I'm autistic: Would it be a good idea to hire a hooker to lose my virginity?

[DrasticMeasurements]

I just turned 27 and have never been on a date. I’m on the autism spectrum and lack the perfect ability to hold a conversation. Just because I talk legible on the website doesn’t mean I don’t sound demented in person. I talk worse than an 85 year old man with severe AZ.

My whole life I longed for love and I had crushes on women who didn’t like me back. At this point, I’m not worried if I get all the STDs in the world because I’m so frustrated with not having someone to love. Yes, I KNOW SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE. But I want to know what sex feels like because I’m lonely and lack social ability.

I’ve tried telling people I’m a Virgin because I’m a Christian waiting for marriage and even others don’t believe me. They see me as some loser or outcast. Even the same old Christian ministers I talked to said “stop thinking about yourself” and they’re wrong; because I always try to show interest in another person and never share anything about who I am since I don’t matter to people. Nobody understands autism and that’s why we kill ourselves.

Edited April 13, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Spacing

[trident_2020]

Definitely.

Don't just have intercourse, get a blow job.

It could change your life.

[glows]

Probably not a good idea.

Have you thought about dating others who are also autistic? Do you have a social worker, counsellor or therapist you can speak to about this or who can help point you in the right direction meeting others locally?

[basil67]

Definitely.  There is a very real role for sex workers in the disability sector.  

[jah526]

What about starting with erotic massage? In general I think prostitution isn’t great, but in cases like this, I can see the benefits. It would probably help with your self-confidence.

One of my best friends is on the spectrum. Yes, he has social difficulties, but he’s probably the most loyal and empathetic person I’ve ever known. So don’t put yourself down. The people worth keeping around are the ones who are willing to dig a little deeper and get to know you.

[glows]

But what would it do to your self-esteem then if you caught an STD and/or walked away after that knowing that you lost your virginity to a paid service rather than out of someone genuinely wanting to be with you for you? 

Are you sure it would help you feel any better?

[DrasticMeasurements]

7 hours ago, glows said:

But what would it do to your self-esteem then if you caught an STD and/or walked away after that knowing that you lost your virginity to a paid service rather than out of someone genuinely wanting to be with you for you? 

Are you sure it would help you feel any better?

I don’t think I’ll ever find a woman who wants to be with me for who I am. By God I’m sure of that.

[DrasticMeasurements]

It sucks when nobody can relate to you

[DrasticMeasurements]

People don’t know what it is like to be autistic.

[DrasticMeasurements]

I need a response to my frustration

[d0nnivain]

Just be safe about it so you don't get an STD.  

Best wishes.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

I need a response to my frustration

Is it legal where you live? Can you afford it? If it's not legal, be assured than no one in jail with understand or give a damn about your issues..

That should be your main consideration. If this is a rhetorical question as a platform to complain about lack of sex, try masturbation.

[DrasticMeasurements]

9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is it legal where you live? Can you afford it? If it's not legal, be assured than no one in jail with understand or give a damn about your issues..

That should be your main consideration. If this is a rhetorical question as a platform to complain about lack of sex, try masturbation.

It’s not legal, but I’m on the spectrum and would refuse to plead guilty if was ever caught. 
 

I’ve been brought to my campus PD twice for stalking and texting someone I was interested in and told them I had a hard time reading signs that she doesn’t want to talk. I was just following her to an elevator and telling her I really like her but never meant any harm. They were more understanding of my disability. I hope the state is the same way.

Edited April 13, 2021 by DrasticMeasurements

[Happy Lemming]

...

Edited April 13, 2021 by Happy Lemming

[d0nnivain]

4 minutes ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

It’s not legal, but I’m on the spectrum and would refuse to plead guilty if was ever caught. 

How about if you get caught & charged you get a competent lawyer & follow that person's advice.  

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

It’s not legal, but I’m on the spectrum. I’ve been brought to my campus PD twice for stalking and texting someone

You need to slow your role, no? You can't break the law because "you're on the spectrum".

[Happy Lemming]

6 minutes ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

It’s not legal...

 

Many years ago, I was approached by a neighbor that got caught in a prostitution sting.  He got busted by the police (as a John) and didn't know what to do. (I have no idea why he asked me for assistance with this problem)

I gave him the number of an attorney, I knew.  I told him to keep his mouth shut and not discuss the matter with anyone except his attorney.

In the end, he was convicted.  He had to pay a hefty fine, had to do some type of classes and was put on probation for a year.

[mark clemson]

My thought would be no, EXCEPT in areas where it's legal and regulated. Which in the US I believe leaves you with Nevada (outside of Las Vegas). Taking a trip there for "experience" might make some sense.

Beyond that, from everything I understand, prostitution is a nasty business with lots of harm/exploitation of the women and drug abuse. There are probably some "free agents" but many if not most will have a brutal pimp and/or organized crime involved. There is a good chance they'll have been with another guy an hour or less prior to you. And of course there are the legal risks involved.

Do you really want to deal with all of that?

So a trip to Nevada to experience prostitution sex legally/reasonably ethically and "get it out of your system" at least a bit, might be helpful, if that's possible for you. Something to consider.

If you have money, you could consider "Sugar Daddy" sites as an alternative. If you do that, you should probably talk to a lawyer first to understand the legal nuances/limitations in your area so you understand fully what you can and can't legally do.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

 I was approached by a neighbor that got caught in a prostitution sting.  He got busted by the police (as a John) and didn't know what to do.

In the end, he was convicted.  He had to pay a hefty fine, had to do some type of classes and was put on probation for a year.

Good point. There's no such thing as an "autism defense", particularly with a police record of stalking women.

Edited April 13, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Johnjohnson2017]

If you do get an escort, you really have to do good research to make sure that 1)you don't end up being arrested for soliciting a prostitute and 2)you don't get ripped off.

Are you picky in terms of looks in an escort? The really glamorous women cost upwards of $400 and hour, even up to $1000 an hour.

You have to be upfront with the escort before you book a time with her. Let her know that you are autistic and if that would be a problem for her. Obviously you don't want to discuss with her what you want to happen in the date.

With good internet searching, you can find an escort who is very caring.

[ZA Dater]

OP you have my sympathy because dating is not easy for most of us, it's very hard actually and I understand why you want this but I think it's a very bad idea.

[Happy Lemming]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Good point. There's no such thing as an "autism defense", particularly with a police record of stalking women.

I forgot to include the bill from the attorney, so there was that cost, as well.

And yes... I kept my distance from that neighbor (after speaking with him) and was glad to sell that house and get out of there.  The whole thing gave me the creeps, so I made it a point to avoid him.  His crime made me feel differently about him.  At first I thought he was just a quiet (but nice) guy... after that I wanted nothing to do with him.

[dramafreezone]

20 hours ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

I just turned 27 and have never been on a date. I’m on the autism spectrum and lack the perfect ability to hold a conversation. Just because I talk legible on the website doesn’t mean I don’t sound demented in person. I talk worse than an 85 year old man with severe AZ.

My whole life I longed for love and I had crushes on women who didn’t like me back. At this point, I’m not worried if I get all the STDs in the world because I’m so frustrated with not having someone to love. Yes, I KNOW SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE. But I want to know what sex feels like because I’m lonely and lack social ability.

I’ve tried telling people I’m a Virgin because I’m a Christian waiting for marriage and even others don’t believe me. They see me as some loser or outcast. Even the same old Christian ministers I talked to said “stop thinking about yourself” and they’re wrong; because I always try to show interest in another person and never share anything about who I am since I don’t matter to people. Nobody understands autism and that’s why we kill ourselves.

I'm not going to sit up here on some moral high ground and tell you not to do something, but where I am it's illegal so you should think about the type of world you're exposing yourself to.  I personally think it should be legal but that's anoher story.  If you're in the US, it is legal in Nevada in certain counties.  I'm a big scaredy cat regarding these types of sketchy issues, so that's the route I would go.

No one can know what you're going through but you.  I generally do believe that there's someone for everyone but if I'm being honest, it may be extremely challenging to find someone who is also autistic, who likes you, who you like.  You're an adult, make the best decision for yourself.

[jah526]

21 hours ago, DrasticMeasurements said:

I just turned 27 and have never been on a date. I’m on the autism spectrum and lack the perfect ability to hold a conversation. Just because I talk legible on the website doesn’t mean I don’t sound demented in person. I talk worse than an 85 year old man with severe AZ.

Another thing, about this. I have issues with social anxiety and sometimes I just start babbling when I'm anxious. I have no idea whether I'm making any sense or not (probably not). A former boss of mine recommended Toastmasters. I didn't take him up on it, but I don't think it's a bad idea. Might be another way to gain confidence without going the illegal/unsafe route. Just sayin'.

[ZA Dater]

I think you need to ask yourself if doing this will actually improve your life and as someone who has considered but not done it for me the level of risk for no apparent gain just did not make it worth it.

My suggestion just find a friend who you can chat with, life is lonely I get that but a 5 min roll around probably wont make your life any better.