Crush on coworker

[Thatconfusedgurl]

Hello there , am a 25 years old woman and I moved 2 years ago to Starr a new job experience abroad, was in a relationship for almost 4 years with who is now my ex boyfriend and our relationship start falling out after discovering 3 years into the relationship that he had a baby which he never mentioned about, the lockdown and distance also made a lot but yes we broke up. 

Now that you have a context the main reason I broke up was because I started growing feelings for a coworker , as soon as I saw his pic on the website of our job website I was hooked; unfortunately when I started he was not there coz he had his second daughter from what I then later discover the actual GF( to take note he also have a son with another woman ) , in that period I also saw that he use to chat a lot with another coworker so I brushed it off like oh is a player .

Months later we finally meet each other and we were in a good relationship, we use to do our job together but nothing particular happened .

Last year I would say during May we started working more and I started already having feeling for him because he was so nice with me like with other, went back to my boyfriend then the feeling somehow went away I was like ok maybe is only because I missed my BF. 

For the longest time nothing particularly happened then I started working more and more with him again , and from there it became actually difficult for me to deny that attraction and feeling which I thought was only on my part until I notice how we was around me, we joke a lot , have the same humor and we touch each other and love each other a lot, we have say to each other things like you are on of my fave people ever and am always happy to work with you so to say every-time we have a shift together it’s always so fun and amazing for me as for him. 

Time ago I gave him my number for a work related question but he never chatted me brushed it off saying that he lost my number which is also on a list for everyone to see ( during this period our relationship was flourishing and we knew more about each other ). Till now I don’t hear from him or have anything to do with him , he seems pretty happy with his family and I know is orribile to think to do something with him but the feeling I have and what we have between each other can only be in my head try to forget him and talk to him less but it never works, during the work period he comes and look for me several time just to joke or help me around, what should I do now? 

I know I should let it go but is soo soo hard because some word he says like never leave me alone and I wish you were always around me stays in me . 

P.S he knows that am single again he got the info last time from work, he didn’t ask anything particular but he said something like you actually told me that you parents never liked him I remember. I think he was never really interested in me and I built a BIG fantasy in my head. 

 

WELP.