Will he come back?

[Em Sch]

My boyfriend and I (27 & 26) dated for 1.5 years. It was an amazing relationship. Both had the same values, same faith, loved each others families, spent 4-5 nights/ week together. We both talked about our future and said we couldn't imagine anything splitting us up. Two months ago (end of Feb.), he broke up with me and said he just didn't know if he could "get to where I was in the relationship".  I was in complete shock and asked for a week to process it. That came and went. I wrote a letter stating some things I could have worked on in the relationship and I have not heard back at all. Not even an acknowledgement text. As background, he has dated a couple other people, but never serious, never told any other girl he loved them. I found out last night that in November, he was having doubts. He knew I thought he was "the one" but didn't know if he felt it.  I have not contacted him at all. His mom reached out and was nice and I know his whole family was shocked.  I know not to contact him, and he needs to contact me. I have having a hard time letting go because I know we could be great together.  Any advise or insight would be greatly appreciated.  Is our year and a half relationship really going to end with an unanswered letter?

[d0nnivain]

Yes, that is how your relationship ends.  Hopefully you got some peace / clarity by writing it. 

You can't change his mind.  He has concluded that you are not the one.  At your ages, given the length of time you were dating & the page you were on, he knew it was unfair to continue to lead you on so he ended it. 

Focus on your own healing.  It's all you can do  

[TeddyBundy1993]

1.5 years isn't that long if you ask me. And clearly he's that invested in relationship as you were. I mean look at your expectations you wanted a long relationship or even marriage with this guy! And things fizzled out soon for him.  You can't imagine the stress time and life gives to a relationship, where most couples deal with troubles.  Your relationship didn't even reached that stage. 

Nobody can answer if he will return or no. Only time will tell. But if suggest you to look at this action.  Specially his actions after the split. He's ignoring you and not even bothered to contact you. Forget what he said before. It's past now. He lied about his feelings to you in past. It's harsh reality. Move on. Leave things here as he did. Grow some self respect. I mean don't put yourself on hook for him! He doesn't need you as of now else he'd reach you. Rest of the answers you are looking for, no one can answer! If you look closely it won't matter actually.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Em Sch said:

 he just didn't know if he could "get to where I was in the relationship".  That came and went. I wrote a letter stating some things I could have worked on in the relationship and I have not heard back at all.

Sorry to hear this. What, exactly, does he mean by "get to where you are"?

Are you talking marriage family etc. and he just wants to date?

Delete and block him and all his people (especially his mother) from all your messaging apps and social media. 

Is it possible he's on/off with someone or met someone new?

[Pumpernickel]

48 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is it possible he's on/off with someone or met someone new?

That's always the Occam's razor, especially with men.

[Em Sch]

4 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Yes, that is how your relationship ends.  Hopefully you got some peace / clarity by writing it. 

You can't change his mind.  He has concluded that you are not the one.  At your ages, given the length of time you were dating & the page you were on, he knew it was unfair to continue to lead you on so he ended it. 

Focus on your own healing.  It's all you can do  

Do you think there is any chance is will change his mind after some time apart? He will realize everything I have to offer? 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Em Sch said:

Is our year and a half relationship really going to end with an unanswered letter?

Not to put too fine a point on it, but it ended before that. It ended when he broke up with you. 

There's sometimes not a lot of logic when it comes to these things, so it can't always be distilled into what we have to offer. I get what you meant, but if someone just doesn't have strong enough feelings, it won't work. Having a successful relationship needs more than the sum total of somenoe's good qualities. 

It sounds as though he thought about for a while before making this decision, so I would take that as the indication that there will not be a reconciliation. But of curiosity, how did you find out last night that he was having doubts back in November?