I have been sick for 1 and 4 month while in europe alone receiving experimental treatment I came home to an empty house my wife of 12 years left.

[snookin]

She hasn't called one time to ask how i am feeling.  I assume she is dating.  When i ask if she wants a divorce she says she has to think about it.  Also she keeps both of her profile picks on facebook of our marriage as her profile pics. The other strange thing is she moved a mile down the road from me.  She seems to want nothing to do with me, I'm very ill possible terminal and i just don't know how to deal with situation.  I can't believe she would treat me like this i just don't know what to do.  

Edited April 3, 2021 by snookin

[lovebooks]

Get an appointment with a therapist and discuss this.  Perhaps your wife will accompany you on a couple's visit.  If you are connected to a particular faith you may reach out to the counseling they offer there.  Your wife may not be able to cope with the fact that you are so ill.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, snookin said:

When i ask if she wants a divorce she says she has to think about it.  I can't believe she would treat me like this i just don't know what to do.  

Sorry this happened.  Sorry you are dealing with this illness. Consult an attorney and make certain you get legally divorced and change all your beneficiaries on all your accounts, policies, etc.

Have a bulletproof will made up by an estate attorney. If something happens, you don't want this witch to get everything.

In the meantime join some hospital and organization (for your condition) support groups. Take care of yourself. Enlist the support of friends and family.

Edited April 3, 2021 by Wiseman2

[snookin]

Thanks wiseman it seem like my only option

 

[snookin]

love book tried to get here to go to counseling she said she doesn't need it and that i do even though i have been going all along.  if we get a divorce the way it is set up she gets nothing if i die she doesn't have to work again

[basil67]

What was the state of your marriage before you got sick?  

[emprosnet7]

Do you have kids, family ?

[basil67]

11 hours ago, snookin said:

 if we get a divorce the way it is set up she gets nothing

Hmmm...given the divorce terms, I'm not sure why you expect her to come and visit you. 

Anyway, I don't know what kind of lawyers would have agreed to her getting literally zero if you divorced.  But at any rate, this would easily explain why she isn't rushing into divorce.   She's likely waiting for you to die.  If you push for divorce from your end, be aware that a judge would likely overturn the prenup.

"Sometimes, a judge might look at the terms of a prenup and raise an eyebrow. For example, if an agreement contains terms so unfair that one party would be left with absolutely nothing following a divorce, that contract probably wouldn’t hold up in court"   from Beier Law

Edited April 4, 2021 by basil67

[BaileyB]

17 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Have a bulletproof will made up by an estate attorney. If something happens, you don't want this witch to get everything.

Yup! I would give it all away to charity before she would get a penny. 

I’m so sorry this has happened. Sending healing prayers. 

[cyphorX]

7 hours ago, basil67 said:

Hmmm...given the divorce terms, I'm not sure why you expect her to come and visit you. 

Anyway, I don't know what kind of lawyers would have agreed to her getting literally zero if you divorced.  But at any rate, this would easily explain why she isn't rushing into divorce.   She's likely waiting for you to die.  If you push for divorce from your end, be aware that a judge would likely overturn the prenup.

"Sometimes, a judge might look at the terms of a prenup and raise an eyebrow. For example, if an agreement contains terms so unfair that one party would be left with absolutely nothing following a divorce, that contract probably wouldn’t hold up in court"   from Beier Law

I'm guessing her behavier did not change until he got sick, if that's the case she does not deserve a dime. as she is in breach of contract.  "in sickness and in health"

[snookin]

I thought we would be together forever until we got old.   She gave up on me within a month i felt like.  Never went to any doctors appointments,  When i travel to california  from florida   for two weeks of treatment she flew to Arizona and then to colorado to visit family rather then spending anytime with me while being treated.   The last time i saw her she said was pissed off at me she has to to start here life over.  Another phrase she as used a few times is just because your life is ruined doesn't mean both of our lives have to be.  She is really excited to start a family and says she doesn't want to be single mom.  She was always kind of a cold person to people she didn't know or didnt care to know, but now it seems like i am now one of those people.

[vla1120]

On 4/4/2021 at 11:43 AM, snookin said:

I thought we would be together forever until we got old.   She gave up on me within a month i felt like.  Never went to any doctors appointments,  When i travel to california  from florida   for two weeks of treatment she flew to Arizona and then to colorado to visit family rather then spending anytime with me while being treated.   The last time i saw her she said was pissed off at me she has to to start here life over.  Another phrase she as used a few times is just because your life is ruined doesn't mean both of our lives have to be.  She is really excited to start a family and says she doesn't want to be single mom.  She was always kind of a cold person to people she didn't know or didnt care to know, but now it seems like i am now one of those people.

I am sorry you're going through this, especially alone. What she is doing is horrible and there is no excuse for her behavior. I was married to an abusive, controlling man who was terminal and yet, I stayed involved with him to the very end so that he would not have to go through his illness alone. In fact, when I left him because we could no longer cohabitate (but I still went to his house every day after work, cooked for him, cleaned for him, took care of scheduling appointments, making sure he had medication, etc.), he threatened to get a lawyer and sue me for abandonment because I left the marital home. I told him to go ahead. He didn't have a leg to stand on because I was still involved in helping him and "upkeeping the marital home financially."

BUT!! I do know that Florida ALSO has abandonment/desertion laws. Constructive desertion (emotional abandonment) can be based on cruelty. Normally, it's harder to prove, however, given your wife's behavior, I definitely believe your case would probably fall under this category. You should talk to a lawyer. I'm not sure how the abandonment issue would benefit you, but anything you could do to punish her poor behavior would be most deserved. Again, I am sorry you are going through this.