Smurf1 Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 Hi everyone, Let's get the background short. I'm 24 and I've been with my (ex) girlfriend for the last 2.5 years. Starting from 2020 autumn we've been in a long distance relationship, since she left to attend courses abroad, and we managed to meet during Christmas time. By the end of March, I started feeling more and more sad about this relationship, of course I talked to her as soon as I started feeling that way, but I'm pretty sure she misundertood what I meant into "let's break up". A little excursus is required to be honest. I was pretty sure she was about to come back home for Easter Holidays (and my birthday too, they're close), but in the end she did not. On the other hand, the day she left in september, I told her I could have go visiting her. Now, we're going through a similar situation, in a couple of months we'll leave the place where we studying and the nice people we met and we want to live these months to the fullest (we talked about it); but sincerely I never thought of breaking up with her, except for a couple of time, when i was really really sad. By the way, we somehow kept it together all the way through april, even though it was blatant we were getting distant from each other everyday. Until a couple of days ago, when she basically called me and said she was with someone else a couple of night before. Well, it hit me like a hammer in the back of the head and (of course) it still hurts like hell, although I understand the whole situation well. I mean, she knew that of all the things she could do to me, this is the worst, we talked a lot about cheating stuff. I must point out that I'm pretty sensitive about this theme, due to previous experiences. We hanged up the phone without a "precise plan", I could sum it up as "if you want to know how i'm doing just text me, and viceversa", but honestly I would not know how to behave. She wasn't clear at all about what she wanted but sleeping with other people. Should I just start trying living from a dead relationship? I'd feel such a bad person doing this way, I feel like we could be together after all, but in the meantime it hurts like hell. Does it seem like a dead end to you? Thank you so much Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 28 minutes ago, Smurf1 said: a couple of days ago, when she basically called me and said she was with someone else a couple of night before. Sorry to hear that. It's a cowardly way to break up. She could have just admitted that LDRs are too difficult. The best approach is end it for good. Don't be the hometown fallback guy. Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Move forward. Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 Yes this relationship has ended. The distance played a part but so did the life changes that happen at your ages / life stages. Her traveling broadened her horizons & took her away from you but that was her journey just like you are on yours. Go NC & move forward in your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alfano Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 9 hours ago, Smurf1 said: Should I just start trying living from a dead relationship? I'm not understanding what this means and I've read it several times putting the emphasis on different words each time. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 27, 2021 Share Posted April 27, 2021 Yes, this is your cue to walk away. Always walk away from anything that no longer serves to grow you. Don't warp and twist yourself into a pretzel trying to hang onto someone who has chosen someone else over your relationship. Don't you think she should have just broken up with you first before being with anyone else? She was using it as a passive aggressive way to dump you and a reason to leave the relationship instead of just saying that it's over. Go on and heal and don't look back on this one bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 It's over mater. You'll squeeze nothing from speaking to her anymore. It's gonna be hard and lonely for a whole but you gotta move on now. She found someone else and you are history for her. She is clear actually, she wants that other guy over you and you can't do nothing. It's really selfish She knew you were sensitive about cheating still She went ahead and did that. It will take sometime but will be fine you are 24, you have entire life ahead of you Link to post Share on other sites
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