She left me and took away my infant

[SRH]

I quit my job and was travelling extensively. I had been single then for some seven years. When i was in Cusco, Peru, I met this girl on Tinder. I am an Indian and she is a Peruvian. I am now 33 and she is 32.  Five months into dating i proposed her to be my life partner.

I flew her to India and we got married there.

She has three brothers who have their kids and live with their parents. One of the brothers (older) borrowed 5000 USD from me and did not return on time.

Getting married, flying in and out of Peru to India and every single thing was my expense (I am not complaining about it). My parents organised the event.

From her side, none of her family members took an initiative to get to know my parents or atleast to wish us. Since it was an expensive event, i ran short of cash. She insisted on buying gifts for her family (12 members). I made her understand that I did not have enough money then and maybe the next time when we travelled to India I could buy them something. To which she reacted weirdly and walked away in a train station (She speaks no hindi or English ). I got worried and ran behind her and found her. Eventually to make her happy I got a present for all of them.

We then flew back to Peru. The day we landed none of her family members came to the airport to pick us up. That weekend we visited her family and handed over the gifts. They took absolutely no effort to wish us or organise something for her and me.

Her parents offered us a place to stay in their house and wanted me to buy all furnitures, refrigerator, microwave (which will be used by everyone) and wanted me to pay them rent every month. I respectfully denied this. She got annoyed that I did not accept their offer.

I then rented a nicer apartment in the city centre and we lived there.

Eventually a few months passed and I called her brother (father of two) and asked him to return my money since it was more than 14 months the date we agreed on passed. To which he threatened me. I was upset (i did not express my anger to any one). I simply called her and told her the incident. She took absolutely no initiative there.

The following day, her mother called me and i told her the way her son behaved. She simply said that I should forget that incident as he was under the influence of alcohol.

I was going through some financial crisis then. None of her family members offered help in any form. Moreover, she too didn’t work and I was the only bread winner.

A few days passed since I had this issue with her brother, I asked her to speak to him and tell him to return the money. She reacted quite rudely. She called her mother and spoke with her. Her mother came home packed all her belongings (Including plates, spoon, forks) and left the house.

I was left with nothing and had to rush to a nearby shop in the middle of the night to buy everything.

A week from then, her brother returned me the money.

Three weeks passed from then and she called me and asked me to meet. When I met her she told me that she was pregnant. I did not know how to react. Well, i did not want to abandon her in that stage and agreed to continue the relation. That night I went to her house to help her carry all her belongings back.

Her younger brother showed up and started abusing me (using foul languages). She did not react to it.

We then moved back in to the place I was staying at. When the COVID-19 pandemic struck, I started loosing clients and eventually had to sustain with the savings I had. I did some sacrifices to make sure she did not lack anything during her pregnancy. Her family offered no assistance.

On a Sunday morning (when the curfew was at peak) her water broke. I rushed her to the clinic. I called her mother and she simply replied that she will try to come. We were then blessed with a beautiful girl in the morning. Her mother took her saliva and wiped it on my new born daughter’s face. I did not quite like it and after a few days I told my wife that it wasn’t a good gesture. She made up somethings to defend her mother.

COVID-19 cases started going up in Cusco, Peru and I told my wife that we will be in self quarantine for sometime to which she agreed. Her mother insisted on taking my daughter to her house. All her family members work in an open market and i did not feel that it was the right time for them to take my daughter to her house.

After a couple of months, her mother visited us and asked me to come to their house, I denied that. I explained that all her family members have humiliated me and I did not feel comfortable visiting them. Her mother started yelling at me and called me a “piece of s***”. My wife was around there but said absolutely nothing in my defence.

After that incident, her mother would phone my wife and they will talk for hours. After the call my wife would get upset and we will end up in arguments.

After a few days my wife told me that she was going out for a walk with my daughter and will be back in an hour. Three hours later she called me and told me that she was going to her house and is not intending to return to our house.

I got into depression and I fainted in my house. I was then admitted in a local hospital. I called her older brother to seek help, he did not answer my call. The next day i called him again and told him that I got sick and was hospitalised he simply said sorry and hung up.

No one bothered to call me or ask me if i needed something.

I then developed suicidal tendency. I called my wife and asked her if she would like to come back to which she put lot of unacceptable conditions.

Now here I am sitting in my house all alone, reminiscing my good old days with my daughter and with a fainting hope of the possibility of holding her again in my arms.

Should i still try to make this work?

 

[Wiseman2]

Take care of yourself. Get divorced as soon as you feel better.

[Keridan]

This is an impossible situation. She makes you so sad you faint and end up in the hospital and feel suicidal? Even if we are missing part of the story, it's unacceptable. You need to get away and work out shared custody.

You need to take care of your own life and health.

[d0nnivain]

Some how I think you are missing a whole bunch of cultural things in here.  I suspect there are traditions of which you are unaware & by crossing them you made your wife miserable.  She wanted her mother & he family.   You kept them apart.  

You probably have more money then they do & it may be their custom to live a more communal life.  I'm on your side financially but if you were outside the norm I can see why it upset your wife. 

You need to talk to her about what your wife's expectations about marriage are.  If she is religious talk to a member of her faith about the cultural norms.  Then find some way to come up with a compromise.