Ended it with a MM will he reach out? Heartbroken

[Scotgirl84]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

No. 

You chose to get involved and stay involved with a married man. You're making yourself miserable at this point. You're not a victim, but a volunteer. 

Guys it’s done. Met him told him I was worth more. Cried and walked away and blocked him 

 

[NYAG]

4 hours ago, Scotgirl84 said:

Jesus it’s so bad eh how people can treat people like that blatantly and say they love you 

it happens all the time. These types of predators are all over the place. They look for the chinks in your armour and know how to play you. It's a minefield.

[Scotgirl84]

3 minutes ago, NYAG said:

it happens all the time. These types of predators are all over the place. They look for the chinks in your armour and know how to play you. It's a minefield.

Aw well I’m finally free. 

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, Scotgirl84 said:

Guys it’s done. Met him told him I was worth more. Cried and walked away and blocked him 

 

I know it feels hard right now, but it will get better. 

You made a good decision. You are worth more - the only person who really needed to realize that was you! 

Take some time to heal. Get some counselling if you can. And then, get busy creating the life you want. 

Proud of you Scot! 

Edited May 11, 2021 by BaileyB

[Scotgirl84]

7 hours ago, BaileyB said:

I know it feels hard right now, but it will get better. 

You made a good decision. You are worth more - the only person who really needed to realize that was you! 

Take some time to heal. Get some counselling if you can. And then, get busy creating the life you want. 

Proud of you Scot! 

Thank you I do feel a bit better and stronger now I’m not constantly checking my phone on him. It’s his loss. 

[Snakesalive]

1 hour ago, Scotgirl84 said:

Thank you I do feel a bit better and stronger now I’m not constantly checking my phone on him. It’s his loss. 

It takes time and it’s a process that you’ll go through. Be patient and take one hour /one day at a time  find things to distract yourself with and keep reminding yourself what you’ve gained -self respect, peace , the ability to be fully present for your life and children without distractions.  Here if you need us . 

[Scotgirl84]

1 minute ago, Snakesalive said:

It takes time and it’s a process that you’ll go through. Be patient and take one hour /one day at a time  find things to distract yourself with and keep reminding yourself what you’ve gained -self respect, peace , the ability to be fully present for your life and children without distractions.  Here if you need us . 

Thank you I feel a weight has been lifted as if he loved me really he woulda been with me simple 

[Scotgirl84]

Just now, Scotgirl84 said:

Thank you I feel a weight has been lifted as if he loved me really he woulda been with me simple 

Mega worth more than a second thought 

[Annonymous1234]

To Scot

You deserve so much more than this man was prepared to offer you. While it is likely to be difficult in the short-term, you will look back and relish the emotional freedom that comes from your decision. You are also now creating the headspace, whereby you can eventually let in a partner, who will be fully present in the way that you want.

All the best. 

Edited May 12, 2021 by Selkie1111

[Scotgirl84]

2 hours ago, Selkie1111 said:

To Scot

You deserve so much more than this man was prepared to offer you. While it is likely to be difficult in the short-term, you will look back and relish the emotional freedom that comes from your decision. You are also now creating the headspace, whereby you can eventually let in a partner, who will be fully present in the way that you want.

All the best. 

Seen him in work I was civil and pleasant he was very dry didn’t look happy couldn’t even look at me 

[Stupidkupid]

Hey @Scotgirl84 this is going to hurt like an absolute b***h for a while, on and off but slowly, surely, more off than on... until its just a memory. 

You're going to want to reach out, like before, or if he does or catches you at work, give in. Don't. You're in probably the hardest phase now.

Come here. Re-read this, remain yourself of how it hurts to be in or out, but at least out you are your own person, making your own decisions, not hurting anyone else and that this, too, shall pass.

Good luck but you can and will do it.

[Scotgirl84]

2 hours ago, Stupidkupid said:

Hey @Scotgirl84 this is going to hurt like an absolute b***h for a while, on and off but slowly, surely, more off than on... until its just a memory. 

You're going to want to reach out, like before, or if he does or catches you at work, give in. Don't. You're in probably the hardest phase now.

Come here. Re-read this, remain yourself of how it hurts to be in or out, but at least out you are your own person, making your own decisions, not hurting anyone else and that this, too, shall pass.

Good luck but you can and will do it.

So hard I’m going to remain strong though I need to do this. I’m gutted he was really dry and awkward with me though think that hurts more. I expected him to be nice friendly and ask how I was. 

[elaine567]

28 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said:

So hard I’m going to remain strong though I need to do this. I’m gutted he was really dry and awkward with me though think that hurts more. I expected him to be nice friendly and ask how I was. 

As you already know it is all about him. His marriage, his wife, his problems
You were his sounding board, his soft place to land.
As you don't want to do that any longer, he is angry and pouty with you...
He wants to put you back in line.

[Scotgirl84]

20 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

As you already know it is all about him. His marriage, his wife, his problems
You were his sounding board, his soft place to land.
As you don't want to do that any longer, he is angry and pouty with you...
He wants to put you back in line.

It’s so bad how dry and awkward he was 

[Naivewomen]

So proud of you Scotgirl! It will feel terrible for sometime. However,  once you regain your confidence and self worth, you will absolutely 💯% have emotional freedom. 

You will understand so much more IN TIME!! It's a very dark road and you are walking toward the light! Keep going!!

[Scotgirl84]

16 minutes ago, Naivewomen said:

So proud of you Scotgirl! It will feel terrible for sometime. However,  once you regain your confidence and self worth, you will absolutely 💯% have emotional freedom. 

You will understand so much more IN TIME!! It's a very dark road and you are walking toward the light! Keep going!!

Thanks I felt good last night but today not so much when he was so dry and awkward with me it’s hurtful after all he agreed it he wouldn’t leave so if he loved me he would want me happy. 

[Naivewomen]

1 minute ago, Scotgirl84 said:

Thanks I felt good last night but today not so much when he was so dry and awkward with me it’s hurtful after all he agreed it he wouldn’t leave so if he loved me he would want me happy. 

You will have many highs and lows. So try and be prepared for them and talk yourself out of the lows when you can. I considered them episodes and they DO GET better! In time and with distance! Unfortunately,  you work with him as did I. This alone will make the circumstances that mucb harder! 

Begin today by realizing that HE doesn't care about your happiness. Only HIS! It's sickening actually but it's the hard truth. 😪

You have no idea how I feel your pain. 

[Scotgirl84]

2 minutes ago, Naivewomen said:

You will have many highs and lows. So try and be prepared for them and talk yourself out of the lows when you can. I considered them episodes and they DO GET better! In time and with distance! Unfortunately,  you work with him as did I. This alone will make the circumstances that mucb harder! 

Begin today by realizing that HE doesn't care about your happiness. Only HIS! It's sickening actually but it's the hard truth. 😪

You have no idea how I feel your pain. 

Was he awkward with you? How did it go? How long ago was it? Thanks this helps 

[Beentheretoooften]

1 minute ago, Naivewomen said:

You will have many highs and lows. So try and be prepared for them and talk yourself out of the lows when you can. I considered them episodes and they DO GET better! In time and with distance! Unfortunately,  you work with him as did I. This alone will make the circumstances that mucb harder! 

Begin today by realizing that HE doesn't care about your happiness. Only HIS! It's sickening actually but it's the hard truth. 😪

You have no idea how I feel your pain. 

Peoples long term health after these relationships vary.   You could be still be languishing after 2 years.  You may never get back to “normal”, you could be fine in a few months.     You will learn to manage the ebbs and flows of the aftermath which is just beginning now. He may leave you alone. He may not. Be prepared for any situation.   

[Beentheretoooften]

1 minute ago, Scotgirl84 said:

Was he awkward with you? How did it go? How long ago was it? Thanks this helps 

Naive...so curious how you’ve been??

[Scotgirl84]

Just now, Beentheretoooften said:

Peoples long term health after these relationships vary.   You could be still be languishing after 2 years.  You may never get back to “normal”, you could be fine in a few months.     You will learn to manage the ebbs and flows of the aftermath which is just beginning now. He may leave you alone. He may not. Be prepared for any situation.   

He is totally ignoring me and being really awkward it’s hurting worse. I expected him to be nice and check I was ok in work but he’s just treating me like a stranger 

[Naivewomen]

6 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said:

Was he awkward with you? How did it go? How long ago was it? Thanks this helps 

Scotgirl, he had left the office a year before it ended. He also got caught. He relocated about a mile from my office. It wasn't far enough. This is still the current situation. It will be 3 years in July!! He continued to try and swing by for short hellos on occasion. I was always polite and respectful. He is doing just fine! 

He finally stopped this past November as I asked him too! The spirals would have continued my healing process. It's not worth it !! Nothing will ever change. Time too get off the Rollercoaster!

[Scotgirl84]

Just now, Naivewomen said:

Scotgirl, he had left the office a year before it ended. He also got caught. He relocated about a mile from my office. It wasn't far enough. This is still the current situation. It will be 3 years in July!! He continued to try and swing by for short hellos on occasion. I was always polite and respectful. He is doing just fine! 

He finally stopped this past November as I asked him too! The spirals would have continued my healing process. It's not worth it !! Nothing will ever change. Time too get off the Rollercoaster!

Horrible. Just so hurt at how dry he was with me it’s terrible 

[Naivewomen]

9 minutes ago, Beentheretoooften said:

Naive...so curious how you’ve been??

It's been a long road to recovery but I have met some great people along the way! Thanks for asking. Truly hope your doing well also!

[Beentheretoooften]

9 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said:

He is totally ignoring me and being really awkward it’s hurting worse. I expected him to be nice and check I was ok in work but he’s just treating me like a stranger 

You want what he is doing.  Why would you want him to check on you?  That would continue to drag it out. Which he likely will do.