Dealing with Trauma

[NatoPMT]

Dear All

 

After witnessing a traumatic event, do you feel it is better to use distraction techniques to direct yourself away from visual flashbacks or do you think it needs to be 'dealt with' and not pushed to one side when the event is still very fresh in your mind?

 

Thanks

[loony]

After witnessing a traumatic event, do you feel it is better to use distraction techniques to direct yourself away from visual flashbacks or do you think it needs to be 'dealt with' and not pushed to one side when the event is still very fresh in your mind?

I've heard different things. Victims of crimes, people who often face very dangerous or violent situations like policmen, firemen, etc. used to be left alone instead of being treated and that turned out to be harmful for their psyche in the long end. They never learned to cope with their traumatic experiences and suffered through life.

 

Last year though, due to the tsunami in Asia, I heard another side of the story, that sometimes incidents that were awful and had a strong impact on people might better be left alone instead of being talked over and over. The constant remembering and talking over only created a longer lasting more traumatic image in the mind than would have happened if you had just let time deal with the memories.

 

It probably depends on the traumatic event.

[NatoPMT]

Hi Loony – thanks for your reply. That clarified what I was thinking too. I believed it depended on the nature of what was witnessed, the part the individual played in the event, the amount the event has of relevance to the witness’s future, the engagement the witness has to the events etc

 

Does anyone have any advice on distraction techniques? If a ‘snapshot’ of an event keeps reappearing, how can you stop dwelling on those visuals and thinking through the experience when it may not serve you to do that? Is there any advice anyone can offer to stop the snapshot turning into a ‘what if’ or train of thought, that remembers the pain of the event, if rationalising the event, there was nothing that could have been done?

 

In addition to this...my more pressing concern is that the event has brought back memories of past grief? My concern is that the past grief was much more significant in comparison to the current trauma, but the current trauma has been a much more obvious and expressive in its result.

 

I am having problems knowing how to deal with this because:

 

If the current trauma is being dealt with, with a lot of expression then that may mean the past grief has taught how to deal with grief more effectively. Therefore counselling may serve the purpose to prolong or pick apart a process that has already begun and is becoming an much more effective outlet for grief.

 

However, on the flip side, I am concerned that because the past grief wasn’t expressed, then the current trauma is being used as an outlet which is more inappropriate but easier to deal with than the past grief. Therefore, what is being buried and not dealt with about the past grief that repercussions could arise from.

 

Any input would be apprecaited, i feel out of my depth with issues fo this magnitude

[loony]

My personal test would be to look at my reaction to the current trauma and compare it to the one I had shown to the past trauma. If you reacted the same way twice, you're probably not healed yet because the same grief is still able to trigger the same reaction. If we have overcome something, we should be able to make a conscious decision to act in another way than what our triggers want us to do.

 

Was this helpful? It might be a bit more helpful maybe if you could give more details to your traumas.

[slubberdegullion]

Don't laugh, this has been studied and seems to have some benefit:

 

Put an elastic band around your wrist (not tight, of course, just loosely). Then when the traumatic event comes to mind, snap it HARD against your wrist.

 

It's completely harmless, but it takes your sensory attention away from the offending thought because your wrist will sting.

 

Really. Try it. And don't spend too much time ruminating on whether you've been through a grief process or not. It will happen on its own, in its own time.

[NatoPMT]

Thanks Loony

 

I know i havent made myself very clear, its not me its my partner. His twin died nearly 3 years ago and he very rarely talks about her. I met him 1 year after it happened, and he talked about her then but quite guardedly and now he rarely mentions her.

 

On Friday night he was walking his dog, and the dog walked into the road, stopped to look back at my partner and was hit by a car. The details sound absolutely horrific, Fred died in my bfs arms whimpering and terrified. When my bf got home, he was absolutely distraught, completely inconsolable. We sat up all night with his mum & dad, with Fred laid in the living room. His father is beside himself. The next day we drove 2.5 hours to their country house and buried Fred in the spot he used to sit and look out over the fields, next to a bench. His father sat up all Saturday night on the bench. I know it sounds extreme, but this dog was their first dog, and he was John & his twins pet, so it was like saying goodbye to her again for them.

 

I can see my bfs face keep crumpling when the images go through his head, hes told me he cant put them to one side which is expected as its only a few days ago. His parents have both told me that he wasnt like this when his sister died, he didnt cry, hasnt spoken much about it etc etc. I think that this event has opened the floodgates.

 

He is asking me for advice to get rid of the images, how can he deal with it etc, but we talked last night and he said he didnt know whether it was best to deal with the images rather than ignoring them - i think that indicates he has grown a lot from when he was first grieving for his sister. I dont know whether he should go to grief counselling or whether Fred's death has illustrated he's dealt with his sisters death more effectively than his parents assume - by expressing himself, not being ashamed of how he felt etc. He says hes trying to learn lessons from what happened to his dog - to appreciate what he has etc. I am hoping this indicates he doesnt need to go to counselling for his sister because the thought of him having to unravel his feelings about that and go through it all again is horrible. I dont want him to go through it unless its necessary, but i dont know how to help him identify if it IS necessary.

 

A friend went through counselling 3 years after her fiance died, at times she wished she hadnt opened the box again, but now shes much stronger. I dont want him to go through that unless its going to benefit him.

 

Part of me feels that hes grown so much since his sister died, but what do i know?

 

I am feeling very anxious myself, and have been for months, i have had a horrible year, i keep having near misses and people close to me are going through real traumas (my flatmate nearly died and is now recovering from heart surgery & i have been looking after him) and i keep thinking when is a near miss going to become a real tragedy? How can i feel anxious when others are going through genuine tragedies? I am fearful that my bf will die. Someone from my office is still in hospital following the tube bombings, 4 people who sit next to me were parked behind the bus in Tavistock Sq, i narrowly missed the tsunami - mortality has been too obvious.

 

Sorry for the ramble. It helps to ramble sometimes.

[Outcast]

That clarified what I was thinking too. I believed it depended on the nature of what was witnessed, the part the individual played in the event, the amount the event has of relevance to the witness’s future, the engagement the witness has to the events etc

 

Sorry but that's not true at all. It entirely depends on how much the trauma has affected you. Humans can get PTSD from ANY sort of event - a single breakup can trigger it. Some people are more resilient than others and don't get as affected, but if you're seriously affected, then therapy is for you.

 

people might better be left alone instead of being talked over and over. The constant remembering and talking over only created a longer lasting more traumatic image in the mind than would have happened if you had just let time deal with the memories.

 

Sorry but that's not how a PTSD specialist would deal with treating the trauma. The thing is that you have to go to someone who specializes in treating PTSD. If he's having the symptoms of PTSD, and flashbacks is one, then he'd be best to find a trauma specialist. Trying to not think about it is not something that will work; the theory is that somehow PTSD 'rewires' you and you have to actively treat it to get your brain back to the way it should be.

[loony]

BigBelm, I would have thought that the reason why your boyfriend cried so much after his dog's death was the breakdown of his last resistance. He had everything bottled up, but the death of his dog and the memory it invoked of his sister's death were just too much to keep it inside any longer (as you said yourself, "the event has opened the floodgates"), so I'd rather assume that he hasn't really dealt with it yet and therefore might benefit from grief counseling. That's just my personal opinion...

 

Why don't you suggest to him to go to a professional counselor and find out if further counseling is necessary or not? And maybe you could also get some counseling for your anxities?

[loony]

Sorry but that's not how a PTSD specialist would deal with treating the trauma. The thing is that you have to go to someone who specializes in treating PTSD. If he's having the symptoms of PTSD, and flashbacks is one, then he'd be best to find a trauma specialist. Trying to not think about it is not something that will work; the theory is that somehow PTSD 'rewires' you and you have to actively treat it to get your brain back to the way it should be.

In the article that I had read it was psychologists who doubted the usefulness of offering group therapy to tourists and helpers without checking first if they really needed it as not every horrible event is/will turn into a real trauma with long-term effects. (I'm not sure, am I using the term "trauma" too laxly here?)

[Outcast]

without checking first if they really needed it as not every horrible event is/will turn into a real trauma with long-term effects.

 

Yes. Which is why I said

if you're seriously affected, then therapy is for you.