FitzyBoy78 Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Hi guys, Been dating a girl 2 or 3 months everything going good. Met over tinder during lockdown: Had a connection, got on great together. As hard as everything is we made it work. A week or two ago she asked to meet me and asked could we talk. Said she can’t be seeing anyone right now. Too much going on In her life with work(retail) she’s going for a manager role. Her younger sister had mental health problems so trouble at home too so she wants to be alone for a while to sort everything going on. She hasn’t said we won’t try again or anything but doesn’t want me waiting for her. Ended on good terms and still friends on everything. It’s a long shot but What should I do if I want her back. I’ve tried no contact and lasted only few days. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 You can't get her back. You never had her. It was barely 90 days. You don't even know each other all that well. What she said when she broke up was also a white lie designed to soften the blow. As much as you may have been into her, the feeling wasn't mutual. You just weren't doing it for her. Accept the rejection gracefully & move on. Somebody else is out there for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FitzyBoy78 Posted April 9, 2021 Author Share Posted April 9, 2021 She’s hinted at possibly trying again in future but I don’t know what to think. Thanks though Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 The "hint" is more of the sugar coating. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings because she doesn't like being the source of pain. She's giving you false hope in an attempt to be nice. It just makes it worse in the long run. Sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) There's nothing really to do except to accept it with grace and move along. Doesn't matter what you want. It takes two so if one says no, the thing stops. Regardless of the reasons.. she's not really okay to date. Please don't take this personally. Take a breather from dating for awhile and then meet others. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there again. Edited April 9, 2021 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Hints from exes are complicated and we spend entire day wondering what they actually meant. If she said in future then leave it on future, she doesn't want you in her present. For now you should move on its upto to you if you wanna just be there for her while she makes up her mind. There's no guarantee she will chose you again in future as things fizzled out very soon in your case. Life is too short to be put on hold for someone you just met a few months ago. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 She is trying to let you down easy. Like most you’ll take this as hope and linger in this awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, FitzyBoy78 said: Hi guys, Been dating a girl 2 or 3 months everything going good. Met over tinder during lockdown: Had a connection, got on great together. As hard as everything is we made it work. A week or two ago she asked to meet me and asked could we talk. Said she can’t be seeing anyone right now. Too much going on In her life with work(retail) she’s going for a manager role. Her younger sister had mental health problems so trouble at home too so she wants to be alone for a while to sort everything going on. She hasn’t said we won’t try again or anything but doesn’t want me waiting for her. Ended on good terms and still friends on everything. It’s a long shot but What should I do if I want her back. I’ve tried no contact and lasted only few days. I bet she'll be dating someone else in another month. You mean to tell me here sister just started having mental health issues? You should know right there that there's something rotten in Denmark. It's never good when you think everything is going well and she breaks up with you. You were way more into her than she was into you. She wants to date other people but do it in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. "Don't wait for me" makes it sound like she's doing it for your benefit but really means she doesn't see you two getting together again. Edited April 10, 2021 by dramafreezone Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 (edited) Sorry to hear this, OP. She just wasn't feeling it and is trying to be gentle in letting you go. If it fizzled out this quickly for her, it just wasn't meant to be. Her telling you not to wait for her is because she knows she won't be back. Edited April 10, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 (edited) Hey @FitzyBoy78, If a person wants to be with you, they'll be with you. They don't choose out. They don't typically slow things down. They don't take risks that could jeopardize the relationship. Why? Because they see a future with you and they want to realize it, with you. If they have problems and struggles in other parts of their life..they'll still want to get through it, with you. Forget her words..look at her actions. She left. You gave her time and effort and what she got from you, wasn't enough for her, to convince her to stick around. So, unfortunately, I have to agree with the others on this, in that she was letting you down "gently." Truth is, there is no gentle with a let down. It all sucks, so I understand it hurts and I'm sorry this girl put you through that. Get this girl out of your sight by removing her presence off of your phone and social media, so that you can heal and get to your best again, to find a woman who cares for you in the way you want. - Beach Edited April 10, 2021 by Beachead Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 Just let her go, accept it, and stop kidding yourself into thinking you can get her back. She needed to break up with you because she's going for a manager role in her retail job? Yeah, that is not the reason. She was using that as an excuse as an attempt to let you down easy. She's just not that into you. You were dating a very short time. It just didn't work out. Let it go and move on with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 ^^This. The change in job is simply sugar coating the breakup, trying to make it less painful for you so less guilt for the dumper. Link to post Share on other sites
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