seeyoung87 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) So, my now ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for eight months. In the beginning I didn't want a relationship. He seemed to need one. I was honest and told him that I didn't want a relationship. Even going as far as to encourage him to date other people. He didn't want to. We continued seeing each other causally and he would tell me he didn't want to just be a hook up. He asked if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. I said, 'you can call me that if you want.' I know people reading this would say he's not to blame. That I ultimately decided to be in this relationship. I know. Long story short. I broke up with him today and I feel so bad for having done so. It's just I felt so selfish in the relationship. He did so much for me whereas to I did so little in return. He put me first. I put him second. He gave such thoughtful gifts and planned things he knew I'd like. I'd plan close to nothing and my gifts weren't as meaningful. He said he loved me. I said I liked him a lot. He cared so much about me. I told him it bothers me that you care so much and that's not okay to accept. It should be equal. I told him he should value himself more and know his worth. Don't settle. So, we had a conversation at work that ended up with me breaking his heart. I think there's something wrong with me. He deserves so much and I couldn't bring myself to give him that. He wanted to have more sex in our relationship. In the eight months we had sex less than ten times. I was thinking about it. When I'm in a relationship I rarely want to have sex. When I'm single I don't mind having casual sex. I won't ask if this is normal because nowadays normal is subjective. Has anyone else had such a psychological problem? Edited March 30, 2021 by seeyoung87 Spellijg Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 You did the right thing ending it. You're completely incompatible. It's good not to string anyone along. Next time, determine compatibility, sexually and otherwise much earlier on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeyoung87 Posted March 30, 2021 Author Share Posted March 30, 2021 Thank you. You don't understand how much I needed to hear that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 I agree that you did the right thing by breaking up with him. But you do need to do a deep dive with a professional into why you are OK with casual sex but don't like intimate sex with a committed partner, inside a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seeyoung87 Posted March 30, 2021 Author Share Posted March 30, 2021 3 hours ago, d0nnivain said: I agree that you did the right thing by breaking up with him. But you do need to do a deep dive with a professional into why you are OK with casual sex but don't like intimate sex with a committed partner, inside a relationship. I actually went to both a psychologist and therapist for seven months. The therapist was good, but never gave me a reason. I did introspection and came out with many contradictions. Link to post Share on other sites
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