In a new relationship, but miss my ex boyfriend

[Fletch Lives]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why? Did they shut off your electricity again?

Do you recommend old guy, new guy or a completely different guy?

lol............no, my electricity is good. Me, that's debatable 😄

 

Well, she's fallen out of love with the first guy, and just trying to latch on to memories .... and the second guy, she just never really fell for, because she's not ready to fall in love again yet. So, it would have to be a new guy in the future if she wants romance.

Real love is not like you see in the movies. You get one chance per-person at love. If you want love again, you have to start with a clean slate, a new guy.

[Lotsgoingon]

Great learning opportunity.

As others have said, you got involved with new guy too fast. Three to four months after a breakup can work occasionally, but usually it works when people really HATED the previous partner and when they have emotionally drawn much much earlier than the official breakup. Most people need about a year if they've been dating someone for five years. You need to grieve and think and then not think ... and then date.

Yes, you need to break up with new guy. The rebound (the artificial high from new dating that occurs too soon after a breakup) has worn off. And that's the way rebound relationships are.

Sounds like you liked first guy, which doesn't mean it was a mistake to break up. But if you liked the guy and he wasn't a jerk, you probably needed some time to grieve and feel sad and feel the loss and get that out of your system. Sounds like now you are grieving. 

One mistake we often make when we break up with someone is that we can easily forget what drew us to the person in the first place. We can easily forget their strengths and what we really liked about them. So you might have had a good comfortable emotional connection with the first guy, and replacing him with someone with more similar tastes didn't mean you would automatically experience the good stuff you experienced with first guy.

Dump this guy--you owe it to him. 

And then take a break. And your goal is to look for people who have some of the strengths of original guy and some of the similarity in tastes and ambition that you were looking for.  After a break!

No, getting back with previous guy won't work. Why? Because right now in your delayed grief you are forgetting the things that REALLY got on your nerves. We do not break up with people casually. It takes a lot of effort and clarity to initiate a break up. You weren't making up your unhappiness. You're just forgetting it right now.

 

 

 

[deepthinking]

At least ring the ex you owe it to yourself to either put the past away or to learn where you both went wrong, you could both be happy.

I am responding to the fact that you "miss" him,  What are you waiting for?

Edited April 13, 2021 by deepthinking

[Dis]

I was in a similar predicament about a year ago

 

My ex and I had recently broken up and for the first time in all my break ups, I was pretty heart broken by it. But since we had only dated a few months I decided to get back out there. I dated some really good guys but kept passing on every one of them because I was still so hung up on my ex

 

Against my better judgement I contacted him and we got back together...and because all of our initial incompatibilities never magically changed (like I somehow hoped they would) here we are a year later on our last break up

 

You need time alone and there is nothing wrong with that. Take that time to grieve, heal and clean your slate....then get back out there 

 

Just don't get back together with your ex. The longing you feel for him will fade with time. 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Fletch Lives said:

. So, it would have to be a new guy in the future if she wants romance.

Glad they released you on bail.👩‍⚖️.

I vote for#3 ( new hasn't met yet) also.

#1 Ended out of incompatibilities and boredom.

#2 She just not that into him.

So #3 seems like the best option.

[Highndry]

Take heed, fellas!