Are good looks the only thing that is of value to women?

[Katkats7777]

Are good looks the only thing the counts to women, not how "smart" they are or if they have an Ivy League degree? Its like every time people first see someone they mention, "oh, how pretty" she is and I've seen how some people treat unattractive women, they don't treat them very nicely. And it doesn't seem to matter if they are smart, because they only thing people focus on women is they way she looks...its like what's the point of women studying and going off to college, if women are playboy playmate hot, then they will make a career out of that and who cares if she is dumb? Look at anna nicole smith for example, she had an 8th grade education, pretty sure she wasn't book smart only relied on her looks. 

Also, even nerdy geeky guys who are not that attractive will most likely choose the hot women regardless of her education? Right. At least that's what this guy told me one time, he said "everything is based on looks, they don't care about college education, if a man see's a cute bartender he will pursue her, of course she can't be trash." I'm like..ok...

Edited April 4, 2021 by Katkats7777

[basil67]

First up, the men who care only for "pretty", aren't worth dating.  The men worth dating are the ones who appreciate you on multiple levels.

Who told you that the purpose of a woman's education was to lock down a man?  I'm having difficulty believing that it was ever said...or at least, not said by anyone who values education in a woman.

Edited April 4, 2021 by basil67

[Katkats7777]

I'm talking about how important good looks are in women in society and in dating in general. 

[basil67]

Look around at the couples in the street. You'll see that many men and women are quite average looking, yet they have partners.   

Edited April 4, 2021 by basil67

[Weezy1973]

14 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

I'm talking about how important good looks are in women in society and in dating in general. 

Like attracts like. That’s all you need to know. Look up the matching phenomenon. 

[MeadowFlower]

1 hour ago, Katkats7777 said:

Are good looks the only thing the counts to women, not how "smart" they are or if they have an Ivy League degree? Its like every time people first see someone they mention, "oh, how pretty" she is and I've seen how some people treat unattractive women, they don't treat them very nicely. And it doesn't seem to matter if they are smart, because they only thing people focus on women is they way she looks...

 

Yea to some guys that is ultimately what matters. Guys fall for bodies rather than people. There may be a few men who actually fall for the woman herself rather than the body she's been given.

It's pretty lame, with little depth. 

Edited April 4, 2021 by MeadowFlower

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, Katkats7777 said:

I'm talking about how important good looks are in women in society and in dating in general. 

Looks are very important to most guys.  She can be a Rhodes Scholar and Nobel Peace Prize recipient all rolled into one, but if her face looks like the north end of a south bound cow, most guys just can't see past that.

Why?  Because we are biologically programmed to want to plant our seed in the most attractive women we can find.  Physical attraction is an outward display of good genes.  Good genes equals healthy baby.

[MeadowFlower]

3 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Physical attraction is an outward display of good genes.  Good genes equals healthy baby.

Absolute nonsense. 

4 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Why?  Because we are biologically programmed to want to plant our seed in the most attractive women we can find.

Maybe for the simplistic, nonintellectual, cave-man type of male. 

[Trail Blazer]

14 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said:

Yea to some guys that is ultimately what matters. Guys fall for bodies rather than people. There may be a few men who actually fall for the woman herself rather than the body she's been given.

It's pretty lame, with little depth. 

Oh, please!  Guys being attracted to attractive women is just normal.  Don't tell me that you're not attracted to a handsome man and try and keep a straight face!

I can only speak for myself and say that I don't fall for bodies.  Yeah, I'm attracted to beautiful women, but that doesn't mean I'll just fall for every beautiful woman I come into contact with.

Who a woman is is as equally important to me as how she looks.  Yes, if I am not physcially attracted to her, she's never going to win me over in a romantic way, even if she's an amazing person.  

Equally, if she's hot she'll pique my interest, but if she's got nothing between the ears I'm going to be bored out of my brain being with her.  I would only be with someone like that for a f*#k buddy relationship.

If I'm going to entertain a proper, romantic relationship with someone, I'd expect them to be as equally intelligent, kind, funny and all those good traits, as she is beautiful.  There's nothing wrong with having standard.

[Dis]

9 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Looks are very important to most guys.  She can be a Rhodes Scholar and Nobel Peace Prize recipient all rolled into one, but if her face looks like the north end of a south bound cow, most guys just can't see past that.

Why?  Because we are biologically programmed to want to plant our seed in the most attractive women we can find.  Physical attraction is an outward display of good genes.  Good genes equals healthy baby.

Guys are visual beings and I'm sure many people won't like this answer but it's true 

 

Like on OLD, don't even need a bio....just put pics up and bam...tons of messages 

[Trail Blazer]

4 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said:

Absolute nonsense. 

No, it's not...

11 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said:

Maybe for the simplistic, nonintellectual, cave-man type of male. 

Again, I disagree.  How can you say describe guys who find beautiful women attractive as all being the descriptor above?

[Trail Blazer]

10 minutes ago, Dis said:

Guys are visual beings and I'm sure many people won't like this answer but it's true 

 

Like on OLD, don't even need a bio....just put pics up and bam...tons of messages 

Girls are visual beings, too.  I didn't need a bio, just photos and the matches rolled in.

Yes, some people won't like my answer but that is because some people don't like the truth.

[MeadowFlower]

1 minute ago, Trail Blazer said:

No, it's not... 

Yes. It certainly is. 

2 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

How can you say describe guys who find beautiful women attractive as all being the descriptor above?

It's not about finding beautiful women attractive. Of course beautiful women are attractive. You will never see it because you are a basic male. 

[Dis]

2 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Girls are visual beings, too.  I didn't need a bio, just photos and the matches rolled in.

Yes, some people won't like my answer but that is because some people don't like the truth.

True though

 

There are some men on OLD with absolute nonsense written in their bios or nothing at all but as long as they're attractive they get flooded with messages 

 

Then there are the women and men who like someone pretty/handsome to look at but also need a little more substance to get something off the ground 

 

Depends on the person and what's important to them

 

I personally need attraction and a deeper connection and at this point I'd forgo the most attractive looking guys for stability and someone who treats me as long as there's attraction there...and attraction does build sometimes too 

[Trail Blazer]

1 minute ago, MeadowFlower said:

Yes. It certainly is. 

You can have your opinion, but the scientific consensus suggests you're wrong.  So, I'll go with that.  You keep believing whatever helps you sleep at night.

2 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said:

It's not about finding beautiful women attractive. Of course beautiful women are attractive. You will never see it because you are a basic male. 

I've literally just said twenty minutes ago that looks are as equally important to me as everything else.

I'm not a "basic male" for only entertaining relationships with people I'm sexually attracted to.  That's called sensible male.

Why do you think people should date people they don't find sexually attractive?

[Trail Blazer]

1 minute ago, Dis said:

True though

 

There are some men on OLD with absolute nonsense written in their bios or nothing at all but as long as they're attractive they get flooded with messages 

 

Then there are the women and men who like someone pretty/handsome to look at but also need a little more substance to get something off the ground 

 

Depends on the person and what's important to them

 

I personally need attraction and a deeper connection and at this point I'd forgo the most attractive looking guys for stability and someone who treats me as long as there's attraction there...and attraction does build sometimes too 

Sure.  But you're not going to glean much from reading their bios, are you?

I asked my girlfriend when she was on dating apps whether she read bios.  She only swiped based on looks.  She did not have time to read through bios.  Almost every swipe was a match anyway, so she'd just talk to them and go from there.

I think all humans ultimately want more than just looks.  You want someone you can connect with and feel comfortable being around.  You want someone to love being with you equally.  That equals security and every human being requires a level of security in a committed relationship.

[Dis]

4 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Sure.  But you're not going to glean much from reading their bios, are you?

I asked my girlfriend when she was on dating apps whether she read bios.  She only swiped based on looks.  She did not have time to read through bios.  Almost every swipe was a match anyway, so she'd just talk to them and go from there.

I think all humans ultimately want more than just looks.  You want someone you can connect with and feel comfortable being around.  You want someone to love being with you equally.  That equals security and every human being requires a level of security in a committed relationship.

I've actually read some decent bios and I do appreciate them when I see them. I personally put effort into my bio so I like when a guy does too. 

 

I swipe based on looks and compatibility because even though I match with almost every guy I swipe right on, I don't need matches if the guy isn't compatible with me and it's not going to go anywhere. Last time I used OLD I focused more on quality rather than quantity. But that doesn't mean just because a guy doesn't have good bio I won't swipe right. I've found most men aren't wordsmiths but if their basic intentions match up with mine then it's a go. Without compatibility you can't find something lasting and fulfilling. 

[Trail Blazer]

1 minute ago, Dis said:

I've actually read some decent bios and I do appreciate them when I see them. I personally put effort into my bio so I like when a guy does too. 

 

I swipe based on looks and compatibility because even though I match with almost every guy I swipe right on, I don't need matches if the guy isn't compatible with me and it's not going to go anywhere. Last time I used OLD I focused more on quality rather than quantity. But that doesn't mean just because a guy doesn't have good bio I won't swipe right. I've found most men aren't wordsmiths but if their basic intentions match up with mine then it's a go. Without compatibility you can't find something lasting and fulfilling. 

It's interesting when people talk about looks because they are subjective.  My girlfriend certainly didn't swipe on every good-looking guy. 

She said she didn't need to read bios to get a guage on what kind of guy they were a lot of the times.  She wouldn't swipe right on "douchebags posing shirtless" or guys holding fish, or petting sedated Tigers, etc.

I generally read bios once I've matched with someone.  I did read bios a little more when I used PoF as it wasn't a swipey app, so I would have to think a bit more before sending a measage.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Trail Blazer said:

Girls are visual beings, too.  I didn't need a bio, just photos and the matches rolled in.

Yes, some people won't like my answer but that is because some people don't like the truth.

If you'd used the words "many or most", I'd agree with you, however the problem with broad generalisations is that they can't be true because some humans don't fit the mould.

Me? I have an instinctive aversion to men who are classically good looking. Rightly or wrongly, I always assume they are vain.  Add muscles and it will be a double fail.   In a group of guys at the pub, I'd always go for the guy with average looks, but who has made an effort with what he's got, has a pleasing demeanor and is at ease in his environment.  

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately the way you are wording it in this black and white looks or brains thing makes this almost seem more like a rant than a question or discussion. In that case, there's no answer.

[Angelle]

5 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

Are good looks the only thing the counts to women, not how "smart" they are or if they have an Ivy League degree? Its like every time people first see someone they mention, "oh, how pretty" she is and I've seen how some people treat unattractive women, they don't treat them very nicely. And it doesn't seem to matter if they are smart, because they only thing people focus on women is they way she looks...its like what's the point of women studying and going off to college, if women are playboy playmate hot, then they will make a career out of that and who cares if she is dumb? Look at anna nicole smith for example, she had an 8th grade education, pretty sure she wasn't book smart only relied on her looks. 

Also, even nerdy geeky guys who are not that attractive will most likely choose the hot women regardless of her education? Right. At least that's what this guy told me one time, he said "everything is based on looks, they don't care about college education, if a man see's a cute bartender he will pursue her, of course she can't be trash." I'm like..ok...

What's the point of women getting an education? They get to meet smarter men than those you've mentioned, or women. Whomever they're attracted to. They also get to have a career, make their own money, make their own decisions about their lives. I've never wanted to be Anna Nicole Smith. 

I've had people think that I'm ugly, and I've also been called a babe. My sister is the prettier one, but her now-husband hit on me several times. Less than two months before they got married, he said that I was "hot". 

Edited April 4, 2021 by Angelle

[Woggle]

Men are visual but so are women. If a man is very good looking and has nothing else going for him he will still have an easier time dating just like a woman. Ted Bundy had groupies and he was a serial killer and does Jodi Arias. It's sad but that is how society is.

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, Woggle said:

Men are visual but so are women. If a man is very good looking and has nothing else going for him he will still have an easier time dating just like a woman. Ted Bundy had groupies and he was a serial killer and does Jodi Arias. It's sad but that is how society is.

No, it's not how society is.  This is how a subset of society is.   

I think you'll find that most intelligent women might have interest in the attractive man who has nothing going for him when she first sees him, but loses interest as soon as he opens his mouth.   I dare say it's the same result for women who've got nothing to offer other than looks.

Edited April 4, 2021 by basil67

[hotpotato]

4 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

Like attracts like. That’s all you need to know. Look up the matching phenomenon. 

People looksmatch or the woman is prettier. Like definitely does not always attract like. I very rarely see good looking guys with ugly women. 

[Woggle]

5 minutes ago, basil67 said:

No, it's not how society is.  This is how a subset of society is.   

I think you'll find that most intelligent women might have interest in the attractive man who has nothing going for him when she first sees him, but loses interest as soon as he opens his mouth.   I dare say it's the same result for women who've got nothing to offer other than looks.

I think it is more people than you think and that goes for men and women. I have friends who put up with being treated like complete garbage and it is because the woman is hot. They like to have that arm candy in public to tell other people that they made it. Is a status symbol. Why do you think that Jeff Bezos dumped his ex who there for him when he had nothing and to me is actually much more attractive than the woman he left her for? It is because a new trophy woman is a status symbol to him. As women gain more independence and success they are becoming the same exact way. You will start seeing more young and hot trophy husbands in the coming years.