Myasylum Posted March 22, 2021 Share Posted March 22, 2021 I'm really at a loss for this one... I met a girl who recently broke up with her ex... but he's still persistent with getting back together with her. Then there is me... She said she needs time and admittedly stated she just wants to be friends. However 20 minutes later we were in the bedroom together. We didn't have sex but still had fun. She went home and I text her that I really feel like I'm in a funky place with her. She said she understands and that's on her, it just takes her a real long time to come around to someone new. Now, I really like this girl... but in at a loss as to what to do. I wouldn't call this "friends" but I don't know what else it would be or where to go from here? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 22, 2021 Share Posted March 22, 2021 Hi @Myasylum is this the married woman you wrote about in January? If so, this is looking very tricky...and I fear you will be hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myasylum Posted March 22, 2021 Author Share Posted March 22, 2021 No it is not. I have remained friends with that one though and that is where it has stayed. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 22, 2021 Share Posted March 22, 2021 Getting in the crossfire of other people's on/off nonsense is a recipe for a lot of headaches and heartaches. Step way back from this. You want s dating, not being a shoulder to cry on or being a fill-in. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted March 22, 2021 Share Posted March 22, 2021 I'm sort of in a similar place. I have been trying to keep the door closed with my ex but he's become a bit stalker-ish and keeps trying to track me down. Is she instigating any of the contact or attention with her ex? Do you think you want something long term with her? Has she done anything to heal on her end? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myasylum Posted March 22, 2021 Author Share Posted March 22, 2021 I don't get involved asking about him. 1. I don't want to know. 2. It's just going to drive her closer to him. I try to keep it light. She could be talking with him daily for all I know? I'd like something long term with her, but? Seems kind of all over the place. Doesn't seem to know what she wants. I just try to be patient and see where this all goes... but it does feel rather hurtful not knowing. I think I am the healing on her end. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 22, 2021 Share Posted March 22, 2021 You are the dreaded rebound perhaps, while she sorts things out? If she can't fully emotionally bond with you (or you with her) due to the orbiting/interference, then it's unlikely to last or amount to more than an extended fling at best. Worst case scenario (IMO) you're with her a few years and then she one day goes back to him or "realizes" you're not fully what she wanted and moves on. That could happen anyhow in a normal relationship, but I believe is more likely in a situation like this. Many people would consider it "time wasted" as there's no LTR at the end. IF you're just looking for ST anyhow and think you won't get "too attached" then have at it I suppose. Just be aware that you're probably "just" a rebound and enjoy it for what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 11 hours ago, Myasylum said: I think I am the healing on her end. Buzzing in the male-girlfriend zone is worse than the friendzone. Unless you're getting paid $250./hr as her therapist, why bother with this? The time you're wasting on this could be spent talking to and meeting available, interested women. Not sobbing " boohoo, my BF dumped me" basket cases like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myasylum Posted March 23, 2021 Author Share Posted March 23, 2021 She doesn't sob to me at all actually. I'm merely a means of escape. Which may be just as bad, idk? However I have noticed I am and probably will always be #2. Not so sure this "friends" thing will ever work out either. I'll always be drawn to her for some stupid reason and probably best if I try to walk away. I thought at first I'd sit tight and weather the storm, but I'm finding to to be more difficult than I thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 You can't possibly compete with the thoughts she's still having for her ex. Link to post Share on other sites
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