Coffee shop guy and me?

[Gaeta]

Maybe the guy has a girlfriend too, he likes to look at you but won't make a move. 

Would it be hard to track him on social media?

[IrisZion]

8 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said:

As he is staring at you, you are staring back at him or at least he has noticed that you noticed him.

He is interested in you and he is wondering whether you are interested in him. He might not be the most confident man. He might be feeling a little intimidated by you.

If you happen to be helped by him, chit chat a little. Maybe ask him if he is a student there. As he gains confidence, he'll be more open 

I don't think he stares at everyone. He only stares at someone that he is attracted to and at someone that seems to be noticing him.

When you abruptly turned your head on him, he took that as a rejection so he acted cold as he thought you had lost interest or thought you were never interested.

He's so weird. I will crossing the shop that's all. There is a street in front of it and that's why I looked away as I have to see ahead. I wonder why he felt like I should keep looking at him. He was so weird that day. Definitely didn't want to serve me but the lack of staff available made him do it anyway.

He seems to gain a little bit of confidence. Like I wrote he waved at me to come to him instead of the guy next to him who was also free at the till too. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, IrisZion said:

How are my chances slim when he's the one always staring at me?

He likes ogling women/girlwatching, that's all. Also he is not going to cause difficulty where he makes his living by hitting on customers.

[IrisZion]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Maybe the guy has a girlfriend too, he likes to look at you but won't make a move. 

Would it be hard to track him on social media?

Could be. That's the thing. I don't know if he will say anything but the blatant staring doesn't help. Maybe he wants to cheat lol.

Trier to do it but couldn't find him. Just know his first name but couldn't find him on Facebook at least. On Instagram you never know what kind of names people use

[LivingWaterPlease]

It seems as though you're quite interested in this guy. Do as Gaeta suggested in telling him your name and asking his. Then when he stares give him a sweet kind of mysterious smile (as if you're thinking a secret in your mind). He will get the message. Also, you can always linger a tiny bit when you smile at him. After you do this awhile if he seems to warm up you can up your game. Tiny little increments of warm escalation.

[IrisZion]

9 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

It seems as though you're quite interested in this guy. Do as Gaeta suggested in telling him your name and asking his. Then when he stares give him a sweet kind of mysterious smile (as if you're thinking a secret in your mind). He will get the message. Also, you can always linger a tiny bit when you smile at him. After you do this awhile if he seems to warm up you can up your game. Tiny little increments of warm escalation.

I try to match his gaze but nothing comes out of it so i leave it. I thought he would smile if I stared back but he doesn't just like my ex used to do.  It's a bit hard to smile with the mask but you can tell if someone's smiling. 

2 days ago he kept staring while serving the other guy and I stared back but nothing happened. I also don't understand what he stares at lol. We wear masks. It's only when I'm outside the shop that he sees my full face without a mask

Edited April 2, 2021 by IrisZion

[LivingWaterPlease]

Just now, IrisZion said:

I try to match his gaze but nothing comes out of it so i leave it. I thought he would smile if I stared back but he doesn't just like my ex used to do.  It's a bit hard to smile with the mask but you can tell if someone's smiling. 

2 days ago he kept staring while serving ghe other guy and I stared back but nothing happened. I also don't understand what he stares at lol. We wear masks. It's only when I'm outside the shop that he sees my full face without a mask

He very well may be concerned about losing his job if he hits on customers. I know it's something (hit on customers) I would tell anybody not to do. I think do as Gaeta suggested as to telling him your name and asking his. If you are really stuck on this guy you can ramp things up gradually by showing him warmth in your interactions such as I wrote previously. If he doesn't respond, in any way you have your answer.

[cleverusername]

Have you ever considered the possibility you're starring at him and he's trying to figure out why?

[prince0fgame]

[redacted]

 Nature created females to be the seducers. That's why women are given feminine charms. As guys, we are naturally mysterious [redacted]

What you are experiencing is simply the masculine polarity. He's acting like a guy. But you need to act like a female. Don't try to read him. Seduce him. MEN try to read women. It's because we don't understand them.

[redacted]

From a guy's perspective, nothing validates his ego and mojo more than validation and a green light. You can simply achieve this with a "smile." That's right. Good ol feminine charm.

[redacted]

Edited April 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
doesn't address first post, divisive

[IrisZion]

23 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

He very well may be concerned about losing his job if he hits on customers. I know it's something (hit on customers) I would tell anybody not to do. I think do as Gaeta suggested as to telling him your name and asking his. If you are really stuck on this guy you can ramp things up gradually by showing him warmth in your interactions such as I wrote previously. If he doesn't respond, in any way you have your answer.

Yes you are right.  Will see if me being chatty helps.

[IrisZion]

9 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

Have you ever considered the possibility you're starring at him and he's trying to figure out why?

I dont stare at him. Half of the time I'm always in a hurry to rush to the library. I catch him staring and stare back 

[IrisZion]

5 hours ago, prince0fgame said:

[redacted]

 Nature created females to be the seducers. That's why women are given feminine charms. As guys, we are naturally mysterious [redacted]

What you are experiencing is simply the masculine polarity. He's acting like a guy. But you need to act like a female. Don't try to read him. Seduce him. MEN try to read women. It's because we don't understand them.

[redacted]

From a guy's perspective, nothing validates his ego and mojo more than validation and a green light. You can simply achieve this with a "smile." That's right. Good ol feminine charm.

[redacted]

  

I have smiled but he either gives the blank stare or can't understand.

Edited April 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Quoted post

[glows]

If asking him out or giving him your number isn't for you, it's unlikely he'll hand out his number to you while on the job. I know they make it sound so effortless and cheesy on TV and movies but it almost never works that way. Yes, enjoy the staring if you wish but this probably won't go anywhere - ever. As long as you're comfy with that and having fun with it, that's fine. I doubt he has any clue you're into him. 

[cleverusername]

*You order drink*

Him- "can I get a name?"

You- "only if I can get yours" *wink*

*gives you receipt*

*you write down your number on the tip line*

Then 2 years later you are married in an apartment thats too small with a 3mo old

 

[IrisZion]

4 minutes ago, glows said:

If asking him out or giving him your number isn't for you, it's unlikely he'll hand out his number to you while on the job. I know they make it sound so effortless and cheesy on TV and movies but it almost never works that way. Yes, enjoy the staring if you wish but this probably won't go anywhere - ever. As long as you're comfy with that and having fun with it, that's fine. I doubt he has any clue you're into him. 

A friend of mine said a guy who worked at this same chain of Cafe shops gave her his instagram handle. So it's not that hard.

But yeah unless he goes upfront , it probably won't go anywhere. Or if I see him when he leaves work I guess??

[IrisZion]

3 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

*You order drink*

Him- "can I get a name?"

You- "only if I can get yours" *wink*

*gives you receipt*

*you write down your number on the tip line*

Then 2 years later you are married in an apartment thats too small with a 3mo old

 

Lol omg 🤣 is this a shade?

[Gaeta]

 You know, if you give him your number and he doesn't text/call, you've got your answer. Just assume he has a girlfriend and the gesture will flatter him. That will just become a story to tell your friends. 

[prince0fgame]

17 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

I have smiled but he either gives the blank stare or can't understand.

I don't mean to brag but I have probably been hit on over 100 times by females when I was in high school and college (and work). So this is why I am so surprised that females in 2021 don't know how to seduce guys.

Let me tell you the number 1 move females use on me all the damn time. It's called "plausible deniability." An excuse to be alone. 

Example 1: I was a teen working at TGI Friday's and joked about smoking weed. She came into the break room and said "Hey I heard you were talking about smoking weed. Yeah we should do that together sometime." I was young and dumb and had no idea but what she meant was "I like you. Let's get together."

Example 2: I was working at victoria secret while in college and a female coworker asked me "Do you like lasagna?" And I was like "Yeah, I LOVE lasgana." She then said "Oh cool. I'm actually making some tonight. You should come over for dinner." Long story story we ended up hooking up because what she really meant was "Let's be alone."

All of my life, it seems as if females speak a universal language. They all know plausible deniability. The most famous of them all is "netflix and chill." Back in my days it was "let's smoke some weed." But we all know what that means.

And yes, you can randomly go up to a guy you like and just mention a movie you want to see but have noone to go with. 

He will catch the drift. It is a non-lose seduction tactic because it is not intrusive. It's just throwing out a bait. 

It has happened to me numerous times and even when I didn't take the bait, I never thought the female was desperate. I always thought it was tactful. 

Mention an activity you guys can do and give him an option to join. Noone's ego has to be hurt. He either takes the bait or doesn't.

Edited April 2, 2021 by prince0fgame

[cleverusername]

14 minutes ago, prince0fgame said:

I don't mean to brag but I have probably been hit on over 100 times by females when I was in high school and college (and work). So this is why I am so surprised that females in 2021 don't know how to seduce guys.

Let me tell you the number 1 move females use on me all the damn time. It's called "plausible deniability." An excuse to be alone. 

Example 1: I was a teen working at TGI Friday's and joked about smoking weed. She came into the break room and said "Hey I heard you were talking about smoking weed. Yeah we should do that together sometime." I was young and dumb and had no idea but what she meant was "I like you. Let's get together."

Example 2: I was working at victoria secret while in college and a female coworker asked me "Do you like lasagna?" And I was like "Yeah, I LOVE lasgana." She then said "Oh cool. I'm actually making some tonight. You should come over for dinner." Long story story we ended up hooking up because what she really meant was "Let's be alone."

All of my life, it seems as if females speak a universal language. They all know plausible deniability. The most famous of them all is "netflix and chill." Back in my days it was "let's smoke some weed." But we all know what that means.

And yes, you can randomly go up to a guy you like and just mention a movie you want to see but have noone to go with. 

He will catch the drift. It is a non-lose seduction tactic because it is not intrusive. It's just throwing out a bait. 

It has happened to me numerous times and even when I didn't take the bait, I never thought the female was desperate. I always thought it was tactful. 

Mention an activity you guys can do and give him an option to join. Noone's ego has to be hurt. He either takes the bait or doesn't.

Yep happens to me too;

Her- "I work from home so if you ever want to meet-up for coffee in the lobby, it's always nice to have some human interaction"

Me- "Yeah, I'd love that!"

Also me 4 weeks later: "wow, I completely forgot about that coffee offer. I've seen her like 8 times since then....oops"

Edited April 2, 2021 by cleverusername

[Gaeta]

13 minutes ago, prince0fgame said:

Example 1: I was a teen working at TGI Friday's and joked about smoking weed. She came into the break room and said "Hey I heard you were talking about smoking weed. Yeah we should do that together sometime." I was young and dumb and had no idea but what she meant was "I like you. Let's get together."

Example 2: I was working at victoria secret while in college and a female coworker asked me "Do you like lasagna?" And I was like "Yeah, I LOVE lasgana." She then said "Oh cool. I'm actually making some tonight. You should come over for dinner." Long story story we ended up hooking up because what she really meant was "Let's be alone."

These women were already in your environment. You knew these women and knew they were single.  It's more touchy when it's about approaching a stranger. I cannot see myself hinting to a stranger I'm open to go see a movie when we have not exchanged basic information first. 

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

Yep happens to me too;

Her- "I work from home so if you ever want to meet-up for coffee in the lobby, it's always nice to have some human interaction"

Me- "Yeah, I'd love that!"

Also me 4 weeks later: "wow, I completely forgot about that coffee offer. I've seen her like 8 times since then....oops"

This is someone  you already had interaction with? 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, IrisZion said:

 I thought he would smile if I stared back but he doesn't just like my ex used to do.

You're not ready to date and he's clearly not interested so relax and enjoy the (strange) attention.

[IrisZion]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You're not ready to date and he's clearly not interested so relax and enjoy the (strange) attention.

Not ready to date why?.

[cleverusername]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

This is someone  you already had interaction with? 

Yeah, just in passing though. Nothing 1 on 1

[IrisZion]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

These women were already in your environment. You knew these women and knew they were single.  It's more touchy when it's about approaching a stranger. I cannot see myself hinting to a stranger I'm open to go see a movie when we have not exchanged basic information first. 

I agree with him. He behaves like my ex but like i mentioned my ex was a student at my uni. I saw him around and there is generally a level of trust and comfort with another student. Even if he's a stranger