Really struggling do I sound jealous

[Sweetguy40]

Hi everyone. As of today I am officially divorced. Dont get me wrong Im happy Im not with her anymore because she constantly  mentally and emotionally abused me. Her kids aka my step kids  disrespected me. In the same light. Im irritated because  she has a new boyfriend already  even before we were officially divorced. This  new guy paid for her a new truck, plus he paid for the divorce proceedings. That angers me. Here I sit with no new love  and  my  finances are extremely low. Im basically living paych3eck to paycheck.  why is it that the victim always  ends up  with the  worst and the  perpetrator  gets everything. It upsets me to a high standard. Plus I guess  since she  got both our stimulus payments she has a right to give me only a portion of it or 1087.00. I cant do anything to change this  because i do not have a lawyer  nor can i afford one, Its very messed up. 

[glows]

Congratulations that it's gone through (if I may say so). She treated you unkindly and has moved on so best to do the same and don't ever look back on that abusive situation. Whatever she does with her life now is not your business so as hard as it is, stay focused on your own life and what you can do moving forward. 

Stay active and find reasons to go out even if it's for walks and to take the dog out. You do not need a new love if you are still hung up over your ex and annoyed with her. Don't treat it like a competition just because your ex has found someone else. Let that stuff go. Stay single for awhile and feel good about yourself before welcoming anyone else into your life.

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Sweetguy40 said:

  she has a new boyfriend already  even before we were officially divorced.

Sorry you are going through this.

Unfortunately, this seems common.

There's no victim/perpetrator. Divorce is a civil proceeding, so there's plaintiff/defendant.

It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Was this your first marriage? Do you have kids of your own?

How long were you married and what was the reason for the divorce? 

Take your time to reflect, heal and move forward.

 

 

[vla1120]

You are free from her mental and emotional abuse. Things might seem all happy and joyful with her new boyfriend, but how long before she starts treating him like she treated you? Just think about that every time you get upset that she has more money than you. All the money in the world isn't worth being abused. 

Have you separated everything (bank accounts, etc.) and notified the IRS so that the next stimulus check (or tax refund or whatever) goes directly to you? 

[usa1ah]

On 4/15/2021 at 8:25 PM, Sweetguy40 said:

Hi everyone. As of today I am officially divorced. Dont get me wrong Im happy Im not with her anymore because she constantly  mentally and emotionally abused me. Her kids aka my step kids  disrespected me. In the same light. Im irritated because  she has a new boyfriend already  even before we were officially divorced. This  new guy paid for her a new truck, plus he paid for the divorce proceedings. That angers me. Here I sit with no new love  and  my  finances are extremely low. Im basically living paych3eck to paycheck.  why is it that the victim always  ends up  with the  worst and the  perpetrator  gets everything. It upsets me to a high standard. Plus I guess  since she  got both our stimulus payments she has a right to give me only a portion of it or 1087.00. I cant do anything to change this  because i do not have a lawyer  nor can i afford one, Its very messed up. 

Have her arrested for theft. 

[Caauug]

On 4/16/2021 at 8:25 AM, Sweetguy40 said:

Here I sit with no new love  and  my  finances are extremely low. Im basically living paych3eck to paycheck.  why is it that the victim always  ends up  with the  worst and the  perpetrator  gets everything. It upsets me to a high standard.

New love? If you really want a replacement for your ex you need to make yourself desirable, claiming to be the victim is not a good start. No one wants to be around a person that is depressed and blames someone else for that depression. Work on the 6 sixes and get your mind into a positive attitude. As a man you are expected to be strong mentally and physically, the provider and the protector of the R/family. She will not want a grown spoiled child for her new love....

 

On 4/16/2021 at 8:25 AM, Sweetguy40 said:

Im irritated because  she has a new boyfriend already  even before we were officially divorced.

And why wouldn't she, she's a female.... Who ever told you there was equality between the sexes lied to you. There never is, and never will be equality with men and women, because we are different, we think in different ways, our needs and wants are different. Evolution over time has made human nature that makes behaviors different. This can make it appear it's not fair, and it's not, so get over it. Life is not fair. For the most part (lower 80%) males are the disposable sex. By that, any female can get as many males in the lower 80% as she wants. (this may not apply in later years of life).

 

On 4/16/2021 at 8:25 AM, Sweetguy40 said:

Im happy Im not with her anymore because she constantly  mentally and emotionally abused me. Her kids aka my step kids  disrespected me.

As a man you should try to avoid this situation. As a mum her priorities will be with her children, (as it should be) and your status in the family will be dead last. You will likely be expected to support the family as your own but have next to no say in how the family deals with discipline or even how your money is spent with the children. Try to distance yourself from falling into the same situation, date if you dare, but keep out of cohabitation.

I strongly suggest you get to work on yourself, be the best you can be physically and mentally. This is for your own health and well being. As money is tight, start with simple resistance exercises and push yourself to do more each week, you don't need an expensive gym membership to start. Kick any bad habits, and get on a healthy diet. Look after the most important person in your life, YOU!!!

Note: The above comments are generalizations and there always will be exceptions (if you believe in unicorns). These comments are not meant to be an attack on anyone or any gender.  Motivation is the goal.