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Got myself in a right mess - not sure what to do


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You're down and hurt from the end of a 20 year relationship. Give yourself more breathing room. It's not a good idea to jump into a new relationship right now with anyone, let alone a married man. Time out for yourself and give that four months to YOU. Not to him or letting this keep going the way it is. 

Spend time alone and get right with yourself before dating again for awhile. You might see and realize for yourself how his behaviour is not one you'd want to put up with or have anywhere in your life. 

No healthy person would tolerate this. Don't go down that road. Not worth it and you're only piling up more issues on top of the hurt/sadness of ending your previous long term relationship. I think if you want to find a sure way to grind your self-esteem into dust, this is a surefire way to do so.

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