’s more challenging?

[Watercolors]

9 minutes ago, KittieKat said:

Rhett Butler is considered scandalous and exciting, no?  So I need to find someone that’s more challenging?

Ashley Wilkes was already taken and Scarlett O'Hara went after him anyway (just like you're doing). She still loved Ashley after he rejected her. She only got together with Rhett Butler for his wealth as a smugler during the war. As hard as Rhett tries to get Scarlet to love him despite everything, she's still only got eyes for Ashley. Rhett leaves Scarlett after the death of their daughter, walking out, and in the sequel book, divorces Scarlet and marries another woman. 

You're after a married man because you want to have sex with him for the thrill. You don't care about his wife and you don't care about yourself. Look how well it turned out for Scarlett. If that's the same future you want, go for it. 

[KittieKat]

3 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Ashley Wilkes was already taken and Scarlett O'Hara went after him anyway (just like you're doing). She still loved Ashley after he rejected her. She only got together with Rhett Butler for his wealth as a smugler during the war. As hard as Rhett tries to get Scarlet to love him despite everything, she's still only got eyes for Ashley. Rhett leaves Scarlett after the death of their daughter, walking out, and in the sequel book, divorces Scarlet and marries another woman. 

You're after a married man because you want to have sex with him for the thrill. You don't care about his wife and you don't care about yourself. Look how well it turned out for Scarlett. If that's the same future you want, go for it. 

3 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Ashley Wilkes was already taken and Scarlett O'Hara went after him anyway (just like you're doing). She still loved Ashley after he rejected her. She only got together with Rhett Butler for his wealth as a smugler during the war. As hard as Rhett tries to get Scarlet to love him despite everything, she's still only got eyes for Ashley. Rhett leaves Scarlett after the death of their daughter, walking out, and in the sequel book, divorces Scarlet and marries another woman. 

You're after a married man because you want to have sex with him for the thrill. You don't care about his wife and you don't care about yourself. Look how well it turned out for Scarlett. If that's the same future you want, go for it. 

You make it sound so awful and one sided. So I won’t try anything and if he still comes around or teases me then we know he’s just playing his games and nothing more. I still think the married men are more wrong because they are not faithful in thoughts nor in practice. They shouldn’t enslave their wives in a marriage that isn’t 100% since they so easily stray. They should release their wives from a marriage full of lies.

[Watercolors]

OP this married Lothario is not "the" best business professional connection in your city for your field. He's one of many. Why ruin your professional reputation by entangling yourself with a man who is literally the definition of a lothario: "an unscrupulous seducer of women." You are enticed because of the thrill. But at what cost? You sleep with him, then what? He can influence your professional social networks by spreading rumors about you if you go that far with him. Have you even thought through the consequences of your actions, that will impact your professional life by sleeping with him?

Let's not forget what his wife could do to you as well. A friend of mine had an affair with a married man who was a bank manager. The bank manager's wife found out, and literally went to the copy center and had fliers created with my friend's name and her husband's name and photos she'd secretly taken of them in bed together, plastered ALL over their small town. My friend lost her job and her children's lives were ruined once the other parents found out. My friend was forced to leave her small town and move with her children to my city. It took her years to get rid of the wife too, who stalked my friend's whereabouts through social media. She'd leave nasty voicemails on my friend's new phone number (that was unlisted, but she still found my friend's phone number somehow). I heard some myself and they were awful. Eventually, she stopped harassing my poor friend and my friend went on to date a single guy and they're now happily married. 

If you want to sleep with this married guy fine, as long as you're willing to endure the fallout from that poor choice afterwards. 

[Bonifidelifelover]

4 hours ago, Watercolors said:

Ashley Wilkes was already taken and Scarlett O'Hara went after him anyway (just like you're doing). She still loved Ashley after he rejected her. She only got together with Rhett Butler for his wealth as a smugler during the war. As hard as Rhett tries to get Scarlet to love him despite everything, she's still only got eyes for Ashley. Rhett leaves Scarlett after the death of their daughter, walking out, and in the sequel book, divorces Scarlet and marries another woman. 

You're after a married man because you want to have sex with him for the thrill. You don't care about his wife and you don't care about yourself. Look how well it turned out for Scarlett. If that's the same future you want, go for it. 

I’ve never seen gone with the wind. Now I’m interested! 

[Wiseman2]

So what is it you want out of this? Why is he in your home?

Your crush on him is fine, but try to elevate your sights to guys who aren't dirty old men slapping your butt.

[elaine567]

I don't get the "challenge " of married men. men like this are two a penny and easy to get.
And then what have you really got?

He carries on with his life, you wait in the shadows. 
You get attached, he doesn't, you want him to choose you, he chooses his wife.

Edited March 26, 2021 by elaine567

[NYAG]

I've got popcorn at the ready waiting to see how this pans out. I can't believe what I'm reading!

[Snakesalive]

10 hours ago, KittieKat said:

He doesn’t have the balls anyways, seems like he’s just a teaser.

You sound like a match  made in heaven 

[Snakesalive]

10 hours ago, KittieKat said:

They shouldn’t enslave their wives in a marriage that isn’t 100% since they so easily stray. They should release their wives from a marriage full of lies.

Wow poacher turned gamekeeper -so you’re quite happy to play the game, enjoying the “excitement “ and consider sex/an affair with this guy while berating that same guy for being someone who  would consider sex/an affair  ?  

A)What gives you the right to  say his wife is “enslaved “in the marriage  ? It’s your opinion-doesn’t make it fact -it gives the impression you think she’s oppressed and weak - keep this up and you may see she’s anything but when she finds out about you and your role in the game playing 

b) Has he really  “strayed” that easily given he’s cancelled opportunities to see you and isn’t exactly beating down a path to your door  ? 

c) how do you know his marriage is “full of lies”? 
 

Have you considered therapy as a safe way to work through your thoughts and feelings? 

 

 

Edited March 26, 2021 by Snakesalive

[jah526]

She has a fantasy built up in her head about him, based on a few butt slaps. I did the same with mine - a little bit of attention and my mind went racing away. Didn't think a little fantasy would hurt anything because I really didn't think anything would come of it, although honestly, I was curious, intrigued. So I was already primed, and with some pushing and prodding from this desperate man, I fell into a nightmare that was really difficult to get out of. 

Guaranteed the reality won't match the fantasy, little one.

[Bittersweetie]

On 3/24/2021 at 10:19 PM, KittieKat said:

Hi, no it’s equal part, he’s the one that originally suggested it and I didn’t think much about it. Some time passed and then I started thinking  it’s not such a bad idea. Probably I will see him in a couple of weeks, after school break. I will know more and hopefully will be ready to make the right decision.Time helps me understand and process my feelings. 

May I ask, are you in college? Undergrad?

[KittieKat]

4 hours ago, Snakesalive said:

Wow poacher turned gamekeeper -so you’re quite happy to play the game, enjoying the “excitement “ and consider sex/an affair with this guy while berating that same guy for being someone who  would consider sex/an affair  ?  

A)What gives you the right to  say his wife is “enslaved “in the marriage  ? It’s your opinion-doesn’t make it fact -it gives the impression you think she’s oppressed and weak - keep this up and you may see she’s anything but when she finds out about you and your role in the game playing 

b) Has he really  “strayed” that easily given he’s cancelled opportunities to see you and isn’t exactly beating down a path to your door  ? 

c) how do you know his marriage is “full of lies”? 
 

Have you considered therapy as a safe way to work through your thoughts and feelings? 

 

 

Well, I don’t anything for sure but the wife is definitely aware of his shenanigans. For example instead of dancing all together at one point she had us dance together while she watched us and insisted we  dance in front of her. So this marriage is definitely not normal. He hasn’t run to me and may not but for now it’s a crush. I’m 41 years old. Age really doesn’t make a difference when it comes to attraction, I don’t think anyways. Who knows since I’m free and able to financially take care of myself, this type of affair is attractive to me for many reasons.

[BaileyB]

No, but age makes a difference usually in terms of judgment. Much can be excused by youth and inexperience. 

31 minutes ago, KittieKat said:

Well, I don’t anything for sure but the wife is definitely aware of his shenanigans. For example instead of dancing all together at one point she had us dance together while she watched us and insisted we dance in front of her.

Whatever floats your boat. 

[Watercolors]

2 hours ago, KittieKat said:

Well, I don’t anything for sure but the wife is definitely aware of his shenanigans. For example instead of dancing all together at one point she had us dance together while she watched us and insisted we  dance in front of her. So this marriage is definitely not normal. He hasn’t run to me and may not but for now it’s a crush. I’m 41 years old. Age really doesn’t make a difference when it comes to attraction, I don’t think anyways. Who knows since I’m free and able to financially take care of myself, this type of affair is attractive to me for many reasons.

With so many choices in life, why make this one? There's literally hundreds of better choices you could make for yourself. 

[KittieKat]

8 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

With so many choices in life, why make this one? There's literally hundreds of better choices you could make for yourself. 

Yes, this is true. I guess it’s good he’s keeping his distance for now. Makes it easier for me not to make a mistake and not to rush into something that’s not a good idea. Why you ask, I guess because  the crush thing makes me want to get involved. I really never wanted to feel this way or seek this type of affair out it just suddenly happened one night. It’s odd how this happens I would be saying the same thing if I heard someone else talking about it  like I am now. I would say it’s ridiculous and not a good idea etc.