Girlfriend gives me cold shoulder for calling her reckless

[youaretheone]

My girlfriend and I live in a high-risk country where the number of COVID infections is still increasing rapidly and it is not possible for us to get a vaccine yet. Since we spend time at each others' place quite a lot, we made this agreement that we reduce contact only to a minimum where we see only relatives and one or two very close friends, so that we don't risk getting infected and risking each other's health while doing so.

Since then, she has met only with 2 close friends of hers plus her flatmate who belongs to the same household. I chose not to meet with any other friends yet because I didn't want to risk it although I was fine with her meeting 2 others even though we were aware of the risks.

Yesterday, she tells me that her flatmate invited this friend home that I have never met for brunch and she joined them to eat together in the same room so she has spent an hour there without a mask, eating and talking.

Hearing this, I get super concerned about her getting sick because we have no idea where this friend has been in the last few days and with whom she had contact. I also get upset with her for breaking our agreement and having to cancel our plans early this week because now I have to wait for 5 days to see if she has any symptoms or not and obviously not risk myself also getting infected. I think her behaviour was inconsiderate.

As a result of this, I send her a text saying I am concerned about her getting infected and I am also sad that we now have to wait another 5 days to see each other again. I also told her I don't understand how she could be so reckless and take such a risk.

After telling her this, she gets angry at me for calling her reckless and snaps out at me by saying "I come to your place all the time, taking risks and you call me reckless? You know what? I will not come anymore.". I call her to explain the situation and she won't respond. Then I text her trying to explain myself and how much I am concerned, worried and such and she just ignores my texts and goes to sleep without responding, giving me the silent treatment.

Am in the wrong here?

[Fletch Lives]

I'm sorry about the fight.....it's tough times right now. It's very tough to tell sociable people to be unsociable. 

I'd ease up and just tell her you had health concerns for both of you, and you are sorry, then leave her alone, and wait and see if she comes back to you.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, youaretheone said:

 now I have to wait for 5 days to see if she has any symptoms or not 

Who made up this rule and what makes you believe having symptoms in this time frame or not protects you?

Hopefully you understand that you can be infected anywhere anytime by anyone. Including your roommates, co-workers, store clerks, delivery personnel etc.

Sounds like your relationship is about distrust and control and these unfounded "rules" you impose are imploding it.

Basically it's your responsibility to protect yourself. If you think people are reckless, avoid them.

[Prudence V]

9 hours ago, youaretheone said:

Am in the wrong here?

No. You had an agreement, and she unilaterally broke it. 
 

I don’t know which country you’re in, but some countries have some even more vicious strains (mutations) that are more infectious, or more deadly, or both. If you have concerns about getting infected, and have discussed these and agreed on a way forward (which it sounds like you had), then it is completely reasonable to expect her to go along with that - or to let you know if she wants to change it. 
 

She may feel bulletproof, and that’s her choice, but taking risks which put other people’s lives at risk is inconsiderate in the extreme. 

[d0nnivain]

The only thing you are wrong about is waiting 5 days.  The incubation period is 2 - 14 days so IMO you need to wait longer than 5 days to see her. 

You probably would have been served expressing your concerns verbally using voice or video not text but your safety has to come 1st.  If she is not respecting that then she's not a very caring GF. 

[spiderowl]

You are already at more risk than people who are keeping to a 'bubble' of just one other person.  It seems your girlfriend doesn't really understand the risks, or, if she does, she ended up in that situation and thought 'what the hell, he's here now'.  

I think you are right not to risk seeing her for some time to be sure she is not infected but 5 days isn't enough.  10 days is recommended here in the UK.  If she is sharing with others, then it gets even more complicated as any of those people could be in a bubble with other extraneous people and so the number of possible contacts multiplies.

I suspect your girlfriend realised it wasn't a good thing to do and was reacting to your criticism and being defensive.  Had you said something different, like 'I think it best we don't meet for a while if you have been mixing with a stranger, just to be on the safe side', she might have reacted less angrily.

[dramafreezone]

20 hours ago, youaretheone said:

My girlfriend and I live in a high-risk country where the number of COVID infections is still increasing rapidly and it is not possible for us to get a vaccine yet. Since we spend time at each others' place quite a lot, we made this agreement that we reduce contact only to a minimum where we see only relatives and one or two very close friends, so that we don't risk getting infected and risking each other's health while doing so.

Since then, she has met only with 2 close friends of hers plus her flatmate who belongs to the same household. I chose not to meet with any other friends yet because I didn't want to risk it although I was fine with her meeting 2 others even though we were aware of the risks.

Yesterday, she tells me that her flatmate invited this friend home that I have never met for brunch and she joined them to eat together in the same room so she has spent an hour there without a mask, eating and talking.

Hearing this, I get super concerned about her getting sick because we have no idea where this friend has been in the last few days and with whom she had contact. I also get upset with her for breaking our agreement and having to cancel our plans early this week because now I have to wait for 5 days to see if she has any symptoms or not and obviously not risk myself also getting infected. I think her behaviour was inconsiderate.

As a result of this, I send her a text saying I am concerned about her getting infected and I am also sad that we now have to wait another 5 days to see each other again. I also told her I don't understand how she could be so reckless and take such a risk.

After telling her this, she gets angry at me for calling her reckless and snaps out at me by saying "I come to your place all the time, taking risks and you call me reckless? You know what? I will not come anymore.". I call her to explain the situation and she won't respond. Then I text her trying to explain myself and how much I am concerned, worried and such and she just ignores my texts and goes to sleep without responding, giving me the silent treatment.

Am in the wrong here?

Well, reckless wasn't the best choice of words, but she overreacteed, and is being emotionally manipulative by giving you the silent treatment.  I would not message her, she needs to learn how to communicate like an adult.