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My Wife Is Cheating on Me and Wants a Divorce


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Do not do the infamous “pick me dance” or try nicing her back. All that does is make you look weak and unattractive while making her other man look better.

Cut off contact except for kids and divorce,

If you chase she’ll just move farther away.

LET HER GO!!!!

Edited by Marc878
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By the time someone wants a divorce, they are already out the door. They have made the decision. There's nothing you can do to change their mind. Especially if she is cheating on you. 
 

The only thing you can do is preserve your dignity by not begging, chasing, ect. Cut off all contact unless it pertains to kids or the divorce.

Edited by BC1980
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The previous advice is 'dead on'.   She's cheating.  She wants to divorce.  You don't want to be with someone that doesn't want you though that can be hard to accept.  Let her go.  Divorce her quickly before her anger sets in even worse than it is.   Seriously.  Reread that part.  Divorce her ASAP (and sooner if you could).    Figure out your part in this and how to avoid it again, forgive yourself, and move on.   Don't resort to alcohol and drugs.   They won't help.   Be good to yourself.  Life will be hard for a while so at least you are good to yourself while circumstances won't be.   Recognize you aren't thinking clearly and don't make major decisions you don't have to.  It is a dangerous time for you.  Truly dangerous.  Lots of people get in car wrecks, lose jobs, etc while going through a divorce.   Try to be present.  Remember to eat.  The 'divorce diet' can be quite unhealthy.   Get in the gym and/or exercise as much as possible.   Find a healthy outlet.  

Let your wife go.  Don't argue with her, etc.  Avoid her as much as possible.  Go no contact unless absolutely necessary to discuss the divorce and/or kids.  Otherwise, just avoid her.   Give her what she is due in the divorce.  Don't fight over nickels.  Not worth it.  On the other hand, don't be a pushover and give her more than 1/2.  Be fair regardless of circumstances.  If you have kids then be the best father you can be.  You are divorcing their mom - not them.  Tell them you love them and you aren' t the bad guy.  Don't say bad things about your ex to them. 

Don't rush to date - at all.  Take time for yourself.   

You will survive.  Then thrive.  That's the goal and it is quite possible.  

 

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49 minutes ago, notbroken said:

Don't rush to date - at all.  Take time for yourself. 

Your entire post was great advice. I do want to call this out in particular. I made this mistake and started dating immediately. It was pretty comical and definitely not healthy for me.

If you can keep your feelings under control, do consider getting an FWB or something of the like. But seriously try not to date for a while. 

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