dollparts Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 Been together going on 18 years, married for almost 4. I recently had a baby, she is now 5 months old. During my entire pregnancy I was madly in love with my husband - even though he did treat me horribly at times (called me the B word, made me cry, told me not to ask him for help anymore even though I was on strict bed rest) I still wanted him around. Now that I am coming to my sense and my hormones are shifting, I despise him. The way he acted during my pregnancy and labor/giving birth is getting to me. I know that was 5 months ago but it’s still fresh on my mind. I don’t want to be around him anymore, I hate everything about him. I hate how cluttered our condo is, everything is black on black (decor) because HE CHOSE IT. He doesn’t let me have a say in anything. I’m sick of it all, being put on the back burner. I hate him!! I recently received a settlement for a car accident that I had a couple of years ago, and my husband went ballistic, accusing me of acting “better “ than him and that I’m acting “rich” because I bought myself a (used) car. I hadn’t owned a car in 4 years and I needed one because I’m going back to school and entering a new career yet he still pressured me NOT to buy it. I did anyway. last night around 6am I caught him touching himself as I slept. I woke up briefly and laid there trying not to move and my bladder was sooo full. I didn’t want to interrupt and make things awkward. I don’t have an issue with men doing this but... we NEVER have sex anymore. I’ve been asking for a couple of days now and he blows me off. He didn’t get to finish because our dogs barked out of nowhere and I used that as an opportunity to “fake” wake up and go to the restroom. Today, I asked him if he wanted to have sex. I was willing to do anything for him and he declined. this makes me hate him even more. I just don’t care anymore and I want out. I want my own furniture, my own everything. My own space, my own bed. It’s too crowded here and I feel suffocated like I’m going insane!!!! I don’t wanna be with him anymore!!! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 Have you two tried to fix things through marriage counseling? Perhaps you can find your back to a happy place. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 Talk to an attorney privately and confidentially (do not tell him, never threaten divorce) about what your options are in the event of divorce. Also confidentially and privately talk to your therapist about the emotional side of all this. Also do not tell him. When you have gathered enough information about your situation, reflect on which way to go on this and how to go about it. Hating him and begging for sex/affection is going nowhere, nor is protecting his jerkoff sessions. If you have to go to the bathroom go. Don't seethe with resentment. If there's a guest room or sofa ask him to sleep there for now. Or sleep in the child's room. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 11, 2021 Share Posted April 11, 2021 I can’t say that I blame you. A man who tells a woman not to ask for help when she is on bed rest while pregnant with his child is not a nice man. You’ve been together with this man for 18 years. You are just realizing this now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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