Girlfriend lied about age.

[Online lover]

So I've been talking to this girl I met over a game. We've been talking for about 8 months and well at first I was under the impression that she was single. We would talk night and day but 3 months in she tells me she has a boyfriend of over 3 years that she wants to end it with. It was a long distance relationship with no hope of them being together in the future.

We have very different mindsets, we get along from time to time. We would fight from time to time but make up and it be okay for like the next few days until we have another fight. We do have our good moments tho. We've been long distance unfortunately due to covid... We don't live too far away either...but we just met and it was all good.

She also made me believe that she was 24 but in reality she is 30. Which she just told me after we met for the first time. I'm 27. She had been lying to me for over 8 months about her age. I'm confused on what I should do. I can't trust her she didn't tell me about her ex boyfriend and now her age just makes me wonder what else is she hiding.

I love her and used to see a future with her. This age and trust thing has got me confused.

Edited April 29, 2021 by Online lover

[S2B]

Leading with any lie is a definite dealbreaker to me.

if they lie at the beginning - you’ll get all lies all the time.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Online lover said:

. We've been talking for about 8 months We would talk night and day 

Try not to get caught up in cyber-relationships.

You're making yourself vulnerable to catfish scammer and weirdos like this.

Get off the gaming console and stop talking to catfish "night and day"

If you are lonely get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting real women in real life.

If you are bored, take classes, get a side job, make room for sports, real life friends,etc.

Anyone who has time to "talk night and day" is a red flag. For all you know, this could be a 600lb 50 y/o dude.

 

[d0nnivain]

7 hours ago, Online lover said:

I love her and used to see a future with her. 

Hard stop.  You do NOT love her.  You don't even know her. 

This was dysfunctional from the get go.  She lied & she has a BF.  She's not available.  You fought multiple times with a woman you don't even know & hadn't met yet.  That is majorly screwed up. There should never have been enough of an emotional investment to warrant getting mildly upset let alone fight.  Good heavens.  

You already know you can't trust her.  Keep playing the on line game with her but nothing else about your interactions with her is real.  

[BaileyB]

8 hours ago, S2B said:

Leading with any lie is a definite dealbreaker to me.

Yup! She lied about her relationship status and she lied about her age.

Was she truthful about anything? 

She is attempting to jump from one online relationship to another...

This is not going to end well for you. I would give this one a pass...

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

Hard stop.  You do NOT love her.  You don't even know her. 

OMG - yes!

You have developed this relationship online and you have met this woman once.

You don’t know this woman and what you do know is that she has a problem with the truth! Not to mention loyalty, fidelity, trust. 

If you want to invite this into your life... good luck! 

Quote

This age and trust thing has got me confused.

if ever there is a difference between someone’s words and actions, lay attention to their actions. You know this woman is a liar and she has essentially cheated on her relationship. Two big strikes. 
 

Edited April 29, 2021 by BaileyB

[poppyfields]

13 hours ago, Online lover said:

We've been long distance unfortunately due to covid... We don't live too far away either...but we just met and it was all good.

If you don't live too far away from each other, then it's not long distance.  

Re her age, not a huge deal imo, many people won't disclose personal information until such time they meet in person, I am one of them being a very private person.

The important thing is when you met in person, she was truthful.

I also don't happen to believe asking one's age before meeting in person is appropriate anyway.  It's one of those "qualifying" questions, like a woman asking a man's height, or a man asking a woman's weight.  The questions are awkward, again like they're "qualifying" you, it's a huge turn off, for me anyway and other women I associate with.   I felt this way even when I did OLDing in my 20s.  I was raised to NOT ask such questions until you begin dating and established a true connection.

Best to meet IN PERSON, develop a sense of trust (which can only be done in person) and IF they still lie to you in person, face to face, that's a problem!

Here, she did not.  She was truthful when you met in person.  Focus on that, in person, not whatever went down during your on line interaction.

 

 

Edited April 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[flitzanu]

i mean, she still lives with her boyfriend and trying to "date" so how honest are you expecting this girl to be?  also don't give her any WoW gold or you will lose 1000 DKP.

[poppyfields]

16 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

i mean, she still lives with her boyfriend and trying to "date" so how honest are you expecting this girl to be?  also don't give her any WoW gold or you will lose 1000 DKP.

Yeah forgot about the boyfriend part.  That's outright deception, she's cheating on her boyfriend (emotionally cheated for 8 months and still cheating), and if she cheats on him, she will cheat on you.

I say next her for THAT.

The age thing take with a pinch of salt since she was truthful in person.

Edited April 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[glows]

There's not much to think about. You're wasting your time, OP. Don't be so vulnerable and taken in by characters like this. Shut the game down, go outside, take your mind off of this for awhile. She's not available and is in a toxic relationship, looking to monkey branch to some easy peasy next guy who's willing to take the bait. Don't let that be you. 

[spiderowl]

Sorry this happened, OP.  She has lied and is not trustworthy.  You have had a bit of a rocky relationship with her anyway so far, so that does not bode well.  If you continue this relationship, you will be constantly looking over your shoulder wondering what else she hasn't told you.

[poppyfields]

On 4/29/2021 at 11:16 AM, flitzanu said:

i mean, she still lives with her boyfriend and trying to "date" so how honest are you expecting this girl to be?  

This is a confusing thread; OP said she and her "boyfriend" are long distance and can never be together, have they even met in person OP?  Or is this another "on line" thing? 

Also, you said you were talking for 8 months and she told you after 3 months she had a boyfriend.

But yet you chose to continue talking to her for 5 months after that, may I ask why? 

The age thing is the least of your problems, since she told you the truth in person which is what's important.

Anyway, good luck hope it all works out. 

 

Edited May 1, 2021 by poppyfields

[ExpatInItaly]

Don't waste your time on this person, OP. 

She is not honest, about a lot of things. Next.