do children normally say this?

[Supernova11]

When I was a child, I was really close to my dad and my brother was close to my mum, thats how it was, thats ok. But I loved my dad so much and for some reason I used to worry he would die and leave me on my own. On quite a few occasions,  after he read me a story at night I would say to him” you wont ever leave me, will you dad” and he would affirm that he wasn’t going anywhere or I would say “dad, I don’t want you to die” and he would say “well hopefully that won’t be for a long time yet!”

What I want to know is, is this a normal thing for a kid to say to a parent? My dad had manic depression and he had been in hospital and as I saw it, he got very upset and unwell but it didn’t even enter my head that he might commit suicide, which is what he did, when I was 12.
 

So is the ‘dying’ repeated convo thing normal for kids to say to parents or was I maybe sensitive to  my dads emotions? Interested to hear your thoughts.

 

.

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Supernova11 said:

 My dad had manic depression .

it didn’t even enter my head that he might commit suicide, which is what he did, when I was 12.

Sorry this happened. At 12 or as a child this was too much to handle.

All little kids are attached to and dependent on thier parents.

Hopefully you have excellent relationships with your family, friends, co-workers, etc. and have a happy life now as an adult.

It's extremely important to keep in mind that you can not change the past. That you can however change the present and future.

You're not a hostage to your past if you have insight and resilience.

Does anyone else have mood disorders in the family? Bipolar has a strong family history component.

Edited March 19, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Lotsgoingon]

I don't think this is typical. No.

My dad would reassure me that the chair on the other side of the room hadn't become a monster when I turned off the lights. I don't remember a single word or thought about my parents dying or abandoning me. 

No, I do not think this is at all typical. It isn't unusual for kids to pick up the fragility of a parent or to overhear some conversation about the struggles of a parent--and the kid feels anxiety. 

[Supernova11]

Thanks both.  I actually have bipolar aswell but am very stable.  We are the only two in the family that have it (or had it in his case). @lotsgoingon - Its good to hear this and I think you’re right, as a kid, I never had any idea he would do that but probably picking up on his fragility, and the dynamics between my parents (not terrible just strained at times), that is most likely why I would ask him about not leaving me and not dying. I just wondered if sometimes you loved your parents so much, you would get scared in case you lost them that you would come out with stuff like that but it doesn’t sound right thinking about it.   

All these years later and suddenly this question pops up!  Well guys you’ll be pleased to know that all is well in my world but its amazing what can come up even still. @Wiseman2 yes I’m very fortunate with my family and friends and also like my job and have a nice little pad to live in 😁

[ClearEyes-FullHeart]

So sorry to hear that you had to go through that @Supernova11. My father also committed suicide but I was mid 20s. I can’t imaging that at age 12. In my situation he was the most positive and upbeat parent, my mom was more glum and struggled with depression. My father was the rock of the family and I remember him saying - “I have an exuberance for life. I will live to be 100.” 

He called me a week before it happened and only later did I realize it was a farewell call. I also later leaned he was battling depression for a litany of situational reasons at the time (including a cancer diagnosis) and it was just too much I guess despite him having sought treatment and had meds.

As a child I don’t remember asking about my parents dying or fearing that. However I do remember (probably in 4th to 5th grade) being fearful about what happens once someone is dead...where do they go, what does it mean.

Please take care. Sorry you lost your father so young and in the way it happened.

[Supernova11]

@ClearEyes-FullHeart Thanks for your kind words and for sharing with me ☀️