Wiseman2 Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 (edited) At 19, you can keep your private life and views to yourself. Stop sharing this much with her. Stop talking about current events. Reset your social media to much more private settings. How is your relationship with your father or sibling and other extended family? Who is paying for university? Car? Phone? Start now getting as many jobs as you can, be out of the house Much more. Working solves a lot of problems. You two being in each other's face and your independence. It would be best to stop seeking approval and support. If you dislike her opinions, that's fine. You're an adult. Develop your own lifestyle and opinions however you wish. Edited April 12, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mint1 Posted April 12, 2021 Author Share Posted April 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: At 19, you can keep your private life and views to yourself. Stop sharing this much with her. Stop talking about current events. Reset your social media to much more private settings. How is your relationship with your father or sibling and other extended family? Who is paying for university? Car? Phone? Start now getting as many jobs as you can, be out of the house Much more. Working solves a lot of problems. You two being in each other's face and your independence. It would be best to stop seeking approval and support. If you dislike her opinions, that's fine. You're an adult. Develop your own lifestyle and opinions however you wish. Yeah i don't share anything with her, it just so happens that I wanted to speak up for once lol clearly that didn't go well. She knows all my personal stuff because I was exposed by someone before. People told them s*** without my consent. I would never tell her anything about my personal stuff. I really don't care about anything she says, I genuinely don't want to waste my energy on her, but to hear these every single day? It still gets to me a lot. My dad currently pays for my tuition and I'm also looking for ways I can get money, so far I found one already which is good. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 OK.... I know you may be mad... and your mom very well may need therapy... the the reality is... Mom's house, Mom's rules, and Mom is RIGHT. (Even if she's not) You want to be happier... then bite your lip, don't give your input, and focus on getting a job that will allow you to move out. Also, there is always 2 sides of a story. You say she is the problem... but maybe she is just had it with her adult child trying to run her life?? I have a cousin who her adult son was starting to act like her father. She finally said... "I love you, but go find your own place to live." (He is 23) And... a few months ago... she enforced it. You don't have to be "Financially Secure"... you just need a job. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 As we get older we learn that parents are people too, with their own weaknesses and failings. Because of the nature of parent-child relationships, it can be particularly challenging to deal with things on which we don't agree with them. The reality is that when someone else is providing you with a place to live (and probably food and other necessities), you are not on equal footing and whether fair or not, you will be seen as ungrateful if you challenge their opinions and way of doing things. Financial support almost always comes with strings. Look into getting several roommates and if you have a job that pays enough while still leaving time for University work, move out. That will come with its own challenges and might provide insight and perspective for you. In the meantime, your living situation is only temporary. Keep that in mind and follow the advice in other posts about biting your lip and walking away. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, FMW said: The reality is that when someone else is providing you with a place to live (and probably food and other necessities), you are not on equal footing and whether fair or not, you will be seen as ungrateful if you challenge their opinions and way of doing things. Financial support almost always comes with strings. ...and paying for your education, too! You're getting a free ride! You have no idea how fortunate you are. A lot of folks could live with hearing stuff they disagree with just to have all their bills paid and a free education! Edited April 27, 2021 by LivingWaterPlease Link to post Share on other sites
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