Almost 9 Months Later.

[lovelyleah]

so. this is kind of a long story but i really just need advice from people who may have experienced the same thing. i had my first serious relationship with this guy. we were together from March of 2018 to August of 2020. However, we stayed friends until February. We slept together many times throughout August and February which, I know, my first mistake. But I was still in love with him and I think he was attached. We did make a deal that if either of us started talking to someone or sleeping with someone else, we would let the other know so we wouldn’t do it anymore. It was something out of respect, boundaries. However, it was around January that I suspected that he was lying to me about talking to someone. Which he was. But I didn’t know that for a fact. He is with that girl now, has been for a month. I cut off contact with him in February because I couldn’t take the fact that I felt like he was lying to me. We were SO close and we went through a lot together. After we broke up, we found out I was pregnant. I am no longer pregnant but that was something we went through. His grandmother died and I was there for him, even helped him wright the eulogy. Like, when I say we were close, we were close. But the fact that I keep finding out, slowly but surely, how many lies he told me and it really hurts. I reached out to him a couple of weeks ago and he told me wasn’t ready to talk. But I think that was only because he didn’t want to face me about his new girlfriend. THEN, last night, his new girlfriend messaged me on facebook and kind of confronted me about stuff. We eventually came to the conclusion that he lied to both of us about each other. I hate, hate, HATE feeling angry at anyone. I always offer forgiveness and kindness even when I shouldn’t. I told my ex about the conversation between me and his girlfriend and, through conversation with his family, found out that they fought. He blocked me on everything. My number, facebook, instagram, everything. Our messages to each other when I cut off contact, he said he’d always be there with open arms. Now, I feel like I’m being swept under the rug. His entire family doesn’t like his new girlfriend. They know she isn’t his type, she just broke up with the father of her son, she’s racist, homophobic, among other things. They think it’s a rebound but I truly just feel so betrayed. I know at the end of the day their relationship is none of my business but she put me in the middle when she messaged me. I just feel extremely hurt with how many times he hurt me. I still want the chance to talk to him but I don’t know if he’ll ever reach out again. I shouldn’t care, but I do. I gave him everything and cared for him. He knew that. I don’t know how to move on and be okay with the way things are ending.   

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, lovelyleah said:

.I hate, hate, HATE feeling angry at anyone. 

Maybe it's time to realize that anger is like the check engine light. It's a huge warning sign that you must act rather thank just keep tooling along.

When someone demotes you to FWB, it's time to run  👟👟,  not lean in.

Start embracing your emotions. They are your built in early warning system.

Would you speed up on an icy road when there's a ⚠️ slow down sign?

Same thing with feelings. Heed what you feel. If it's anger that's a flashing red light.

Edited March 20, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Gaeta]

You've been betrayed and there is no amount of conversation with him that will ease the pain. He's not worth the opportunity to explain himself. He doesn't want to talk to you because he knows he betrayed you and he's too coward to face you and his actions. Block him on all media and start the detaching process. It's hard at first because we feel we are owed an explanation but unfortunately it doesn't work that way, we rarely get an explanation. The closure will have to come from within youself. 

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to cut all ties with him, once and for all.

In time, your current feelings will subside and you won't feel the strong need to read him the riot act. It's best to finally put him in your rearview mirror now. 

[TeddyBundy1993]

FWB isn't a bad thing dear unless you know what you are doing. You knew you were attached to this guy and it isn't about sex anymore. But he clearly isn't a relationship material in anyway.  It's apparent that he simply wanted NSA type of relationship and in some way you gave him you consent. You should've talked to him seriously as where you two were going.  

Anyhow what's done is done, you have yourself now. And know he just played with you 2 girls and that's enough for you to know that it's time to stay away if you wanna save yourself from agony and hard times in future ok.  We all makes such mistakes, I know urge to talk to him is driving you crazy but there's nothing good you'll get from him. Maybe few more lies but nothing beneficial for you.  Leave him alone with his girl. And try to focus on yourself.  Being together in tuff times doesn't means the nature of that relationship is strong. Yes you did much for the guy and you have a crazy history together but surely he doesn't seems the one for you. Forget him and move on there are much better people out there