lovebooks Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 You married your friend and he's still your friend. Stop trying to make this into a passionate situation. You can treat it like an arranged marriage but you want passionate sex. He's not that guy. I don't think bringing a baby into this will change his behavior. Go see a counselor alone ASAP and discuss your options. You don't want to realize you should've divorced when you get too old to have children with someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 Marriage counselling is not going to ignite feelings that were never there to begin with, OP. It sounds like you two married each other for the wrong reasons. What was that decision based on? It reads like an awkward and contrived situation, perhaps borne out of a fear of being alone. Did you both really just want to be married, and figured you'd marry each other because you were best friends and hoped the rest would just fall into place? It doesn't appear as though you're actually into each other, romantically and sexually. It all sounds like one of those, "Hey, if we're both still single in 10 years, let's marry each other"-agreements that friends somtimes make in jest. Was it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshinewhenitrains Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 Have you initiated it? Taken control? Lingerie? Try catching his attention and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 I'm not sure what you mean by stolen kisses as you've mentioned it twice. Passion is one thing, stability is another. Specific kisses stolen or make out sessions are something you can work up to but it takes two. Has it ever occurred to you he may be wondering the same thing? Why not try new things in the bedroom or do it outside now and then, go to a sex convention together and enjoy each other outside of the confines of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird2 Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 Is it possible he's a romantic asexual? My older daughter identifies as such. She enjoys love and romance, but sex holds no interest for her. Men, albeit not many of them, can also be romantic asexual. I would have some serious discussions about this with him. If you don't mind a piece of advice, if it turns out that he is asexual, please don't tell him he needs to see a doctor ( he may want to, but let him decide) or therapist. Being asexual doesn't mean he's "broken"...he's just wired differently. If that is what's going on, you two are going to have to decide how to proceed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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