Too_confused_ Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 I had a boyfriend for 1,5 year. We were a wonderful, loving couple for almost a year, but then he told me „I don’t know what I feel, maybe we should take a break”. I started to cry and I didn’t want a break. He told me that he loved we and we were together. Then, he told me that I had time till October to decide whether I wanted to live with him and he would’t Wait longer. I wanted to live with him but after graduating from Uni, because I didn’t have a job. Later he told me that my father had flea-ridden friends and that he would buy food only for himself when I visit him. Then I heard from him that I don’t have anything interesting to say, he doesn’t know what he feels and doesn’t know if he wants to be with me and he broke up. Later we went together and he told me that I didin’t attract him when I was dressed in trousers and a T-shirt. He apologised me with flowers but than they these flowers on the floor because I didn’t want to spend night with him. Then he told me that he could wait a month or 2 for sex, not 6. We broke up. But then for a few months he’s been apologising me, telling me that he loves me, started to be nice, and went for a therapy. I still have strong feelings toward him, but I don’t know should I come back after various unpleasant situations. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 13 minutes ago, Too_confused_ said: We broke up. But then for a few months he’s been apologising me, telling me that he loves me, started to be nice, and went for a therapy. Read up on abusive relationships. Every red flag for that is in this post. Talk to trusted friends and family about the coercion, controlling behaviors, manipulation, insults, etc. Be glad he is gone. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. At least you now know what the red flags for abusive relationships look like and feel like. Hopefully you'll avoid guys like this in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Way too many complications only after 1.5 year of relationship. I'd still give him a chance I mean what does he even think? I don't think he respect you at all comes when he wants make you wait tell you, you aren't attractive. He has returned but ask yourself what has changed in these times? If nothing has changed he just returned out of boredom and loneliness. What I hate is people getting their heart destroyed twice by same person. Don't give anyone that much control over you. If you still have feeling and think he deserves another chance then be extremely slow with him. Don't just jump into relationship right away let that dude earn that spot again since he left and wants another chance... don't keep high expectations though Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 What you do is breakup for good and move on. This man has disrespected you in too many ways. I don't believe he will go in therapy. It's another one of his manipulation. If EVER he does go to therapy, then he needs to be serious about it for a full year. No moving in with him until a full year in therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 This is not a healthy loving relationship. At the very least the man is a fool for demanding that you live with him & make a financial commitment you can't afford without a job. If he's so stingy he won't buy food for you when you come over, how do you envision living together will work. He has already said he doesn't know how he feels. That is code for I want out of this relationship but I'd rather not be blunt about it because I don't want to deal with your tears. IMO if the world was open, he'd be long gone. He's only sticking around because in lockdowns it's too much trouble to find a different GF. Do you really want to be with him when he's only with you as a fall back because he feels he has limited options right now? Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Sounds manipulative but 1.5 years and no sex? He's patient if nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 (edited) Hey OP, Don't get back together with him for 2 reasons that are both equally important: 1. You know you are not finished University yet and that you want to and then find a job and secure yourself financially before settling like that..and I think the fact that you addressed it, is a smart and mature move on your side. It sounds negative, but relationships can fail and people can come and go quite often..especially in this day and age. Secure your own life first by finishing your studies and finding a career in which you can settle into. It is important for your confidence and well-being to know this and to have something for yourself..because if things go wrong, your entire life won't crash and burn because you won't be solely dependant on that person. You will have what you built for yourself to stabilize you. 2. He seems to be consistent rude to you and as you've taken notice, it is having a negative impact on your well-being. Stay strong. Focus on your studies and continue to set goals. In pursuit of your goals, you will find the right people who will connect with you in ways your heart needs. And maybe, a person in that list, will be someone who is right for you. - Beach Edited March 26, 2021 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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