Jump to content

Suddenly disappear / ghosted?


Recommended Posts

princesstwis

I've met him 2018 in a dating site then eventually we communicate through fb mesenger. At first Im not interested with him coz he's not that consistent so i just call him besh to clear that we're friends until last year he constantly chatting and calling me and the friendship got deeper and i fell in love with him.

He's sending me mix signal but then i assume that he feels the same way. Then one day there's one instance that made me confront him, and it broke my heart coz he don't respond when i said i like him, he just say that im special. So i said we have to keep distance and need to find myself again. But he said i was being unfair and he wants to keep what we have but i refused coz im really hurting.

 So we didnt talk for a while till he messge me b4 Christmas and all the hurts im feeling during the time that we're not talking seems gone and im willing to be friends with him again. Ofcourse there are ups and downs but still we're able to get through it. Seems like im in a relationship with him but we're not and i dont even know what is it because they said a guy and a girl can't be friends.

And then 1 night we're having a good conversation, we're even laughing the whole conversation but sadly the network was weak so it was cut. I message him but got no response but i saw him seen it. The days went by but still got no message from him though i saw him online. Out of my pride, i didnt initiate as well until i noticed i didnt see him online anymore and so i checked his mesgr and it's says he's not available.

That was the first time he did that for 3yrs that ive known him, i dont know if he deactivate his account or blocked me but then i don't understand why. I cannot think of any reason and i was left hanging. I've been searching for an answer but im clueless.

Can someone gives a guy perspective what is it about?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Move on. If he's sending mixed signals and just cuts you off without warning, he's FAR from worth it. Anyone that ghosts you never really is. It's just best to find someone that actually wants to spend time with you and won't treat you as if you're an 'option' to them. Forgive me but FORGET this guy. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
princesstwis

Thanks for your honest advise, maybe i should say the same thing if i hear it with other people but since its my story so i really want to hear it from someone else for me to accept and realize the truth. But it's really hard to be cut off in someone's life w/o knowing why and im even giving him benefit of the doubt that maybe he's going through some difficulties and want sometime alone. But maybe i should think about myself as well 😔😔😔.

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, princesstwis said:

I've met him 2018 in a dating site then eventually we communicate through fb mesenger.

Have you met in person? He may be dating women locally. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
princesstwis

No we never had a chance to meet so only chat, calls and vc. And i know its weird, i have the feeling that he has someone else and thats one thing that drives me to confront him but he denied it thats why he said im being unfair when i distant from him. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, princesstwis said:

No we never had a chance to meet .

Ok. Cyber-relationships are quite frustrating and lonely.

You need to delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps.

That way you can invest your time and energy wisely by dating local, real life single men.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly

I think he's probably dating someone. 

Either way, this has become unhealthy for you. You have never met him, and you're attached in a way that he isn't. You were wise to cut it off before. He was fine enjoying your attention while he was single, but I'd bet he's now met someone else and doesn't want her to realize he's kept you on the backburner for years. 

He's not a good guy, OP. If he were, he wouldn't have made you feel guilty for wanting space when your interest levels weren't mutual. 

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
princesstwis

Yes i already blocked him, at first i was hesistant coz I'm still thinking that he might communicate again and im afraid those 3yrs will be wasted but then again i really have to focus with myself for now.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly
49 minutes ago, princesstwis said:

im afraid those 3yrs will be wasted

A sincere question, but if hadn't managed to meet even once in all this time, what did you expect the outcome to be?

Keeping him unblocked is not going to make it not a waste. It wasn't going anywhere productive, OP

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
princesstwis

I only had hopes last year but after the confrontation and distance i already told myself that i have nothing to expect from him even if he wins me back. Maybe I am gullible but i really felt his sincerity and what im holding on is the friendship we've built through these years. We can talk about everything and im really comfortable with him. Somehow he made me feel special and someone he cant afford to lose and he's the one who always initiates. What I cant accept is the fact that he cuts me off in his life without knowing the reason coz we're ok, very much ok. He done that before coz he felt upset with me, he suddenly stop talking but not to the extent of blocking me? 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Those 3 years were wasted.  You never met.  You probably never will. 

When you go back on the dating app, set your geographical boundaries to a radius where it's easy to meet in person.  

Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly
5 hours ago, princesstwis said:

i have nothing to expect from him even if he wins me back

Wins you back...to what, exactly?

You weren't dating.  It wasn't heading in that direction. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...