Neo58 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 Feeling so suicidal because my Partner, and mum to our 3 teenage children, the only reason for my existence, has thrown me out, and I dont know how it happened! Last year was the best years of our life, we did almost everything together, and were so happy! About 4 weeks ago, she started saying notifications on her phone were acting odd, sometimes making sounds and others not, mine were coming in at different times, (we have a joint business account) Other various things like her Facebook and google pages looked different. She started accusing me of changing them somehow, because I may have secret chat or facebook pages so I could have some privacy. Then it got worse by suggesting I had a devise to switch programs on and off, as she had heard some beeps around the room! (I didn’t know at the time, but seems there is a device to make your facebook instantly secure) I was so confused, and tried to google why she would think these things and found about something called ‘Paranoid Personality Disorder’ which I asked her to read and see if she could relate to anything. at first she agreed it could be, but small things kept happening, and she decided it was me, and that I was trying to make her sound like a psycho. One regretful time, we kept arguing and I felt like dying, so put a knife in her hand, pulled towards my chest and said kill me then, shocked myself, and walked away. I have been deliberately not touching my phone, or leaving it another room, to avoid any other phone glitches. The last time, I had sat with her all day, and she went to go on Twitter, but seemingly did not load instantly, and said what have you done, I said nothing, and she tried again and it loaded, but by then she had made her mind up that it was me, and started shouting and arguing for a long time. I just stood there silent trying to work out what to say or what to do, felt so helpless, my only thought was to text one of her sisters to talk to her, I told her what I was doing, then it all went up a notch and she fought with me trying to get the phone, she fell over, I tried to shut myself in my room, and called our sons, 17 and 23, to try and help calm her down. Now the 23 year old has serious depression, and called the police. after discussions they asked me to leave, because they did not feel safe with me. I really believe she has seen and heard all these glitches and sounds, and she thinks I am trying to make her go mad, but I cant convince her it was not me, so she sees me as a liar, an actor, and all she wants is for me to admit something I haven’t done. We both still love each other, and I cannot live my life or function properly without her, every moment of my day is consumed by questioning what happened. we have met since, and she says because she is so scared of losing me, she would rather not have me, and there is no chance of getting back together, she says in her heart she cant believe me and that I am still playing games when I express my feelings, and deep down she thinks I want freedom and she needs independence. It has left me completely devestated and suicidal. The only reason I am still living is because I cant bring myself to cause any more pain to her and all my children, and the hope there may be a chance to fix this. Please help Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 9 hours ago, Neo58 said: Now the 23 year old has serious depression, and called the police. after discussions they asked me to leave, because they did not feel safe with me. Yes, you're unstable, abusive and a danger to your family and yourself. Check into a clinic for mental health. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 I am so sorry this is happening to you. You have to get a hold of yourself. If what you are describing is true, your wife might have a mental illness but you can't fix that. She is not your only reason for living. You have children. They will be devastated by your death so find a way to hold on. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Check yourself into an ER if the urges are that strong. Get yourself a therapist. Get a lawyer if there are charges pending against you. While you are upset you are no good to yourself or her. Take some stock of your life from a safe place away from her for now. When emotional calm a bit talk to your children about their impression of mom. Really listen to their answers. If they support mom's version that you are to blame, take that to heart & make changes in your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 You need to seek professional help immediately, not only for you, but for your wife and children. Start with marriage counseling. Anything thing that is amiss (in terms of your wife having a mental illness) will likely be caught and addressed by the therapist. It sounds like she, you and at least your oldest son all need individual counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 You both need a psychiatrist. A marriage counselor isn't qualified to deal with this. Sounds like your wife may have paranoid schizophrenia. Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Marc878 said: You both need a psychiatrist. A marriage counselor isn't qualified to deal with this. Neither are we. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 54 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: Neither are we. That’s my point. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 I am sorry to hear what has happened, OP. Like others have said, it sounds like you both need to see psychiatrists. Your wife does sound as if she's going through some kind of severe depression or psychosis. Your reaction to her being upset with you, i.e. giving her a knife and suggesting she kill you, is not normal either. If the police were concerned about their safety while you were there, this is obviously a very tense and confused situation. I feel sure if you seek help and then your children encourage their mother to seek help, some good can come of this. I know you love her but something has clearly gone wrong and it is going to be a while before you can both see properly what is going on. Concentrate on getting help for yourself at this stage; you need support and psychological help, maybe medication if the doctor thinks that will help. All this will help you to cope with what is happening until the clouds clear. However much you love your wife, you are a person in your own right who has their own life and future. Don't give up on it because of a crisis now. There is a lot of hope that things will get better with the right help in place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Neo58 Posted April 3, 2021 Author Share Posted April 3, 2021 Thank You, most of you, I would like to say our own family has been shocked by this as it did come totally out of nowhere. Anyway, the outcome is that she totally shutdown and had an emotional breakdown, and is now in a mental health assessment centre. I wrote the OP in a rather depressed and shocked state, but can now say that I am staying strong to support her, the family, and our sons, and will be here for her. She is getting the help she needs, and hopefully starting the road to recovery, and yes, we will all need some help in the future, but she is the priority at the moment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Neo58 said: Thank You, most of you, I would like to say our own family has been shocked by this as it did come totally out of nowhere. Anyway, the outcome is that she totally shutdown and had an emotional breakdown, and is now in a mental health assessment centre. I wrote the OP in a rather depressed and shocked state, but can now say that I am staying strong to support her, the family, and our sons, and will be here for her. She is getting the help she needs, and hopefully starting the road to recovery, and yes, we will all need some help in the future, but she is the priority at the moment. You should really join her in the mental health assessment centre. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 7:20 PM, Neo58 said: Thank You, most of you, I would like to say our own family has been shocked by this as it did come totally out of nowhere. Anyway, the outcome is that she totally shutdown and had an emotional breakdown, and is now in a mental health assessment centre. I wrote the OP in a rather depressed and shocked state, but can now say that I am staying strong to support her, the family, and our sons, and will be here for her. She is getting the help she needs, and hopefully starting the road to recovery, and yes, we will all need some help in the future, but she is the priority at the moment. I am sorry you and your family are going through this. It is a genuine mental health crisis and your wife is getting help. I hope the facility is offering you counselling and support too as you have a lot to cope with. Wishing you all the best for the future Link to post Share on other sites
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