Broken Heart

[CKT]

My boyfriend (well, now ex) and I had been dating for a year and a half when his mental health started declining. I was trying to push him to get help (therapy & medication) but he just wouldn’t take the leap and he ended up breaking up with me seemingly out of nowhere. I cut contact with him and he told me he was going to try and do whatever he could to have a second chance. Fast forward to 2 months after we had broken up and I got a very concerning text from him so I reached out to one of his friends. He told me he started using prescription pills and had spiralled out of control. He had tried to commit suicide and I ended up stepping in and coaxing him to get help. 
 

We have been trying to work on things but stupid me should have known that a relationship would have been too much for him to handle right now. We broke up for a second time today because our relationship has given him too much extra stress and he doesn’t know who he is or what he wants anymore. 

He has money issues and is thousands of dollars in debt, he’s 5-6 months behind on all of his bills and is too broke to afford therapy. I’ve offered to help him out financially but he always declines. The medication he’s on currently is clearly not working for him and he’s not getting enough help to get his depression under control. 
 

It’s almost like he’s a completely different person now. I can’t say or do anything right, little things set him off and he can’t let go of certain things that have happened in the past. He ended up sleeping with someone else while we weren’t together which has been very difficult to deal with but I’m forced to accept it and move on while he still harbours on things from our past. He can do and say whatever hurtful things he wants and his excuse is always that he’s not doing well or that he doesn’t remember saying it because of all the medication he’s on. 
 

I try to be as supportive as possible but it’s so difficult to want to be around someone who feels like they’re 1000 miles away all the time and could care less about being with you. It’s started to take a toll on my own mental health because I feel like I’m drowning trying to keep him afloat. 
 

Ive tried to help get him on the right track but it’s like the old saying “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t force a horse to drink”. I guess some part of me wanted to be able to save him and part of me is hurt because he claims he loves me so much so how could he just give up so easily. 
 

I know it’s all very selfish of me and I haven’t struggled with this deep of depression so I can’t understand where he’s coming from. I guess I’m just really hurt because even through all of this stress and anxiety and how he’s treated me over the last couple months I would never give up on him because I love him. 
 

I don’t even know why I’m on here. I guess I’m hoping maybe someone has a similar experience or I just want to hear that everything is going be okay. I lost my dog to cancer this year and most of my life savings to vet bills and COVID and now this. He’s my best friend and I just feel so alone. 

[Sun Seeker]

It's not your job to save him.

Cut him out of your life for good. Not sure why you haven't already. You don't need people like this in it. He's not good for you and you know that already.

Plenty of other men out there.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, CKT said:

. He had tried to commit suicide 

Sorry this happened. He needs a psychiatrist, not a relationship.

You need to step back and stop trying to fix and change him.

[d0nnivain]

Unless you have a side gig as a psychiatric nurse or want one, you need to leave this man alone.   You saw the decline.  You offered suggestions. He made the choice not to help himself.  Things got worse.  You broke up.  Then things got really bad including prescription meds abuse & a suicide attempt.  This man is not presently capable of being in a relationship.  Let him go.  Pray for him if you are a person of faith but do not delude yourself into thinking you can love him through this of throw a few bucks at the problem to catch him up on his bills.  It's far too complex for that.