Saw this app called 'Kiss' on my girlfriends phone, it's not a dating app, but should I be concerned?

[RickCMC]

My girlfriend wanted to show me something on her phone. As she was swiping through her home screen I saw this app called ‘Kiss’. I wondered what it was so I went to the App Store and looked it up. It’s an app to read those steamy graphic romance novels. The thing is, she never once mentioned to me she likes those kind of books. I guess it’s like porn for women? Should I be concerned? Should I ask her about it? I kinda worry because maybe she reads those things because she’s bored with our sex life? 

[deepthinking]

Women read some stuff to relax, magazines say, we know we are reading rubbish and that is the point: a magazine is an easy read.

Porn for women?   Don't feel concerned.   Just ask her if she has any fantasies lately.  See what she says.

ps I would find being caught with a  crazy book a bit embarrassing, so go easy.

Edited April 9, 2021 by deepthinking

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, RickCMC said:

It’s an app to read those steamy graphic romance novels.

It's like 50 shades of grey or any other such reading material targeted at women. Why not download an ebook and read it?📚 

[glows]

I don't see why you can't ask her about it. Be curious and interested. It could very well be something she downloaded to check out one time and never deleted the app. Some people never ever delete apps. 

[Crazelnut]

Your GF reading romance trash is *threatening* to you?  This tells me more about YOU than it does about your GF.

[d0nnivain]

No you should not be concerned.  She's reading romance novels, not cheating on you.  Women read these things because they are like cotton candy . . .fluffy, fake & fun.  

If she is saying that she can't go on a date with you or have sex because she would prefer to stay home & read these stories, then you can get concerned.  But until then, it's entertainment.  

Since you now know she likes romance novels,  step up your game.  Plan a romantic picnic, have a candle light dinner, go dancing in the living room, take a bubble bath.  

 

[RickCMC]

2 hours ago, Crazelnut said:

Your GF reading romance trash is *threatening* to you?  This tells me more about YOU than it does about your GF.

It’s not threatening to me. I’m just confused as to why she never mentioned it. And concerned that maybe she’s bored with the intimacy she gets from me and that’s why she’s reading these things. 

[Alpacalia]

Men enjoy looking at anatomy, while women enjoy contemplating it. 🤣

[glows]

Do you feel like your sex life is on the rocks? Or do the both of you have any arguments? Issues in the relationship? I can't see why this would be important at all or worth mentioning. It would be good to reflect on the relationship as a whole if you think that she seems bored with you/ignoring you or doesn't seem as interested as she once was. 

 

[RickCMC]

1 minute ago, glows said:

Do you feel like your sex life is on the rocks? Or do the both of you have any arguments? Issues in the relationship? I can't see why this would be important at all or worth mentioning. It would be good to reflect on the relationship as a whole if you think that she seems bored with you/ignoring you or doesn't seem as interested as she once was. 

 

I wouldn’t say it’s on the rocks. We’ve been together almost 4 years. Unfortunately sex isn’t as frequent as it used to be. We average like once or twice a week.  I don’t know if that’s bad or not. I know some people will probably say that’s not frequent enough, but we both have a lot going on in our lives and are busy and exhausted a lot. Some nights we just want to go sleep without having sex. Lol. We almost never argue either. 

[dramafreezone]

4 hours ago, RickCMC said:

My girlfriend wanted to show me something on her phone. As she was swiping through her home screen I saw this app called ‘Kiss’. I wondered what it was so I went to the App Store and looked it up. It’s an app to read those steamy graphic romance novels. The thing is, she never once mentioned to me she likes those kind of books. I guess it’s like porn for women? Should I be concerned? Should I ask her about it? I kinda worry because maybe she reads those things because she’s bored with our sex life? 

This is your issue, not hers.

If you think you've been slacking in the bedroom, pick it up.   Why go through the awkwardness of expresing your insecurity to her like this if it'd just lead you to the same resolution anyway?

From your last post, sounds like you're more roomates than a romantic couple (though 2 times a week is pretty good).  Start dating your GF again.  You make time if it's important to you.  If you don't want to put forth the effort, maybe this relationship has run its course.

Edited April 9, 2021 by dramafreezone

[RickCMC]

2 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

This is your issue, not hers.

If you think you've been slacking in the bedroom, pick it up.   Why go through the awkwardness of expresing your insecurity to her like this if it'd just lead you to the same resolution anyway?

If I’m “slacking” in the bedroom, wouldn’t the right thing to do be her telling me that? I’m just supposed to guess that I’m not doing enough? Shouldn’t she be communicating this to me?

Edited April 9, 2021 by RickCMC

[dramafreezone]

5 minutes ago, RickCMC said:

If I’m “slacking” in the bedroom, wouldn’t the right thing to do be her telling me that? I’m just supposed to guess that I’m not doing enough? Shouldn’t she be communicating this to me?

How many times have you heard the story "she told me out of nowhere that she wanted a divorce?"  Go read the divorce board, it's the same story over and over, the guy had no idea there was a problem because she didn't say anything.

Look at her actions.  If she were as attracted to you as she was previously you would be having sex more often.  Certainly there was a point where she wanted to spend every waking moment with you.  A lot of women communcate a lack of interest by just pulling back, withdrawing.  You can't ever stop dating her.

Edited April 9, 2021 by dramafreezone

[RickCMC]

2 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

How many times have you heard the story "she told me out of nowhere that she wanted a divorce?"  Go read the divorce board, it's the same story over and over, the guy had no idea there was a problem because she didn't say anything.

Look at her actions.  If she were as attracted to you as she was previously you would be having sex more often.  Certainly there was a point where she wanted to spend every waking moment with you.  A lot of women communcate a lack of interest by just pulling back, withdrawing.  You can't ever stop dating her.

Wow ok. Those women, and I guess my girlfriend are horrible people then. If you aren’t interested in someone, break up with them. That’s what I’d do. 

[RickCMC]

10 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

This is your issue, not hers.

If you think you've been slacking in the bedroom, pick it up.   Why go through the awkwardness of expresing your insecurity to her like this if it'd just lead you to the same resolution anyway?

From your last post, sounds like you're more roomates than a romantic couple (though 2 times a week is pretty good).  Start dating your GF again.  You make time if it's important to you.  If you don't want to put forth the effort, maybe this relationship has run its course.

Roommates? We don’t even live together. 

[dramafreezone]

Everyone's not a direct communicator to just say what's on their mind.  Date your GF.   If you don't have time for it someone else will, I'm certain of that.

[RickCMC]

13 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Everyone's not a direct communicator to just say what's on their mind.  Date your GF.   If you don't have time for it someone else will, I'm certain of that.

Lol, if you don’t want to communicate you shouldn’t be in a relationship 

[mark clemson]

5 hours ago, RickCMC said:

 she likes those kind of books. I guess it’s like porn for women?

Yes, reasonably analogous from what I have read (A Billion Wicked Thoughts, which is a "big data" study of sexuality).

 

5 hours ago, RickCMC said:

Should I be concerned? Should I ask her about it? I kinda worry because maybe she reads those things because she’s bored with our sex life? 

Maybe, but consider this question - should she be concerned about your masturbation habits?

I think her being bored with your mutual sex life is essentially independent of her interest in romance novels, much like your level of satisfaction with your mutual sex life is probably independent of whatever you look at/think about when wanking it. You aren't going to magically turn into an emotionally damaged Viscount from the 1800s or whatever, just like she isn't going to magically turn into an asian BDSM nympho (or whatever you happen to look up online). Many if not most of us tend to accept what reality is actually likely to offer in our actual sex lives.

So she could be bored. But very few men will be actually able to provide what a romance novel offers. There are only so many handsome and alpha but slightly-damaged-and-in-need-of-a-woman's-special-touch genius heirs to family fortunes saddled with the responsibilities and ethical dilemmas of a position of power to go around.

[glows]

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

I wouldn’t say it’s on the rocks. We’ve been together almost 4 years. Unfortunately sex isn’t as frequent as it used to be. We average like once or twice a week.  I don’t know if that’s bad or not. I know some people will probably say that’s not frequent enough, but we both have a lot going on in our lives and are busy and exhausted a lot. Some nights we just want to go sleep without having sex. Lol. We almost never argue either. 

I think you're fretting and this will blow over. That you're taking an interest is a positive sign but overthinking it is just overdoing it. I'm a fan of communication. This is good communication within reason, watching tone and being open to what your partner is saying. Once or twice a week sex is great, especially considering you're not even living together. 

 

Edited April 9, 2021 by glows

[dramafreezone]

45 minutes ago, RickCMC said:

Lol, if you don’t want to communicate you shouldn’t be in a relationship 

Maybe stop thinking in terms of what should be and instead think of reality.  People are flawed and they always behave how they "should" behave.

Edited April 10, 2021 by dramafreezone

[deepthinking]

it's just a book,  please don't worry, I thnk you are insecure born that way,  honestly, she was browsing on-line and found this book

pay attention to everybody's advice, and jazz up your romantic-life and also sex-life, but it is just a book

[Interstellar]

Maybe she’s not getting any romance in her personal life. Do you still take her out on dates? compliment and show affection? that app alone should tell you something. 

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, RickCMC said:

It’s not threatening to me. I’m just confused as to why she never mentioned it. And concerned that maybe she’s bored with the intimacy she gets from me and that’s why she’s reading these things. 

Is it really note-worthy enough to even warrant a mention? 

I think it's triggering you because you have deeper concerns about the relationship. Address those head-on. The app means nothing. 

[lana-banana]

What? If you had an app for softcore erotica on your phone and your girlfriend posted about it, everyone would tell her to stop being ridiculous and that everyone fantasizes even in happy relationships. There is no reason to take this as anything other than what it is: your girlfriend has a healthy sex drive and enjoys reading steamy romance. That's completely fine.

[NYAG]

16 hours ago, RickCMC said:

My girlfriend wanted to show me something on her phone. As she was swiping through her home screen I saw this app called ‘Kiss’. I wondered what it was so I went to the App Store and looked it up. It’s an app to read those steamy graphic romance novels. The thing is, she never once mentioned to me she likes those kind of books. I guess it’s like porn for women? Should I be concerned? Should I ask her about it? I kinda worry because maybe she reads those things because she’s bored with our sex life? 

Be thankful she enjoys reading. I struggle to find anyone with an interest in books. Romance novels are not porn sites. Jilly Cooper is more graphic than a steamy romance novel and noone complains about her.