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Ran into ex after 4 months


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Ran into my ex Thursday  after 4 months of NC

we talked for like 45 mins while shopping at Walmart. She told me that she had been thinking about me, and she never told her son it was over, rather she said I went to go visit family. So I told her well I still have his Christmas present so I can mail it or drop it off to him. She ask why I didn’t call and see if I could drop it off I explained she blocked me and so I figured she didn’t want to hear from me. She informed me that she had unblocked me..... 

 

So she text me her number, we got to the car I helped load her car and went to walk away, she stopped me and gave me a hug. Later on I texted her and say it was nice to run into her and I hope she has a good evening.

 

she said that it was great to see me and she misses me. I said likewise. Hour or so later she sent me some pics that she had already showed me. Couple text and over. Next day she invited me over to see her son.... I informed I couldn’t make it but I could come by Saturday or Sunday, she said make it Monday cause she is going camping with a “friend”

 

wtf?? Why did she have to tell me she is camping with a friend (yes a guy based on our convo at Walmart), and two why couldn’t I just take the gift to her son while he was at grandma house as her family loves me? 

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Maybe she's trying to keep you on the back burner incase the "camping friend" does not work out.

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ExpatInItaly

Do not go and visit her son, and do not deliver a gift to him. 

That is unfair and confusing for the kid. Having you in and out and back in his life is too much for a child to understand, and likely to hurt him. The adults here need to use better judgement all around, man. 

As for her? Yes, it sounds like she's trying to keep you warm in case her camping trip doesn't go well. 

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You jumped right into that one.
 

She blocked you yet you went right back for more? 
 

She’s not playing you. You’re playing yourself.  

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8 hours ago, whatitdo said:

 I told her well I still have his Christmas present so I can mail it or drop it off to him.

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like things ended quite abruptly. Don't bother with the gifts. Donate them.

She's dating someone,so block and delete her from all your social media and messaging apps.

Sorry this happened, but don't get sucked in by friendly chance meetings. Would have been better if you were shopping with a new GF, no?

Work on that.

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4 hours ago, Marc878 said:

You jumped right into that one.
 

She blocked you yet you went right back for more? 
 

She’s not playing you. You’re playing yourself.  

Well she actually unblocked me like a month and a half ago but I told her I didn’t know that. I didn’t go back for more I actually just happen to run into her at Walmart 

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2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like things ended quite abruptly. Don't bother with the gifts. Donate them.

She's dating someone,so block and delete her from all your social media and messaging apps.

Sorry this happened, but don't get sucked in by friendly chance meetings. Would have been better if you were shopping with a new GF, no?

Work on that.

Well, I value your point. I shouldn’t say I know she is dating somebody, as she didn’t say that. Yet she said seeing him this weekend wouldn’t be good because she was going camping with a friend, but I’m not stupid. If it was a girl she would have said her name.

second thing is when we first met, after a couple dates I met her son and we became really close.... so part of me felt that her having me hang out with him would have that same affect 

after the chance meeting she texted me her number and I responded saying it was nice chatting.... she responded with “it was a great surprise running into you cause I miss you.” 

Then I responded in kind.... about an hour later she texted me a bunch of pics of her moms house that she had already showed me at Walmart.. we texted back and forth a few times then the next day she invited me over but I couldn’t make it...

 

guess I’m just looking too much into it

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It’s a shock with a chance meeting but I think you’re right. You are reading too much into this. Unfortunately NC is back to square one. 

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She doesn't sound like somebody you want to get involved with again.  How can she let her son get hurt when you have to go away again?  

Just take a pass.  Give the toy to a charity.  

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people move on, don't take it personally

sometimes people share too much detail

 

You seem like  solid person and strong minded individual, progress and just accept it as casual talk, you got this and we got your back.

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2 hours ago, Marc878 said:

It’s a shock with a chance meeting but I think you’re right. You are reading too much into this. Unfortunately NC is back to square one. 

That I would agree with.... I don’t think much is gonna come of it. I had thought that her son was an indirect direct approach, until she mentioned the camping trip. Then I was like wtf? Are you trying to make me jealous / hurt me ? Or just let me know you want nothing to do with me.... 

I had high hopes like an idiot 

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30 minutes ago, AdamPad said:

people move on, don't take it personally

sometimes people share too much detail

 

You seem like  solid person and strong minded individual, progress and just accept it as casual talk, you got this and we got your back.

Yeah she did that on purpose..... don’t know what the purpose was.... but it was intentional 

just don’t know if I can pass on the opportunity to find out exactly where her head is at 

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So you ran into each other and it might have re-ignited something. She already had plans for the weekend which is normal you have broken up 4 months earlier, did you expect her to remain celibate? Or did you expect her to cancel her weekend based on randomly meeting you at walmart? Sure she could have avoid mentioning her camping trip but people make  mistakes, they open their mouth then regret right after. 

What is your goal here? Do you want her back or not? If you want her back this is your open door. If she has not told her child you broken up it's because it's not 100% broken up in her heart. 

If I were you I'd invite her to meet over coffee to remit the gift. Do not show yourself to the child it would be cruel. 

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1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

So you ran into each other and it might have re-ignited something. She already had plans for the weekend which is normal you have broken up 4 months earlier, did you expect her to remain celibate? Or did you expect her to cancel her weekend based on randomly meeting you at walmart? Sure she could have avoid mentioning her camping trip but people make  mistakes, they open their mouth then regret right after. 

What is your goal here? Do you want her back or not? If you want her back this is your open door. If she has not told her child you broken up it's because it's not 100% broken up in her heart. 

If I were you I'd invite her to meet over coffee to remit the gift. Do not show yourself to the child it would be cruel. 

Yes we happenstance ran into each other, we chatted for like 45 mins. She explained that he brings me up and that she still thinks about me. After that I said well I have to admit that you cross my mind from time to time. As we shopped I told her I could take off if she wanted to shop alone and she wanted me to stay, and there were times she said I could leave if she was taking to long. We went and looked at flowers like we used to do and just enjoyed each other’s company. 
 

she brought up missing me and thinking about me, I responded in kind. AND she texted me the next day, I went back to NC after we texted a few times. 
 

AND I thought it was interesting that she didn’t tell him we broke up, rather I was visiting family. I figure if she already told him I was coming over I should go...... otherwise I think meeting up without him may be best

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1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

So you ran into each other and it might have re-ignited something. She already had plans for the weekend which is normal you have broken up 4 months earlier, did you expect her to remain celibate? Or did you expect her to cancel her weekend based on randomly meeting you at walmart? Sure she could have avoid mentioning her camping trip but people make  mistakes, they open their mouth then regret right after. 

What is your goal here? Do you want her back or not? If you want her back this is your open door. If she has not told her child you broken up it's because it's not 100% broken up in her heart. 

If I were you I'd invite her to meet over coffee to remit the gift. Do not show yourself to the child it would be cruel. 

Yes we happenstance ran into each other, we chatted for like 45 mins. She explained that he brings me up and that she still thinks about me. After that I said well I have to admit that you cross my mind from time to time. As we shopped I told her I could take off if she wanted to shop alone and she wanted me to stay, and there were times she said I could leave if she was taking to long. We went and looked at flowers like we used to do and just enjoyed each other’s company. 
 

she brought up missing me and thinking about me, I responded in kind. AND she texted me the next day, I went back to NC after we texted a few times. 
 

AND I thought it was interesting that she didn’t tell him we broke up, rather I was visiting family. I figure if she already told him I was coming over I should go...... otherwise I think meeting up without him may be best

oh almost forgot, part of me doesn’t feel like this friend is serious as my ex usually changes her SM status when it is a relationship. We went on like 2-3 dates and she changed her status to let others know she wasn’t interested ijs 

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The woman I love? I dont fault her for saying post me..... in fact I don’t 100% fault her for the break up. It was at least 70% my fault.

She has issues, no she isn’t perfect ...... but that doesn’t change how I feel about her

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10 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

She doesn't sound like somebody you want to get involved with again.  How can she let her son get hurt when you have to go away again?  

Just take a pass.  Give the toy to a charity.  

Btw she is actually a good mom, so I don’t think she would involve her son just to involve her son..... I could be wrong completely but I just don’t see her doing that. 

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I’d leave the son and the gift out of the equation personally as he shouldn’t get involved one way or another 

I wouldn’t get manipulated by the camping thing either, who knows who or what that situation is

I personally think you have a shot, if that’s what you really want. If so then proceed carefully and cautiously but be prepared for not working out and having a set back

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1 hour ago, Stromae said:

I’d leave the son and the gift out of the equation personally as he shouldn’t get involved one way or another 

I wouldn’t get manipulated by the camping thing either, who knows who or what that situation is

I personally think you have a shot, if that’s what you really want. If so then proceed carefully and cautiously but be prepared for not working out and having a set back

Have to proceed extremely cautious because her opening the door slightly then slamming it in my face would devastate me

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19 minutes ago, Marc878 said:

She didn’t come looking for you it was a chance encounter. Beware.

True!!! Very true. But when I mentioned I didn’t have her number she texted me so I would have it. SHE is the one who brought up she has been thinking about me..... I reciprocated after.... and SHE is the one who brought up the fact that she misses me when I responded to her text that it was nice running into her.

so, I’m not putting $50 on $5...... I’m just saying that before running into her I was just about ready to give up all hope as I ran into her the day after 4 months of NC.....now I have a sliver of hope.... but still doing NC as it is up to her to reach out to me

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