Lotsgoingon Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Great comments from people here. So sounds like there was a lot going on in your life--in the marriage and in your childhood--that is relevant to your vulnerability to this woman's interest. Go ahead and reflect on the bigger context. It's reflecting and the new commitment you develop out of reflecting--IN ADDITION to moral clarity-- that allows us to really learn from experience and to avoid situations like this one. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Alexsash said: She would get jealous if I had sex with my then wife and I asked her not to have sex with her husband. It's really a strange situation we were cheating but didn't want us to cheat on each other. That's actually not a shock at all. There is all this talk of manipulation and destroying lives, and certainly that sometimes does occur, but it's also true that many APs have very genuine feelings for each other. While affairs can be very destructive, particularly through the emotions they trigger in BS's (but also for other reasons), there are also happy endings sometimes as sometimes genuinely bad marriages finally end and sometimes APs do wind up together. We have a sprinkling of posters here in those types of situations. You are at a specific place emotionally right now, but your future is unwritten and certainly there is potential for a happier future for you now that you are no longer married to a difficult partner. Your affair was, in part, a band-aid on a bad marriage, which is something we hear about here again and again. Edited April 16, 2021 by mark clemson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alexsash Posted April 17, 2021 Author Share Posted April 17, 2021 4 hours ago, mark clemson said: That's actually not a shock at all. There is all this talk of manipulation and destroying lives, and certainly that sometimes does occur, but it's also true that many APs have very genuine feelings for each other. While affairs can be very destructive, particularly through the emotions they trigger in BS's (but also for other reasons), there are also happy endings sometimes as sometimes genuinely bad marriages finally end and sometimes APs do wind up together. We have a sprinkling of posters here in those types of situations. You are at a specific place emotionally right now, but your future is unwritten and certainly there is potential for a happier future for you now that you are no longer married to a difficult partner. Your affair was, in part, a band-aid on a bad marriage, which is something we hear about here again and again. I'm not holding my breath I need to move on i have date coming up and I will focus on them and be actually present in the moment which is something I haven't done in the past. There are plenty of good things going on in my life. My boy first and foremost is doing really really well I'm so proud of him his kicking ass in school. My work is going really well I'm performing I finished my mba (under high stress) I'm training every morning and will enter in comp towards the end of the year. I don't drink (never been a big drinker) or take recreational drugs anymore (mainly mdma/cocaine) can't be bothered with the aftermath can't handle the comedowns I'm not in my 20's anymore. Love getting looks and smiles from 20 yo that gives me validation that I still have it . I lost a lot of my confidence after the AP stayed with her husband which is coming back. I'm fun again I'm laughing again so lots of good positive stuff.... I will never cheat on anyone again that is something I'm 110% certain of. As for the AP she can get f**ked I'm so done I feel bad for what I've to her husband poor guy I actually know for a fact his a good guy hard worker and family oriented little does he know his wife is a serial cheater I forgot to mention she had affair before she met me about a year into her marriage. I know him he used to see with her and give me filthy looks but was never man enough to approach when I used to look at him he would look away like a good submissive male does. This women needs to get her head checked. Like karma has given me a royal fisting hope she forgotten my exAP she needs good serving herself. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 2 hours ago, Alexsash said: I'm not holding my breath I need to move on Absolutely. Your happy ending will (extremely likely) be to move on from both. Link to post Share on other sites
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