Heated Debate

[Erik]

My friend and I are debating an issue which I hope someone will be able to help me with. My friend believes that the only difference between a friend and a girlfriend/boyfriend is intimacy. I do not believe this. The major problem is that he has convinced my friends and girlfriend this is true. Does anyone have a good argument against this?? Thank you in advance

[bethbonnie]

My friend and I are debating an issue which I hope someone will be able to help me with. My friend believes that the only difference between a friend and a girlfriend/boyfriend is intimacy. I do not believe this. The major problem is that he has convinced my friends and girlfriend this is true. Does anyone have a good argument against this?? Thank you in advance Are you saying that you and your girlfriend have not yet been intimate? If you are still in the grounds of friendship and you are dating steady...then you are 'dating' which equates to girlfriend and boyfriend. Hopefully you are grounding your early stages of 'friendship' on trust, honesty and respect for each other. If your girlfriend has good esteem and respect for herself, why would she be convinced of another's opinion? If I was going steady with anyone, I would be focusing on looking at his character and behaviour toward me as his true love, and it would be important to me if he shows himself self respect and treats others the same way. You friend needs to understand that none of his business, is NONE his business. No one has the right to speak into anyones relationship, a relationship is between TWO people. If you would like some good strong advice, or as I would call it WISDOM...try to be a leader and not a follower of the 'crowd', leave intimacy issues for when you are truly committed to someone's life ie. marriage...I know it seems totally 'uncool' to wait until marriage...but it will eliminate many unnecessary heartaches. There will be no chance of sexually transmitted diseases of any kind if you are completely monogamous toward someone, no chance of unwanted pregnancies...and faithfulness is something, money cannot but...besides sharing one another for the first time on your wedding night is a gift that cannot be replaced or wrapped. I have christian values, but besides this, the above few lines of advice make sense. Choose wisely young man, your partner for life, the friends and the choices you make in life, always give thought to the consequences of your actions. Ultimately, wisdom will always be a true friend to you and if you use it correctly, the outcome of your choices will be far better than discarding it....I hope this has helped you question.. take care..bethbonnie, from Australia

 

[Ryan]

My friend and I are debating an issue which

I hope someone will be able to help me with. My friend believes that the only difference between a friend and a girlfriend/boyfriend is intimacy. I do not believe this. The major problem is that he has convinced my friends and girlfriend this is true. Does anyone have a good argument against this?? Thank you in advance

Well, first I have to wonder what you mean by "intimacy." The suggestion I read is that you mean sexual interaction. I suppose a very vague delineation between a friendship and a romance is the physical nature, but I also think that's a somewhat naive oversimplification. First, it leads to the conclusion that a good friend will make a good relationship....many of us know from experience that this often is not so. How often do you consider the physical attractiveness of someone to be your friend? Also, a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is (hopefully) the single romantic relationship a person has at any given time, whereas having one person as a friend doesn't exclude you from having other friends. Wouldn't it be odd to only have one friend at a time? The thing is, a good romantic relationship should include a good friendship. However, the emotions that build around a romance are more specific and particular to the other person. How many people can say they are the same person around their girl/boyfriends AND their friends? I know I can't say it....and I don't know anyone who can either except for maybe my parents that have been married for 22 years.