Delete Wife from Social?

[panteraplan]

I posted months ago about how my wife and I are just on different belief systems.

I won’t repeat the content of that post but since then,, we’ve separated and I’m now living on a couch with a college pal of mine. She’s still in the apartment and I’m paying for that. She’s looking for a job. She is “heartbroken” over it that I’ve left but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I love her a lot and it pains me but I feel like it’s all wrong as well.

I just made a mistake: I picked the wrong person. I’m still aching over it a lot but in my heart I know it’s the right decision. I can’t be all dreamy about it, I need to be realistic. 

We’re still connected on Social Media but I’ve decided to lay low from posting anything. Taking a month to gather my thoughts and figure out next moves. My sister and a couple friends say that I should should deactivate Facebook and other social to make her feel life without me completely. That, maybe she’ll change once she realizes the value and love I brought that is no longer there. Maybe she’ll want things to work and she’ll miss me and want to change.

I just don’t feel that’s necessary. I’m aching and hurting and I suppose there IS a slight feeling inside that feels like if I’m out of sight, out of mind, she might find someone else or move on - even though I know that’s for the best.

I guess I’m just second guessing too much. 
 

what do you all think?

Edited April 11, 2021 by panteraplan

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. Speak to an attorney about divorce/annulment, since you've only been married so briefly. Yes. Delete and block her and all her people from your social media. If you need to communicate you can always text.

[trident_2020]

You probably need to go strict no contact to help you continue to move apart, and that means blocking her on social media but you don't need to deactivate it entirely to accomplish that task.

I don't believe that people change much if at all after they're say, around 4 years old. Ok maybe a bit older than that but certainly by the time we're in our 20s, 30s and beyond that's pretty much who we are, unless we're responsive to years of therapy with a qualified counselor.

Hoping she'll miss you and undergo this drastic change is a long shot at best. Any so-called "changes" will be short lived at best.

 

[d0nnivain]

You deleting your social media accounts will not make her change. 

If seeing her on social media upsets you, block her.  But there is no need to cut yourself off from other friends & family.  

[glows]

Deleting her from social media accounts to make her feel more receptive to you or affectionate doesn't make sense. Not only is it immature, it's manipulative. You already know it's not working so why prolong this? Talk to a lawyer and gain some sound advice about how to proceed. Avoid water cooler gossip with family members or friends. They may mean well but that sort of fodder isn't helpful to you in the least.

Talk to a lawyer and start working things out on your own, think things through and make peace with the marriage ending. 

[panteraplan]

She’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. Life will go on. Just glad we didn’t go through with having kids. That’d be way harder to deal with right now.

thanks for the advice

[ExpatInItaly]

16 hours ago, panteraplan said:

My sister and a couple friends say that I should should deactivate Facebook and other social to make her feel life without me completely. That, maybe she’ll change once she realizes the value and love I brought that is no longer there. Maybe she’ll want things to work and she’ll miss me and want to change.

If deactivating social media is the key to saving a marriage, well, you don't have much of a marriage to begin with. So I don't agree at all with your sister and friends who are suggesting this as a means to get her to appreciate you.

If it's hard for you to see her online then, sure, remove her. But for your own well-being, not as an attempt to get her back. It appears that you realize it's not a good plan and don't want to be married to her anymore anyway, though, so keep on trucking. 

Speak to an attorney about initiating divorce proceedings.