I still haven't opened up about the girl I'm currently courting

[luiscasabuena]

I'm all over the boards desperately looking for attention. But what's deep inside me is that the girl I'm courting is not responding anymore. I still don't want to open up, I'm still mustering enough courage about it. She used to be very sweet to me. Even my guy friends told me she seems desperately in need of me. But now, she has shifted gears. She seems very lukewarm. I'm sad. I really am very very sad.

[d0nnivain]

Do you think she's the "whole package" you claim to want?  Have you told her that? 

Has she had to deal with your "playboy" buddies & their cavalier attitudes toward fidelity?  That would send me running. 

Are you acting like you are going her a favor by dating her or have you compared her to those beauty queens you used to date?  

If your friends described her as 'desperately in need of [you]" but now she has pulled back she probably found some self esteem & decided to stop chasing you.  The more you post the more you come across as a guy who thinks he's entitled to have women fall at his feet because he has an education, a nice car & a few bucks.  Try being a nice person instead.  

[spiderowl]

Have you asked her what's wrong?

What do you mean when you say you don't want to open up?

 

[luiscasabuena]

 "whole package"

>> she's the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. she's educated. funny. wow. she's all that i ever need. we can keep talking and won't run out of conversations. i think i love her.

"Has she had to deal with your "playboy" buddies & their cavalier attitudes toward fidelity?"

>>> No, not yet. He's my friend. But I'm not playboy at all. I told him that the reason why it's taking me a lot of time to get married is that I don't want to cheat on any girl. I know how sensitive women are. So I'm taking my time. He's still my friend no matter what because we always have a good time together... but I will in no way do the things he do. I'm a one-woman man.

"Are you acting like you are going her a favor by dating her or have you compared her to those beauty queens you used to date?"

>>>I really can't compare. She outshines them all.  

"If your friends described her as 'desperately in need of [you]" but now she has pulled back she probably found some self esteem & decided to stop chasing you.  The more you post the more you come across as a guy who thinks he's entitled to have women fall at his feet because he has an education, a nice car & a few bucks.  Try being a nice person instead."

>>>Thanks.

 

[luiscasabuena]

1 hour ago, spiderowl said:

Have you asked her what's wrong?

 

 

I haven't. I think she may just not answer my question even if I ask.

[d0nnivain]

Maybe it's time to "open up" then.  What's holding you back?  

[luiscasabuena]

I really really don't know. Some part of me tells me it's not worth trying. I watched YT videos and they tell me these are signs the girl is just not that into me. I'm quite tired already. It feels like a soliloquy talking to her.

[spiderowl]

2 minutes ago, luiscasabuena said:

I haven't. I think she may just not answer my question even if I ask.

Then you are not likely to get any insight into why your girlfriend has changed towards you.  You need to communicate.  You could ask something like "You seem different with me.  Is something bothering you?"

[luiscasabuena]

1 hour ago, spiderowl said:

Then you are not likely to get any insight into why your girlfriend has changed towards you.  You need to communicate.  You could ask something like "You seem different with me.  Is something bothering you?"

well, she isn't my girlfriend yet, but i visited her (after six hours of travel) to give her stargazers and chocolates.  she appreciated the gesture and even agreed to put the pictures on FB story.

[Mrin]

Okay judging from your other posts and this one I can't decide whether you are chasing her too hard or too light. I'm pretty sure it's one or the other. Lol. 

How often do you contact her a day? Like not in a back and forth conversation but when the conversation has stopped and you reach back out to her to (re) initiate conversation.

[d0nnivain]

If she stopped responding after you traveled & gave her flowers & candy that is indeed bad.  She may have found somebody who is willing to make her his GF.  Were you dragging your feet?  

[spiderowl]

1 minute ago, luiscasabuena said:

well, she isn't my girlfriend yet, but i visited her (after six hours of travel) to give her stargazers and chocolates.  she appreciated the gesture and even agreed to put the pictures on FB story.

Ah this is a bit of a different situation.  

That was a nice gesture.

When you mentioned she 'agreed' to put the pictures on FB story, what do you mean?  Did you ask her to put them there?  If so, why?

Unfortunately, we are all vulnerable to rejection.  It hurts, plain and simple, no matter whether you are rich, poor, handsome or otherwise.  Prepare yourself, just in case, but in the meantime, keep up the communication with her (not overdoing it, of course) and ask her how she is.  If you show you are genuinely interested in how she is, then hopefully she will answer and let you know what's going on with her.

It could be she is feeling a bit low, which is nothing to do with you.

It could be she is not as interested as you.

I understand your fears.  In this kind of situation, time will tell.

Hope it works out for you.

 

[luiscasabuena]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

If she stopped responding after you traveled & gave her flowers & candy that is indeed bad.  She may have found somebody who is willing to make her his GF.  Were you dragging your feet?  

After that happened, we were texting each other like crazy!  And then, I forgot to say goodbye to her. I had her in my mind the entire time I was driving that I thought I was still talking to her. I apologized. She said there was nothing to apologize, actually. She's really nice. But then, along the way, as the days went by, the less she responded. @_@

[luiscasabuena]

Sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with her zodiac sign. She's Aquarius. Funny but can switch off like nothing happened.

Edited April 21, 2021 by luiscasabuena

[d0nnivain]

It has nothing to do with her Zodiac sign.  

[luiscasabuena]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

If she stopped responding after you traveled & gave her flowers & candy that is indeed bad.  She may have found somebody who is willing to make her his GF.  Were you dragging your feet?  

What do you mean by "dragging" my "feet"?

[d0nnivain]

moving slowly, not confirming your interest fast enough.  

[Lotsgoingon]

You might have waited too long to make your interest known. 

Could be that something bad happened to her outside of you, and since you hadn't made your interest known, she just no longer has interest. 

[luiscasabuena]

I don't know if this counts.

Three days after our very first conversation, I called her up to ask if she can be my girlfriend. She said that it was still too early. The courtship continued. On the 30th of March, I visited her and brought her stargazers and chocolates. We had a really fun date. She lives 6 hours away and with all the restrictions and the spike in cases, I don't think we'll have another date anytime soon.

She doesn't respond to my messages but she reads them all. She replies once in a while but very rarely nowadays, unlike before when our conversations were seamless and smooth.

[chillii]

 

Sorry to say but it sounds like she's lost interest.

[luiscasabuena]

^^Do I still have the chance? What do I do?

[chillii]

l dk , tbh , as a guy if l lost interest then not much will change it from there and tbh l have noticed the same kinda thing in women too . l'd really doubt there is much you can do myself and if you go on trying it might make that even worse. Maybe she turns again with some space or someone new fizzles and she has second thoughts.