cleverusername Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Basically title. We know and hear about the red flags that mean "back off" or "get out" but what are the green flags that pull you in and make you interested? Specific examples or in general, just curious. Men and women welcome to comment. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Ease of conversation, steady interest, seeing them treat others respectfully, laughter, compatible ethics, great sex....and in this modern dating world, not seeing others. If I haven't quickly risen to the top of your list...and you at the top of mine, then 'meh'. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Consistent, reliable, kind, not overly pushy/aggressive, offers to pick you up for a date, laughter, good chemistry, similar values (but an ability to open my eyes to different viewpoints). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Cleavage on a date 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CollinW Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 When women approach, initiate communication and actually pay for dates. My wife aggressively payed for our second date and her lack of gender based entitlement is a major reason I married her TBH. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, cleverusername said: Basically title. We know and hear about the red flags that mean "back off" or "get out" but what are the green flags that pull you in and make you interested? Specific examples or in general, just curious. Men and women welcome to comment. She gets my allusions, esoteric cultural and musical references, conversant in history, science and philosophy, and can make me laugh as well as engage is subtly flirtatious banter. That will draw me in every time.... Edited March 29, 2021 by SumGuy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I needed that instant spark, chemistry, "love" at first sight. If I didn't think the guy was hot the 1st time I laid eyes on him that sexy feeling was never going to develop over time. I tried on 2 separate occasions, once in my 20s & once in my mid 30s when I tried OLD for the 1st time, to go on a date with a man who didn't rev my motor at the outset. Kissing each was not something I wanted to do & it make the whole date awkward & not fun. I stopped trying & learned to stick to the guys I thought were cute. Cute / Handsome was easy. Then they had to have something to say, be intelligent & quick witted with a great sense of humor. From there I was willing to invest time on a date to find out the rest: manners, morals, employment etc. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 Effort: Shows up with flowers, and him looking all neat and tidy smelling good. New shoes, nice shirt, hair cut.....car washed/clean inside and out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Good question, OP! Green flags: Honesty, kindness, caring, generosity, positivity rather than criticism, keeping their word. Open about their background (wait until you know them in context before deciding on this) - i.e. have met family, friends, or colleagues who know them well and respect them. Keeping in touch: erratic communication sows distrust and suggests disrespect. Not putting pressure on or moving too fast, wanting to get to know you but not pushing for intimacy before getting to know you. Clearly interested but not in a controlling or jealous way. Respecting your time as well as their own. Wanting the same things as you, e.g. marriage, children, where to live in future, that kind of thing. General compatibility, e.g. if they are an early bird and you are not, are they tolerant, can you work round it comfortably? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Mine are simple. They don't have any of these: Pride is an excessive belief in one's own abilities. Envy is wanting what others have, be it status, abilities, or possessions. Gluttony is the desire to eat or consume more than you require. Lust is a powerful craving for such as sex, power and money. Anger is the loss of rational self-control and the desire to harm others. Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain. Sloth is laziness and the avoidance of work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Av3ry Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Ability to cook decent meals, coz I enjoy cooking and often, I like to cook together. Playful, have a good (dark) sense of humour. Selfless but not to a point that they forget to put themselves first. Tidy (in all areas!), doesn't mind sharing workload (if we end up living together). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Putting in effort rather than sitting back and observing. Effort can take many forms, but it's more than simply showing up and looking pretty. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted April 5, 2021 Share Posted April 5, 2021 Being engaged in the world, having good values, treating other people well - all other people, being soft around animals, having more than a single brain cell, being upbeat, being open, being spontaneous but not irresponsible, being honest, being driven, standing out, helping out, and of course being hot helps 🤤 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 I loosely followed a rule of 3s: If the first date lasted 3 hours (or more), or I wanted it to last longer, I’d ask her out for a second date. If after going out on 3 dates I still was interested in seeing her again, that was pointing towards exclusivity. If I was still happy / interested after 3 months, that was a sign we’d likely be transitioning to a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 Likes animals, kids, or does volunteer work. Fitness. Interested in Video games, board games, or anything similarly geeky. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 Kind, responsible and consistent, similar values and goals, open-minded curiosity, highly sexual, creative, enjoys travel, art museums, and the outdoors, and extra bonus points (back in my prime, less so now) for engaging in martial arts and being fit and healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted April 20, 2021 Share Posted April 20, 2021 On 3/31/2021 at 4:11 PM, Wiseman2 said: Mine are simple. They don't have any of these: Pride is an excessive belief in one's own abilities. Envy is wanting what others have, be it status, abilities, or possessions. Gluttony is the desire to eat or consume more than you require. Lust is a powerful craving for such as sex, power and money. Anger is the loss of rational self-control and the desire to harm others. Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain. Sloth is laziness and the avoidance of work. And her favorite film has to be Se7en, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Syd8 Posted April 21, 2021 Share Posted April 21, 2021 My green flags for a woman: No kids No dogs Non smoker 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 Some form of mental instability /crazy tbh 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 Confident women get me all the time. Moth to a flame. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 Genuine interest shown from them where I have no doubt of their interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted May 12, 2021 Share Posted May 12, 2021 A pulse of 80, 15-20 if she’s an athlete... Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 (edited) I took this to mean "green flags" as in dating is going well. It's really simple, consistency and reliability. The other person wants to see you and talk to you often. They don't cancel/reschedule much. Their stories and facts they have told you about themselves are consistent. They are also consistent with any info you can dig up online. Openness about their family, friends, where they spend their time. If they can't see you, the explanation is transparent. I feel safe and comfortable, not constantly doubting their interest. If they are moving fast and proclaiming their romantic interest often, then this has to be consistent with all their actions. It can happen that people meet and just "know" they have met someone special (this is how I operate for example). However then it goes hand in hand with their transparency with adding you on social media for example and readily introducing you to friends/family. If they are generally moving slow and are hesitant to add you to social media and introduce you to friends - that's totally cool as there is consistency between words and actions. This person is just being cautious. However, if someone is moving fast and being lovey-dovey and full of romantic gestures but then stalls with something as simple as adding you to social media....something is fishy. This is how I test fast-movers and differentiate love bombers/players. Edited May 14, 2021 by Eternal Sunshine 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 15, 2021 Share Posted May 15, 2021 Jezuzzz , this sm stuff these days is insane isn't it. Thank God l'm not into it, l'm no where to be seen, neither is gf. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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