bunnzy Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 I am 20. My boyfriend wants to propose:love: on Thursday and asked my dad last night for his blessing. My parents think we are rushing in, that we don't know each other well enough etc... basically my dad would not give his blessing. My boyfriend has been planning his proposal for weeks. I love my boyfriend to pieces. I have always lived at home, and being a latter-day saint, i dont believe in sex before marraige (incidentally most of us get married young:) ) I would like to wake up in his arms, make his dinner, make decisions over money together, basically be domestic. Wash dishes, feed the dog, buy a house and all those grown up things. I know im weird. I am very upset with my parents. i have had depression for a number of years but got conselling earlier this year to figure things out and cut down on my antidepressant medication 2 months ago. I am getting a real handle on my emotions, doing well at work, working with kids at church, having strong family and friend relationships, and am trusting people, which is hard for me. I believe most of what i have seen and done has made me a little more well traveled and accepting of differences than most 20yr olds. (i live in australia currently, but lived in New zealand, San Fransisco and Iowa at one point too moving around does make you grow up quickly and afraid to make friends) I have found someone i could never walk away from, i trust implicitly, someone i truly want to spend my life with. I understand that my parents would not give an easy 'yes' but i did want them to be a little more supportive. My parents have always been very overprotective and perfectionistic. No matter what I do it is never enough, and only recently have i been able to stop beating myself up when i mess up, it the way i have been brought up. What can my boyfriend and I say to my mum and dad to reassure them of our good intentions and devotion to each other? I love them, and want thier blessing so i can happily go from girlfriend to fiance! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 How long have you two known each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 How long have you two known each other? Exactly what I was going to ask. Remember your parents love and care for you and they don't want to see you hurt. How well do they know this guy? Will you go against their wishes anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bunnzy Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 We met about 4 months ago, dated 'as friends' for a few weeks and then things have been steadily getting more serious for the past 2 months. On the outside, looking in, it does seem very rushed. We are past the whole 'honeymoon phase' when you are blind to all faults. He knows i get moody, i know he gets stubborn. We communicate so well and just want to be together and happy. If it wasnt me i would probably be shaking my head and thinking, 'way too fast', but i love him, and he me, so why should we wait to get married if we love each other? My parents have let me know they will support us in any decision we make, so i want him to go ahead and ask me thursday still. But i want thier approval first. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Four months??? Slow down, bunnzy, slow down. Wait another year, at least, before you even consider marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Oh woah. FOUR MONTHS? Listen, if I had five bucks for every couple that was POSITIVE THEY WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER after four or six months and then went on to marry and divorce or break up I'd be richer than God. OF COURSE you think he's perfect and that you 'know all each other's faults' and all's peachy. Our brains are designed to get us to mate by causing us to become infatuated pretty quickly. There are actually chemicals in your brain that are making you feel this way. Thing is, they only circulate for so long before they stop working and when they do is when the crash and burn comes. If you looooove each other sooooo much, you will still loooove each other after a year, which will give you both time to get to know each other very well. You don't understand that you really do not know each other as well as you think you do. It could be a very serious mistake to get engaged now. I highly, highly recommend you do not do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Outcast is 100% correct on this one.. 4 months and he was thinking on how to propose for weeks before that.. That means he knew he was going to propose after 3 months... You need to slow down Way Down Listen to your dad Link to post Share on other sites
augur Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I must sing with the choir on this one. Four months seems far to soon - for reasons that have already been posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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