Coffee shop guy and me?

[Maldives]

I think it would be very difficult for him to ask you out in that environment because it could potentially be his job on the line. 

Bumping into him needs to happen outside that work environment. That's a hard one I truly believe if it's meant to be the universe will bring you together not say you purposely orchestrating the meet if you know what I mean 

[Wiseman2]

Interestingly he's just making a living doing his work (of course with a look but don't touch policy) and you have this entire romance scenario going on replete with a thought train for him, complete rundowns of every case scenario,etc.

Most importantly he reminds you of the exbf. Enjoy the coffee. Get involved in more campus activity and dating apps and start talking to and meeting men. 

[IrisZion]

7 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

I think it would be very difficult for him to ask you out in that environment because it could potentially be his job on the line. 

Bumping into him needs to happen outside that work environment. That's a hard one I truly believe if it's meant to be the universe will bring you together not say you purposely orchestrating the meet if you know what I mean 

Yeah I guess so. I agree on this 

[IrisZion]

So update

I went to the shop today and he was there. This time the shop was a bit quieter than it is so he was the only person on the till and his colleagues were behind him , doing their work.

He waved at me again to come and get billed and I did ask how he was to which he replied he was good. He billed me for a hot drink and a croissant but told his barista colleague to make 2 hot drinks. He said one drink is for free all while constantly staring at me. He also gave me one more croissant for free which I told him not to as it could cause him trouble if he starts handing out free stuff but he said it's OK and laughed.

I went over to the counter to wait and he started handing out drinks to other customers. When both my drinks were ready, he gave them to me, all while touching my hand and said I have beautiful eyes in Spanish (translated them in English when I asked him what it meant). He still stared at me and I said thanks and he waved bye, blowing me a kiss.

OK so now I'm beginning to feel he's taking further steps??? 

Edited April 5, 2021 by IrisZion

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, IrisZion said:

all while touching my hand and said I have beautiful eyes in Spanish (translated them in English when I asked him what it meant). He still stared at me and I said thanks and he waved bye, blowing me a kiss.

OK so now I'm beginning to feel he's taking further steps??? 

hahaha, I love Latin men but you've got to understand they lay it thick with every woman they pursue. It's part of their charm. 

Yes he is taking further steps, give him your number. 

[IrisZion]

36 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

hahaha, I love Latin men but you've got to understand they lay it thick with every woman they pursue. It's part of their charm. 

Yes he is taking further steps, give him your number. 

Lay it thick means???

He's Latin (Colombia) but was living in Spain for a few years

Edited April 5, 2021 by IrisZion

[Gaeta]

1 minute ago, IrisZion said:

Lay it thick means???

Heavy on compliments.

It's more custom to say something more conservative on a first approach like *you look nice today* then blowing kisses

[IrisZion]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Heavy on compliments.

It's more custom to say something more conservative on a first approach like *you look nice today* then blowing kisses

Oh I see.

But what do you think he wants? Dating or one night stands type of thing?? The excessive staring is the main thing.

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

Oh I see.

But what do you think he wants? Dating or one night stands type of thing?? The excessive staring is the main thing.

Impossible to know. You need to give him your number and his words and actions will speak volume on what he wants.

Don't be afraid to take a risk. If he just wants to hook up you'll recognize it and you drop him.

[IrisZion]

9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Impossible to know. You need to give him your number and his words and actions will speak volume on what he wants.

Don't be afraid to take a risk. If he just wants to hook up you'll recognize it and you drop him.

He hasn't attempted to touch me at least till now. Whenever he gives change, he hasn't made any move which looks like he wanted to touch or anything but yeah like you said ??

[Gaeta]

If you give him your number he should come up with a date short after. 

Are you still hesitating?

[IrisZion]

13 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

If you give him your number he should come up with a date short after. 

Are you still hesitating?

A little bit. As I'm unsure of whether he wants to hook up. ??? I feel like we don't have much in common and the intense staring on his part seems like an indicator that he wants to get laid?

[ExpatInItaly]

4 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

A little bit. As I'm unsure of whether he wants to hook up. ??? I feel like we don't have much in common and the intense staring on his part seems like an indicator that he wants to get laid?

Where are you getting that from?

None of us can tell you what his intentions are, and given that you don't know him, neither can you. You don't know what you might have in common (or not) or if he's just looking for a hook-up. 

Try not to make assumptions based on almost zero information. Give him your number and let him show you what it is he wants. 

Edited April 5, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[Gaeta]

Write on a small piece of paper your name and number and with the note I'm free for a date 😉

So lets say this guy is only interested in a hookup, where is the problem? You have the power of saying *no thank you*. He invites you to his house for a 'date' you say no. You only accept a real date invitation, don't have sex on your first 3 dates, by then you'll have a better look at him. 

[IrisZion]

15 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Write on a small piece of paper your name and number and with the note I'm free for a date 😉

So lets say this guy is only interested in a hookup, where is the problem? You have the power of saying *no thank you*. He invites you to his house for a 'date' you say no. You only accept a real date invitation, don't have sex on your first 3 dates, by then you'll have a better look at him. 

I think he knows my name as he saw the student card. Not 100% sure but the name of my uni was clearly visible. 

Yes will try that 

[IrisZion]

23 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Where are you getting that from?

None of us can tell you what his intentions are, and given that you don't know him, neither can you. You don't know what you might have in common (or not) or if he's just looking for a hook-up. 

Try not to make assumptions based on almost zero information. Give him your number and let him show you what it is he wants. 

A friend said if he truly wanted a relationship hs wouldn't be staring so much and only wants to get laid?

 

But yes I will do as you and Gaeta are suggesting 

[smackie9]

27 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

A little bit. As I'm unsure of whether he wants to hook up. ??? I feel like we don't have much in common and the intense staring on his part seems like an indicator that he wants to get laid?

Whether they want a GF or a hook up all men want to get laid. So of course he wants to have sex with you. You won't find out if that is all he wants unless you go out with him. You have all the control if sex is going to happen or not.

Edited April 5, 2021 by smackie9

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

A friend said if he truly wanted a relationship hs wouldn't be staring so much and only wants to get laid

is your friend Columbian? You have to consider cultural differences here. Like I said Latin men are charmers. They also have serious relationships, they marry, have children and date seriously, but they are more charmers than your usual western man.

Edited April 5, 2021 by Gaeta

[ExpatInItaly]

9 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

A friend said if he truly wanted a relationship hs wouldn't be staring so much and only wants to get laid?

Your friend is making baseless assumptions.

Does your friend know this man personally? If not, she (or he) is conjuring up ideas out of thin air. 

Edited April 5, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[IrisZion]

43 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

is your friend Columbian? You have to consider cultural differences here. Like I said Latin men are charmers. They also have serious relationships, they marry, have children and date seriously, but they are more charmers than your usual western man.

No she's not Columbian. One is Asian and the other is Italian

[Wiseman2]

All you know is he seems attracted. You can't possibly decipher his intentions at this point.

[IrisZion]

40 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

All you know is he seems attracted. You can't possibly decipher his intentions at this point.

Weren't you saying before I cooked up this romantic scenario in my head?

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

Weren't you saying before I cooked up this romantic scenario in my head?

All you know now with your latest post is that he's attracted, however there is not relationship going on. 

[mark clemson]

5 hours ago, IrisZion said:

A little bit. As I'm unsure of whether he wants to hook up. ??? I feel like we don't have much in common and the intense staring on his part seems like an indicator that he wants to get laid?

I suspect the "staring" is part of his "wooing" approach, and indicates his interest in you. As a male generally, getting laid will be part of the romantic picture. There's no good way to find out if that's ALL he wants except to move forward at a moderate pace and then find out if he gets frustrated extremely quickly.

There is a 3-date rule out there, which like many "rules" is somewhat arbitrary and does not suit everyone. But consider that IF you are the type of woman who takes months to be ready for sex, then he may walk before you're ready. There's nothing inherently wrong with this type/approach - you are who you are. But many men will feel the relationship isn't advancing if it's weeks and weeks. The 3 date "rule" prevents women from getting "exploited" for sex too quickly and also prevents the guy from getting "exploited" for free meals and such (by some insincere women) for too long.

He could (in theory) walk after 3 dates and sex. But then again, he could walk at, essentially, any time. This is dating after all.

Apologies if all the above is elementary/extremely obvious to you. We get all kinds of posters on this site.

Edited April 5, 2021 by mark clemson

[SaraSays]

I think you should just be friendly and keep chatting when you go in, and be open to it being something, or nothing. Mention liking the song that's playing, or something topical and lighthearted (a playful spin on a sudden change in weather requiring more layers of clothing, or an extra shot of coffee). Encourage a conversation. See if 1 flows. Ask him a question about himself each time you go in. Comment positively if he has had his haircut.

It's early days, and impossible to know if it's just flirting to pass the time of day, or something which could lead to more. I, myself, wouldn't give him your contact details just yet, mindful this is a place you frequent, and it all might be something and nothing. I've always found it charming when someone I randomly crossed paths with gave me a note with their details on it, when I was somewhere (despite it rarely leading to a connection). It has always been a little awkward when we both frequent the place, and nothing grew from it.

1 once came to think a lovely man working in a coffee shop was keen on me (he was chatty and shy, and his colleagues would draw hearts all over cups they gave to me when he had taken the order), but I left the country without knowing if there could be more to it, and I think there was a bit of a spark.

I had a group of men from the electricity board in my home 1 time, and 1 of them went on to email me at work spontaneously, and we chatted for a while, but came to realise there wasn't a lasting spark.