Beentheretoooften Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 9 hours ago, S2B said: So learn moving forward. ANY married man sharing personal info with you about his marriage is grooming you for his affair partner. when you are at work - do the work you are hired to do. Keep any personal info/exchanges brief - have that boundary that doesn’t set yourself up to be primed for another affair. seek out single/available men to date. Every single one? Lol. You guys do bring some humor here. Every single one that shares any personal information, huh? I told a friend of mine that’s a girl, that I’ve been married 20 years. This is beginning of me grooming her. Alright! I’m on the right track. nonsense again. So silly, the ones that say that just aren’t over their own A’s Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 14, 2021 Author Share Posted May 14, 2021 Just now, Beentheretoooften said: Every single one? Lol. You guys do bring some humor here. Every single one that shares any personal information, huh? I told a friend of mine that’s a girl, that I’ve been married 20 years. This is beginning of me grooming her. Alright! I’m on the right track. nonsense again. So silly, the ones that say that just aren’t over their own A’s I know it’s a bit stereotypical Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 4 hours ago, BaileyB said: Indeed, I sat beside a lovely man for years and I knew much about his life - I had met his wife,I knew about his parents illness, he told me stories about his children - I would say we were good friends and we did support each other through some difficult life events (like the death of both of our parents). I did not, however, know anything about his marriage until he filed for divorce. Did not even know they were having difficulty. There was always a boundary... but that’s impossible. He was grooming you! Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 1 hour ago, Beentheretoooften said: but that’s impossible. He was grooming you! I think the point was that the sharing about their marital problems is the key rather than chatting about their family on the whole. At least thats how I read it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted May 17, 2021 Share Posted May 17, 2021 On 5/14/2021 at 12:33 PM, Beentheretoooften said: Every single one? Lol. You guys do bring some humor here. Every single one that shares any personal information, huh? I told a friend of mine that’s a girl, that I’ve been married 20 years. This is beginning of me grooming her. Alright! I’m on the right track. nonsense again. So silly, the ones that say that just aren’t over their own A’s By "personal information" I'm sure the reference was to very personal information. Telling someone you've been married for 20 years is not that personal. Telling someone you don't sleep in the same room as your spouse is personal and I would consider that "baiting" a person, if not grooming them. It's not nonsense. Someone who's been in that position KNOWS it's not nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted May 17, 2021 Share Posted May 17, 2021 On 5/14/2021 at 12:34 PM, Scotgirl84 said: I know it’s a bit stereotypical ...and yet...there is example after example after example after example as proof positive out on these forums.... Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 23, 2021 Share Posted May 23, 2021 How’s it going Scot? Hope you are well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 On 5/23/2021 at 11:45 PM, BaileyB said: How’s it going Scot? Hope you are well. Hi sorry been quiet currently trying to put my house on the market I’m terrified it’s such a big step. And I’m still very much embroiled in this affair 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 6 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said: And I’m still very much embroiled in this affair 😞 Of course you are... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 9 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Of course you are... Yip disaster Link to post Share on other sites
Arrangrl62 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 31 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said: Hi sorry been quiet currently trying to put my house on the market I’m terrified it’s such a big step. And I’m still very much embroiled in this affair 😞 Morning You won’t ever see this affair with any sense of clarity until it’s done, over, finished for good. . It’s called affair fog I think . Moving home is a big step as you say but it could also be a fresh start for you and your husband? What’s preventing you from ending your affair ? Only you know the answer . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 33 minutes ago, Arrangrl62 said: Morning You won’t ever see this affair with any sense of clarity until it’s done, over, finished for good. . It’s called affair fog I think . Moving home is a big step as you say but it could also be a fresh start for you and your husband? What’s preventing you from ending your affair ? Only you know the answer . Selling the home is to start a new fresh start away from my husband it’s negative toxic relationship I’m so scared though cos it’s a big decision Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 Just now, Scotgirl84 said: Selling the home is to start a new fresh start away from my husband it’s negative toxic relationship I’m so scared though cos it’s a big decision And mm won’t ever finish with me it’s me that needs to end it and I can’t seem to end it cos I’m in love with him. At least if I’m single and we get caught then decision will be made for us then Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 Just now, Scotgirl84 said: And mm won’t ever finish with me it’s me that needs to end it and I can’t seem to end it cos I’m in love with him. At least if I’m single and we get caught then decision will be made for us then Recently he has no care if we get caught or not Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 1 minute ago, Scotgirl84 said: Recently he has no care if we get caught or not Has anyone on this thread sold their house after splitting with their man??? I’m honestly terrified feel like backing out and suffering him just for the sake of the house Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 14 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said: Recently he has no care if we get caught or not Is that just BS bravado for your benefit, or is it just his cowardly way of trying to get his wife to throw him out. He can't end it but if she finds out she will end it, type thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: Is that just BS bravado for your benefit, or is it just his cowardly way of trying to get his wife to throw him out. He can't end it but if she finds out she will end it, type thinking. Think the latter tbh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 3 minutes ago, Scotgirl84 said: Think the latter tbh Although he’s scared of being bad guy again with his kids Link to post Share on other sites
Arrangrl62 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 2 hours ago, Scotgirl84 said: Selling the home is to start a new fresh start away from my husband it’s negative toxic relationship I’m so scared though cos it’s a big decision Yes it certainly is but I’m sure it will work out and you will be happier - sorry , I’m prob not up to speed with your posts. I genuinely hope it works out for you but please don’t pin any hopes on the married bloke leaving . He won’t . Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 4 hours ago, Scotgirl84 said: And mm won’t ever finish with me it’s me that needs to end it and I can’t seem to end it cos I’m in love with him. At least if I’m single and we get caught then decision will be made for us then That’s rather unfortunate. It looks like there is nothing you can do then,if you love the guy. Especially since the two of you are now waiting on his wife to make a decision for all of you. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 4 hours ago, Scotgirl84 said: Selling the home is to start a new fresh start away from my husband it’s negative toxic relationship I’m so scared though cos it’s a big decision Are you moving closer to or further away from your affair partner? I feel for you Scot, I really do. You are stuck in two dead end relationships and you feel like you lack the courage and ability to take control of your own life. I hope you find that somehow. Moving out of the home you share with your soon to be or perhaps now ex husband (if I’m understanding this correctly) seems the logical first step. Moving away from your affair partner and/or getting a new job would be the second. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 I think before it is all too late you need to take stock and decide whether leaving your marriage/selling your house is indeed the right thing to do. Is it really all so hopeless? Or is your judgement clouded by your love for this MM? My guess your MM is likely going nowhere even if his wife found out tomorrow. She will reconcile as she has little option not to, and he will go back to her. That is if you even manage to prise him out of his home in the first place... If you believe this guy will be your happy ever after, you may be in for a big shock... I am not going to persuade anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage but sometimes it is better to stick with the devil you know... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 2 hours ago, elaine567 said: My guess your MM is likely going nowhere even if his wife found out tomorrow. Indeed. You are sticking around under the assumption that his wife would file for divorce if he was discovered. What happens if your assumption is wrong? After all, he was already previously discovered and she stayed, did she not? If the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, where exactly would that leave you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scotgirl84 Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 5 hours ago, BaileyB said: Are you moving closer to or further away from your affair partner? I feel for you Scot, I really do. You are stuck in two dead end relationships and you feel like you lack the courage and ability to take control of your own life. I hope you find that somehow. Moving out of the home you share with your soon to be or perhaps now ex husband (if I’m understanding this correctly) seems the logical first step. Moving away from your affair partner and/or getting a new job would be the second. 100% that’s exactly it I’m stuck in two relationships which won’t work and I love the two of them but one I don’t want to hurt and the other I don’t want to be hurt by honestly so hard Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 2 hours ago, Scotgirl84 said: 100% that’s exactly it I’m stuck in two relationships which won’t work and I love the two of them but one I don’t want to hurt and the other I don’t want to be hurt by honestly so hard Not exactly that hard though when the one individual is not available to be in a relationship with you. Guaranteed hurt - get with a man who is married to another woman and refuses to leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
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