Should I (25M) break up with my (26M) bf

[Apocalypsemeow]

So a few weeks ago he ignored me to go do drugs with strangers. I know this because he sent me a message that was meant for one of those strangers, he apologized but continued to do this. 4 days ago I asked if he wanted to go for a nature walk, he said "no i'm going to stay in." So i go for the walk alone, and on my drive back I see him going for a walk. No big deal. Following yesterday he asked to do something, I said yes and with anticipation I waited all day for a message. 9 hours later i sent him a follow up message, he replies with "i've been out all day, I don't want to do anything anymore today." Today he said he wants to play some video games so I log in and wait for his game to finish. He then tells me his team is full (of strangers he doesn't know) and they're on a winning streak so he'll "play with -me- tomorrow". I'm not angry at him though, nor do I ever expect to be at the top of anyone's priority list. I'm just so sick of being ignored by him. Like. Winning his game or doing drugs was more important to him. There was also a three day spurt of +20 degree weather and he cancelled and bailed on me on all three days. He complains about being depressed and being inside too much but never notices the causes of his depression. He also drinks too much. And time and time again i'm always put at the bottom of his priorities. Another example.. he got really drunk and said he felt so alone. That hurt so much, to have him say he feels so alone when i love him so much. I told him that neither of us are truly alone, that i care about him. And he says "well i got you"... The way he said it, he sounded so disappointed. Like i didn't even show up in his thoughts. Like i wasn't doing enough to make him feel loved...

I'm doing everything i can to help him confront and handle his drug and alcohol addiction and his mental illness. Like being there every time he needs someone to talk to about his problems. Or supporting and praising him on his small victories. I love him with all my heart, he's not mean or hateful. He really is a good person, it just feel like he's not good for me.

4 years ago it took every bit of strength for me to kick my drug addiction and to not relapse. But from my perspective it looks like he's drowning in mental illness. And i've been spending so much energy trying to save him and keep him afloat that i'm exhausted. I'm worried that he'll keep kicking and screaming and drag me down with him, then i'd be the one who needs help. But it's just me and him so we'd both drown. Now i have a choice, just keep swimming with him, and keep trying and hoping. Should I let him go and forget about him?

[ShyViolet]

To answer your question: YES.

You CAN'T help him with his drug/alcohol problems.  If you are sober yourself, you should know that.  You can't solve someone else's problems.  And if you stay with him, yes he will drag you down with him.  This guy isn't ready for a relationship.  He doesn't even sound that interested in you.  Get out of this bad relationship.

[Apocalypsemeow]

Thank you<3 I needed someone to tell me that.

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Apocalypsemeow said:

 4 years ago it took every bit of strength for me to kick my drug addiction and to not relapse. 

Hanging out with drug users will undermine your sobriety.

You're at a weak point if you think you can "fix" him.

Get back to your support groups and associate with sober people.

[SumGuy]

On 3/28/2021 at 7:31 PM, Apocalypsemeow said:

.... But it's just me and him so we'd both drown. Now i have a choice, just keep swimming with him, and keep trying and hoping. Should I let him go and forget about him?

Let him go.  The drowning analogy you make is a very apt one.   You should have no regrets, you tried, but now is the time to let him go and move on...don't let him drag you back in.  Sounds like you had addiction issues yourself at one time, so you know the song and dance, the buttons he may try to push to get the support you provide back.  Don't drown for him.